


Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell

by Halevetica



Series: Heaven and Hell [1]
Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Theo, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Human Castiel, Hunter Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Older Siblings Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester, Past Relationship(s), Pining Dean Winchester, Pining Derek, Post-Nogitsune, Protective Dean Winchester, Stiles Stilinski is a Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 57
Words: 75,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halevetica/pseuds/Halevetica
Summary: Stiles Winchester was forced to live in Beacon Hills for two years when his brothers decided that he should live a normal life. But when they found out that Beacon Hills was a literal beacon for the supernatural, they decided he was safer with them. What they don't know is that three of his friends were werewolves, one was a banshee and that he dated a werecoyote. He planned to keep those facts to himself until he runs into an old friend he thought he'd never see again and what's worse, his brothers are tasked with protecting the old friend.





	1. A quick hunt

Dean knocked on his youngest brother's door. "Stiles, you in there?" 

"Come in." Stiles called.

"Hey, Sam and I are gonna go on a quick hunt, you comin'?" Dean asked standing in Stiles doorway. 

Stiles was currently on his bed with his laptop and their dad's journal amongst a zillion other papers. 

"No, you guys go ahead, I'm think I'm close to finding a lead on Crowley. He knows something about the princes of hell, I know he does. He can help us track them down." Stiles spoke sifting through some papers.

"Stiles, you've been in here for two days. You could use the fresh air." Dean insisted.

"Dean, you and I both know what happens if Lucifer gets out of the cage again. Sam has been through enough, he says he's fine but I know he's scared. Lucifer messed him up pretty bad. " Stiles looked at Dean with the same eyes Sam would when he desperately wanted Dean to agree on something. 

Dean sighed. "Okay, fine. Cas is staying too." 

"How's he doing?" Stiles asked.

"He's okay." Dean shrugged. 

"He still blaming himself for the fall of the angels?" Stiles asked forcing Dean to talk about it. He knew Dean and Cas were on the outs at the moment. It was driving him and Sam crazy. They ignored each other mostly but on occasion the two would argue.

"It's his fault." Dean snapped.

"Dean, he was tricked. It's happened to all of us." Stiles sighed.

"You sound like Sam." Dean grumbled as he turned to walk away.

"I take that as a compliment!" Stiles yelled after him.

"You shouldn't!" Dean yelled back.

Stiles grinned, shaking his head as he turned back to his laptop. 

-

"He's not coming?" Sam asked loading up the impala.

"No, he thinks he's close to finding crowley." Dean answered. 

"Has he seemed a little off to you since he's been back?" Sam asked climbing into the passengers side.

"We didn't see him for two years, Sam, he's gonna be different." Dean shrugged starting up Baby.

"I know but it's not his personality it's...like he's more on edge or nervous." Sam frowned trying to come up with the right words.

"He just needs time to adjust to being a hunter again." Dean said dismissively.

"It's been six months, Dean."

Dean opened his mouth to respond but stopped. 

"Okay, so when we get back we talk to him." Dean shrugged simply.

Sam didn't respond. He knew Dean didn't want to think of anything being wrong with their youngest brother. Sam didn't either but instead of pretending the problem didn't exist he wanted to fix it. He only wished Dean shared that sentimate.


	2. You know you can call him

"Dean, hey, what's up?" Stiles asked holding his phone with his shoulder as he typed away on his laptop.

"Hey, so our case just got a lot more complicated. We ran into some angel trouble." Dean said.

"Is everything okay?" Stiles asked frowning.

"Yeah, just wanted to let you know we'll be home tomorrow instead of later tonight." Dean answered. 

"Okay, you two be careful." Stiles responded.

"How's uh, Cas?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"You know you can call him." Stiles sighed.

"I know, I was just asking." Dean mumbled causing Stiles to roll his eyes.

"You two just try not to die, okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah." Dean answered dismissively.

Stiles hung up just as a knock sounded on his door.

"Yeah?" Stiles called.

Cas poked his head in. "Was that Dean?" 

"Yeah, Cas it was." Stiles sighed.

"Is everything okay?" 

"They ran into some angel trouble and won't be home until tomorrow." Stiles answered.

Cas nodded. "How is Dean? Did he sound okay?"

"You know you can call him." Stiles sighed. 

"Yeah, right, I know." Cas nodded going to leave.

"Cas, wait." Stiles looked up from his computer. "Dean doesn't really blame you for what happened. He's just upset because you could have been killed. You know how he worries." 

"It's okay, Stiles, I know I messed up." Cas gave a small smile. He appreciated Stiles trying to make him feel better.

"It happens, Cas. We all make mistakes, Dean just has a hard time showing he cares. This is how he does it." Stiles insisted.

"Thank you, Stiles." Cas gave another smile before walking out.

Stiles groaned as he rubbed his temples. Figuring out Cas and Dean's relationship was more puzzling than any case he's ever worked. One minute the two are all heart eyes and cute moments and the next they can't stand to be in the same room together. 

-

Cas flipped through some of the men of letters archives in hope of finding something that might help them take out a prince of hell. A previous encounter proved that the Demon blade was ineffective. And they didn't have possesion of the colt anymore.

"Hey, Cas, any luck?" Stiles asked walking into the main room of the bunker.

"Nothing. I fear we've reached a dead end." Cas sighed pressing his fingers to his temples.

"Are you okay, Cas?" Stiles asked concerned. 

"I'm not sure. I have a pain in my head I've never felt before." Cas answered looking up at Stiles. 

Stiles smiled. "It's called a headache. You should probably take a break. Did you sleep last night?" 

Cas sat back in his chair, looking at the youngest Winchester. "You're so much like Sam but yet you're just like Dean."

Stiles smiled. "And you're avoiding the question." 

Cas grinned. "Just like Dean."

Cas let out a heavy sigh. "I didn't sleep well. It's a new concept to me and I'm uses to dreaming. I wake up and feel like I don't know where I am." 

"Are they bad dreams?" Stiles asked taking a seat next to the fallen angel.

"Some of them are. But mostly I just relive the fall." Cas answered frowning down at his lap.

"You didn't know Metatron was going to trick you. We all trusted him." Stiles  put a hand on Cas' shoulder.

"Dean asked me not to go. I thought I could fix it, but all I did was let him down, again." Cas shook his head.

"Cas, he and Sam let Lucifer out the first time. They literally started the apocalypse." Stiles reminded him.

Cas looked up at Stiles. "So much like Sam." He gave a small smile.

Stiles smiled back. "Hopefully I got all the good parts of them." 

"Though I'm not sure Dean has any good parts."  Stiles laughed causing Cas to as well.

"Your brothers raised you well. I know your father would be proud of the man you're becoming." 

"Our father wouldn't care." Stiles snapped.

"Stiles-"

Stiles stood and walked to the kitchen not bothering to listen to what Cas had to say.

-

"Here, Sam." Dean tossed his brother a duffle bag from the car.

"Let's introduce you to the family." Dean smiled at the guy climbing out of the back seat.

Sam opened the door and lead the way down the stairs.

"Remember the pet angel Naomi referred to. This is him." He gestured to Cas who stood from his chair.

"This is Cas, Cas this is-"

The sound of shattering glass cut Dean off.

Stiles stood in the door way glass at his feet, his jaw agape and his eyes wide. It couldn't be.


	3. You shouldn't be here

Stiles stood shocked. His coffee cup in shards at his feet.

"Derek?" Stiles asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"Stiles?" Derek frowned in confusion.

"You two know each other?" Dean asked narrowing his eyes at Derek.

"We crossed paths a time or two back in Beacon Hills." Stiles answered stiffly.

"Well I hope you guys were friendly cause he's staying here until the foreseeable future." Dean patted Derek's shoulder.

"What? Why?" Stiles snapped his head towards Dean who was at Cas' side.

"He's got a group of angels after him. They're trying to get him before one of the prince's of hell does. Apparently he knows something about a box with a weapon. He says he doesn't know what they're talking about." Sam explained.

Stiles ran a hand through his hair. "And you're okay with him staying here?" Stiles asked. Dean would never allow a werewolf to stay in the bunker.

"If he knows something that can help Ramiel he doesn't need to be out there. Even if he doesn't know what they're talking about about." Sam answered with a frown. Stiles was always for helping someone, so why was he so concerned about Derek staying?

"And Dean didn't put up a fight?" Stiles glanced at Dean. 

"He passed all the tests, I'm fine with it. He's one of us now." Dean nodded.

"Right, the tests, holy water, silver, salt." Stiles nodded. He was never more thankful that silver didn't effect Derek. 

"How do you know these guys?" Derek asked gesturing to Sam and Dean. 

Stiles shifted slightly. "Uh...they...are...my brothers." Stiles bit at his bottom lip as he braced for Derek's reaction.

Derek raised his brows in shock a look of betrayal in his eyes.

"You're a hunter." Derek nodded. It wasn't posed as a question but Stiles answered anyway.

"Yeah." Stiles answered dropping his eyes briefly.

"Family business huh?" Derek narrowed his eyes.

"Yep, saving people, hunting things, the family business." Dean smiled widely.

"I would have told you but I didn't know how you would react." Stiles ran his hand along the back of his neck.

"Right." Derek gave a nod clearly not wanting to continue the conversation.

"Wait, did you two date?" Dean asked glancing between Stiles and Derek.

"Definitely not." The two friends answered in unison.

"Were you friends?" Sam asked.

Stiles and Derek glanced at each other. They weren't really sure what their relationship was. 

"You two slept together didn't you?" Dean accused with a smirk on his face.

"What?" Derek jerked his head towards Dean.

"No." Stiles huffed. He glanced at Sam.

"Dean, come on, lay off." Sam said stepping up to Stiles' defense. 

"There's a weird tension between them, I'm just curious." Dean grinned. 

"We had mutual friends." Stiles answered. 

"Stiles, why don't you show Derek to his room, I'll clean this up." Sam suggested tossing Dean a glare.

"He can have the room across from yours." Dean winked at his youngest brother.

Stiles rolled his eyes as he lead Derek deeper into the bunker.

"Here." Stiles pointed to the room across from his. 

"So a hunter huh?" Derek spoke as he dropped his bag on the bed.

"You shouldn't be here." Stiles snapped ignoring Derek's question.

"Yeah, well they didn't really give me an option. One of the angels knocked me out and I woke in the backseat of their car. I couldn't exactly tell them I was a werewolf since they started with, "I'm Dean, this is Sam, we're hunters we kill everything from Demons, to werewolves, to ghosts. Now that you're caught up why were angels after you?" Derek snapped back. 

"Derek, you don't understand, if Dean finds out, he'll kill you and he won't hesitate." Stiles stressed.

"So we don't tell him. I passed all his tests. He has no reason to suspect anything." Derek shrugged.

"That means you have to keep your wolf in check." Stiles said even though he knew it was pointless. Derek always had his wolf in check.

"Stiles, you know I have control." Derek said giving Stiles a sideways look.

"I know but, I wouldn't win in a fight against my brother. I won't be able to save your ass this time." Stiles spoke, his tone serious. 

"Stiles, I'll be fine." Derek sighed. He could see the concern on Stiles' face and feel his nerves.

"Also, don't mention Scott, Lydia or Malia." Stiles begged.

"Oh yeah, you dated a werecoyote. I can only imagine how that would go over." Derek chuckled. 

"Oh and don't mention the Argents. Chris and I made a deal." Stiles added.

"The Argents knew?" Derek snapped.

"Chris did. Allison didn't. He recognized me from a hunt from before." Stiles explained.

"So wait, the whole hating the sight of blood, clumsy hyperactive spazz was all for show?" Derek asked looking at Stiles quizzically.

"Dean said it was really important no one knew who I was. I knew that if I didn't put on an act you guys would get suspicious." Stiles shrugged.

"So basically, you're nothing like the Stiles I know." Derek growled in irritation.

"That's not true. I'm just not as clumsy or squimish." Stiles shook his head.

"The night Scott got bit. When you found Laura..." Derek turned to Stiles.

"I thought it might be a case. I wanted to handle it myself. I know it's my fault Scott got bit." Stiles huffed.

Derek didn't say anything he simply eyed Stiles curiously.

"Look, I've got something to finish up, if you need anything my room is across the hall." Stiles jabbed a thumb over his shoulder before turning and leaving.

Derek sighed once Stiles left his room. He glanced at the mostly closed door of Stiles' room.

He had been shocked to see Stiles here but he was kind of glad, until he found out that Stiles was a hunter and had lied to him for two years. He'd trusted Stiles, something he didn't do easily.

Stiles stared at the computer screen, his pen held between his teeth as he typed. 

Derek poked his head in to see Stiles with the familiar frown embedded between his brows.

"So this is how you got so good at research." Derek nodded as he stepped partially in the room.

Stiles pulled the pen from his lips.

"Uh, yeah." Stiles nodded looking at the array of papers surrounding him.

"Why were you in Beacon Hills anyway?" Derek asked.

"Sam and Dean decided I didn't need to be hunting anymore. They wanted me to live a normal life, whatever that is." Stiles shrugged.

"But you're back." Derek frowned.

"They heard from a few hunters that Beacon Hills was a literal Beacon for supernatural beings. They decided I was safer with them." Stiles answered.

"How long ago did you leave?" Derek asked.

"About six months ago." Stiles answered.

"Do you talk to any of them?" Derek asked.

"No, they've tried reaching out but...it's safer that we're not in contact." Stiles dropped his head.

"I would ask if you do, but I suspect I know the answer." Stiles glared at Derek.

"I know I went MIA. But I had some things to take care of." Derek sighed.

"Right, and you didn't have access to a phone?" Stiles snapped.

"I figured a clean break would be easier." Derek said looking at Stiles carefully. 

"Easier? For who?" Stiles scoffed.  
"I was worried sick, you just took off with Braden and we never hear from you again."

Derek frowned. "You were worried about me?" Derek asked in surprise.

"Of course I was, I know we had a rocky relationship but you and I were always there for each other and then suddenly you weren't." Stiles snapped.

Derek looked confused and guilty.  
"I didn't realize you cared." 

"It was a year ago, forget it." Stiles dismissed the conversation, turning back to his computer.

Derek turned suddenly alerted. 

"What?" Stiles asked worry laced in his tone.

"I hear arguing." Derek listened carefully. 

Stiles got out of bed with a sigh.

"Dean and Cas." Stiles walked out to the main room with Derek behind him. It always took both him and Sam to break them up.


	4. Dean

"Haven't you made enough stupid decisions lately?" Dean's voice boomed angrily.

"Well one of us has to do something and I don't see you out there interrogating the angels." Cas shouted back.

"You're number one on their hit list, you really think they'll cooperate with you?" Dean snapped, Cas drove him crazy sometimes.

"I still have friends, Dean, friends I can trust." Cas huffed. 

"Like you trusted Metatron?" 

"Dean." Stiles snapped walking into the main room.

"Stiles, stay out of this." Dean barked not looking away from Cas.

"No, you've raked him through the coals enough over this." Stiles stepped closer to his oldest brother.

"He wants to go meet up with some angels and find out more about this box." Dean crossed his arms looking at Stiles.

"So let me go with him." Stiles responded with a shrug. 

"Not gonna happen." Dean shot down the idea immediately. 

"I'll go with them." Derek piped in.

"You don't need to be out there right now." Dean snapped.

"I can handle myself." Derek growled. 

"Really? Is getting knocked unconcious you handling yourself?" Dean turned to Derek.

"Dean." Stiles huffed.

"They took me by surprise." Derek growled again. 

"Derek, don't." Stiles stepped in between him and his brother.

"That's what they do. Angels are dicks." Dean said tossing a glare at Cas.

Cas rolled his eyes.

"Hey, what's going on?" Sam asked walking into the kitchen. "I could hear the yelling over the shower."

"Dean is being paranoid." Cas answered.

"Paranoid? I'm being smart." Dean yelled whirling to face the fallen angel.

"Smart would be finding this box before Ramiel does." Cas snapped. It was times like this he missed his wings. He couldn't just disappear.

"Okay, guys come on." Sam walked over to the fighting couple.

"He wants to meet up with some angels and find out more about the box." Dean huffed.

"Is that really such a good idea, Cas?" Sam asked gently.

"I have a couple friends that are willing to meet with me. Friends I trust." Cas explained.

"How do you know you can trust them?" Sam put a hand up stopping Dean from saying whatever he'd opened his mouth to say.

"They were from my garrison." Cas answered.

"Dean this might be our best chance." Sam said turning to his older brother.

"Oh come on." Dean threw his hands up.

"Well if you go, we all go." Dean said sternly turning to walk away.

"Even Derek?" Stiles asked nervously.

"Yeah, I'm not leaving him here. The bunker may be warded but they aren't angel proof and there's a whole lot of pissed of angels that want us all dead." Dean answered.

"The bunker is shielded so noone knows it's here, Dean. And I can't very well show up with an entourage of hunters behind me." Cas spoke up on irritation.

"You're not going alone and that's final. Get your shit together and meet at the impala in ten." Dean ordered.

"Dean." Cas huffed.

Stiles get Derek an angel blade from the weapons room." Dean spoke ignoring Cas.

"Dean." Cas spoke louder.

"Damn it, Cas! You could have died helping Metatron! I'm not letting you risk your life again especially without your grace. We can't lose you. We need you. I need you. Damn it Cas why do you have to fight me every step of the way!" Dean was full on yelling and louder than he has before. 

The room went silent. 

"Dean." Cas sighed looking apologetic.

"Impala in ten." Dean snapped before stalking out of the room.

"I told you he was just mad because you could have been killed. He lashes out. It's his defense mechanism." Stiles gave Cas a sad smile.

Cas didn't respond.

"Come on." He motioned for Derek to follow him.

"And I thought we were bad." Derek chuckled.

"It's usually not this bad." Stiles sighed pushing open the door to the weapons room. 

"Here." Stiles handed Derek a silver looking stake.

"It's an angel blade. It kills both angels and demons." Stiles explained.

"Wait, would this have worked when you were-"

"No." Stiles cut Derek off.

"Besides it kills the host as well." Stiles grabbed a clip of bullets from a drawer. 

"Bullets?" Derek frowned.

"For my gun." Their silver bullets with the devils trap engraved into them. It helps us trap demons inside their host so we can interrogate them." Stiles explained as he grabbed a gun from it's case. He loaded the clip into it and handed it to Derek.

"Just in case." 

"I prefer my own methods." Derek frowned at the gun.

"Yeah, well your methods will get you killed if anyone sees." Stiles snapped shoving the gun into Derek's hand.

"Safety. Aim. Squeeze." Stiles gave a quick rundown.

Derek watched as Stiles pulled his own gun from behind him and checked his bullets. It was weird to see him like this. 

"Hey." Sam spoke up in the doorway causing Stiles to jump. 

"Sam." Stiles huffed.

"Ooh, sorry." Sam knocked, giving Stiles a sheepish smile.

Derek grinned at the familiarity of Stiles' reaction.

"A hunter who scares easy." Derek chuckled.

"I wasn't expecting it. It's different on a hunt." Stiles said tucking his gun back into his back.

"Oh good, you got Derek a gun." Sam nodded. "I was coming to suggest it."

"So what's with Dean and Cas?" Stiles asked as he and Derek followed Sam down the hall.

"Since losing his grace, Cas is vulnerable and that doesn't sit well with Dean. He's not used to him being so helpless. I mean, he used to pop in and out of anywhere, he could heal himself, us...Dean doesn't handle loss well, you know that. We almost lost Cas. It shook Dean up. It took us almost a week to find Cas. You saw how Dean handled that." Sam answered.

"Yeah but, don't you think he's being extra hard on him?" Stiles frowned. 

"I do, but Dean will be Dean." Sam shrugged as they opened the garage door to find Cas and Dean silently loading Baby.

"Let's go have tea with the enemy." Dean grinned sarcastically tossing a glare at Cas.

Cas rolled his eyes before climbing into the impala. 

Stiles sighed. This was going to be a long ride.


	5. Taking a risk

It wasn't five minutes into the car ride before Dean was drilling Cas.

"So who are these angels exactly?" 

"They're friends." Cas answered vaguely.

"Do these friends have names?" Dean snapped.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Dean, why can't you just trust me?"

"I do trust you, but I don't trust these friends of yours." Dean snapped.

"The least you know the better. They asked me to come alone. I'm already taking a risk allowing you to go with me. I need them to trust me." Cas answered gruffly.

"You're taking a risk going at all." Dean snapped.

"Okay, let's change the subject shall we?" Sam cut in.

"Fine." Dean snapped. 

"Stiles, Derek, how much did you two actually interact?" Dean asked glancing his rear view mirror.

Derek felt Stiles tense next to him.

"Quite a bit actually. We had several mutual friends." Derek answered.

"But you two weren't friends." 

Stiles could see Dean frowning in the mirror.

Stiles and Derek glanced at each other.

"I wouldn't call it a friendship necessarily." Stiles answered fidgeting slightly.

Derek smirked seeing Stiles fidget. He always did when he was nervous. 

"Then what would you call it?" Dean pressed.

"More of a love hate relationship. We loved to hate each other" Derek piped up.

"You two are awfully civil for two people who hate each other." Dean narrowed his eyes at the pair through the mirror.

"Well we figured you and Cas were fighting enough for the both of us." Stiles sneered. 

Sam chuckled.

"Okay, alright, moving on." Dean huffed.

"Derek, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself." Sam turned the attention to the werewolf.

"What do you want to know?" Derek asked.

"Let's start with your family." Sam suggested.

This time it was Derek's turn to tense.

"Sam, that's kind of a sensitive subject." Stiles said quietly.

"Okay, umm, are you from Beacon Hills?" Sam asked not pushing it.

"Yeah." Derek nodded.

"What brought you to Kansas?" Dean asked glancing back at Derek.

"Just a lot of bad memories there." Derek answered vaguely.

"I understand that." Dean nodded.

"Is this the place?" Dean asked stopping in front of a small diner.

"Yes." Cas nodded.

Everyone climbed out of the car.

"Wait here." Cas spoke seriously. 

"Whoa, excuse me?" Dean snapped.

"They said come alone." Cas huffed.

Dean gave Cas a disbelieving look.

"If I decide to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know." Cas snarked before walking into the diner.

"Can you believe him?" Dean huffed as he started pacing.

Stiles leaned towards Derek. "He's going to charge in there in three, two, and we're going in." Stiles pushed off the car he was leaning on as he followed Sam and Dean to the door.

Suddenly Derek stopped. 

 

"What's wrong?" Stiles asked stopping as well.

"There are more in the alley." Derek said turning to the dark street next to the diner.

"Stiles?" Sam stopped when he realizes Stiles and Derek were no longer following them.

"We'll wait out here." Stiles waved Sam off. 

"How do you know they're angels?" Stiles asked as he followed Derek towards the alley angel blade at the ready.

"They're planning an ambush. One of the angels inside isn't a friend. They're planning to take out Cas and the other angel....Balthazar?" Derek said listening carefully.

"How many are there?" Stiles asked quietly as Derek peered around the corner.

"Three."

"Okay, that's not too bad." Stiles nodded.

"Not too bad? I can't take on three angels." Derek frowned at Stiles.

"You aren't. We are." Stiles went to step passed Derek but Derek put his arm put to stop him.

"You're not going back there." Derek growled.

"Yes, I am." Stiles spoke seriously.

"No, you're going to go inside and tell Dean and Sam what's going on." Derek growled again.

"No, I'm not, I can handle myself Derek." Stiles snapped shoving past Derek.

He heard Derek let out a low growl as he followed Stiles. 

"Okay, you're fast so you sneak up behind the one with his back to us and I'll go for the blonde." Stiles said gripping his angel blade.

Derek wanted to object but he decided against it.

Stiles motioned for Derek to go before rushing towards the other angel.

Derek stuck the blade through the angels back causing bright light to pierce through him. Derek blocked his eyes as the angel fell from his blade.

He looked over to see Stiles fighting against the blonde. Every instinct in his body told him to help Stiles but the last angel was charging towards him. 

Stiles' angel blade blocked the blonde's blade. Stiles took the opportunity to slam her back against the wall. She angrily shoved him back a few steps before swinging at him. Stiles ducked and pierced his angel blade through her stomach. 

He turned to see Derek with his back on the ground and the angel on top of him. Derek was holding the angel blade back with his hands, his having been knocked from his hand. Stiles rushed forward stabbing the angel in his back. 

Derek shoved the dead angel off of him. Stiles reached his hand down to pull Derek up.

"Are you hurt?" Derek asked inspecting Stiles quickly.

"I'm fine." Stiles nodded. 

"Of course he's fine, he's a Winchester." An unfamiliar voice spoke up. Derek turned pushing Stiles behind him.

"Easy there, I'm a friendly angel. Well as friendly as we come." The guy put his hands up.

Derek dropped his stance as he realized Sam and Dean were with the guy.

Dean reached Stiles putting a hand on his cheek turning his head to the left and to the right. "You okay?" Dean asked in his caring brotherly voice as inspected for any wounds.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Cas?" Stiles asked not seeing the fallen angel.

"He's inside. He got hurt." Dean answered his jaw clenching around his words.

"How bad?" Stiles asked worriedly.

"Nothing I couldn't handle." A voice spoke up behind Sam.

"Gabriel?" Stiles smirked in surprise.

"Hey, kiddo, you've grown since I saw you last." Gabriel ruffled Stiles' hair.

"This must be the secret weapon keeper I've heard so much about. My, my, you forgot to mention he was tall, dark and handsome." Gabriel smirked.

Derek stood still as Gabriel approached him. 

"Gabriel, stop flirting. More angels will be on their way." Balthazar spoke up in an annoyed tone.

"Yeah, yeah." Gabriel rolled his eyes before walking away from Derek.

"I like mine taller anyway." Gabriel winked at Sam as he passed him.

Sam glared after the angel.

"We'll be in touch Cas. You keep strong." Gabriel patted him on the shoulder before following Balthazar out of the alley.

"Derek, you okay?" Dean asked looking at the still tense werewolf.

"Yeah." Derek answered simply glancing at Stiles.

"Alright, let's go." Dean ordered gesturing towards the alley entrance.  
He would be glad to get back to the bunker.


	6. Angel radio

Stiles braced for the outburst he knew was coming as they made their way inside the bunker.

Dean walked to the kitchen without a word. Sam and Stiles glanced at each other in confusion.

Dean walked back in holding a beer. He dropped into a chair at the large table in the middle of the room. 

Cas cleared his throat and before he could say anything Dean spoke up.

"Just don't." Dean shook his head not looking up from his beer bottle. 

"I know you're upset Dean, but-"

"Upset?" Dean snapped interrupting Cas.

"I'm not upset, I'm pissed." Dean set his beer down.

"I didn't know Ishmael was setting up a trap." Cas huffed.

"That's just it Cas, you didn't think." Dean glared at the angel.

"Balthazar brought Gabriel as back up, we were fine." Cas sighed trying to reason with Dean.

"Yeah, and while we were inside. These two were fighting off three angels by themselves. Where was Gabriel then? He told you he wanted nothing but Ishmael dead. That's the only reason he was there. He would have let the other angels kill you so long as he got what he wanted." Dean was shouting.

"Oh and by the way, are you two stupid? Two against three? Derek, they are after you. You two should have come and gotten us." Dean snapped at Stiles and Derek.

"We handled it just fine." Stiles rolled his eyes.

"Derek is a human with no hunting training. You're lucky he didn't get killed, or worse, taken." Dean pressed his fingers to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You know I can handle myself, Dean, what's this really about?" Stiles frowned. 

"It's about you all being careless." Dean snapped. 

"Take it out on me, leave them out of it. You're mad at me, not them." Cas walked over to Dean.

Suddenly Cas was on his knees gripping his head.

"Cas?" Dean, Sam and Stiles rushed towards him all at once.

"I'm okay, it's just angel radio, they know about the diner and they're angry." Cas dismissed the brothers.

"Cas, you lost your grace. You shouldn't be able to hear angel radio." Sam frowned.

Dean turned to Cas with accusing eyes.

"Gabriel, he forced me to take Ishmaels grace before he killed him." Cas explained looking embarrassed.

"So your back?" Sam asked.

"Not quite. It will fade over time. Gabriel and Balthazar think I'm the only one who can restore heaven to the way it was, or at the very least get the gates back open. They are going to find my grace. According to the angels Metatron sent one of his closest allies to stash the rest of my grace in a library." Cas explained.

"I thought it was gone?" Stiles frowned. 

"He only needed some of my grace not all of it. But he took all of it because he fears me, or so they say." Cas answered.

"So what are they gonna do scour every library until they find it?" Dean huffed.

"No, they said they're going to find the angel who knows where it is." Cas looked at Dean.

Dean only gave a simple nod. 

"Well I say we all get some sleep and we can figure out more about this box tomorrow." Sam suggested, sensing the awkwardness that often came with Cas and Dean's silence after an altercation. 

-

Derek paced the unfamiliar room. He had so many things he wanted to ask Stiles, so many things he wanted to tell Stiles. But he felt like Stiles was keeping him at a distance. Treating him like a job. It was all business between them it seemed. Derek wasn't one to talk about his feelings but he wanted to know why. He and Stiles had grown quite close before he left Beacon Hills. They always paired together when the pack had to split up. Stiles always made sure Derek was okay, and Derek always made sure Stiles was safe. Now it was like they were strangers. It had only been a year since they saw each other last.

Stiles set his laptop aside and ran his hands over his face. He couldn't concentrate knowing Derek was across the hall. It had been a year since he'd seen him. He didn't realize how much he missed him until he saw him standing between his brothers. They had never claimed to be close but it was like they had an unspoken bond.   
Stiles grinned as he recalled a favorite memory between him and Derek.

"Stiles, where the hell are you?" Derek growled into the phone.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had to get out of there, it was full of savages." Stiles spoke calmly.

"What the hell are you talking about Stiles?" Derek snapped.

"Yeah, I'll be home later. Gotta wait for those savages to clear out." Stiles said before hanging up.

"Well?" Gerard asked. 

"They don't suspect a thing." Stiles lied. He hoped Derek understood what he was trying to say.

Derek hadn't understood what he'd been trying to say.

"Took you long enough." Stiles huffed as Derek untied him.

"You could have just told me he had you." Derek growled.

"He was standing right here. I was trying to avoid him breaking my whole face. Besides I made it very clear." Stiles huffed. 

"Clear? How on earth was that clear?" Derek growled again.

"You called Gerard a savage and said everyone that worked with him were savages. I said I left because there were savages. I specifically used the word savages twice." Stiles scoffed.

"Stiles, next time you decide to use a code word..." Derek took a deep breath. "Make sure I know it too." He snapped.

Stiles pushed the memory from his head and layed back on his bed. "Unspoken indeed." Stiles sighed closing his eyes.


	7. Coffee

Derek walked into the kitchen of the bunker. He hesitated when he saw Dean already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Derek, hey, there's more coffee if you want some." Dean said looking up from his own steaming cup.

Derek only nodded as he poured himself a cup. He'd had a restless sleep. It had been riddled with memories of him and Stiles. 

"You look beat." Dean noted as Derek hesitantly took a seat across from Dean.

"So do you." Derek responded simply. 

"Touché." Dean chuckled.

Derek was thankful for the silence that followed. Dean didn't feel the need to fill silence with small talk and that was something Derek appreciated.

After a few moments of comfortable silence Dean spoke up.

"You don't trust us do you?" Dean asked casually. He didn't want Derek to feel like saying no would result in a fight.

Derek glanced down at his coffee.  
"I had planned to take off in the middle of the night when you said you were bringing me here. But I walked in and..." Derek paused.

Dean cocked his head slightly.

"Stiles." Dean guessed.

Derek only nodded with a frown embedded into his brows.

"You said you and Stiles had a love hate relationship; you loved to hate each other, but I couldn't help but notice how concerned you were for Stiles' well being after fighting those dickbags in the alley." Dean glanced up at Derek who kept his frown in place.

"We may not get along all the time or most of the time for that matter, but I don't want him dead. He was a part of my-" Derek cut himself off clenching his teeth. He couldn't tell Dean Stiles was part of his pack, Dean would surely kill him.

"You were going to say family weren't you?" Dean asked giving Derek a look that said he understood. 

"I don't trust many people. Stiles was one of the few." Derek answered simply.

"Don't tell him I said that." Derek added jokingly.

Dean smirked.

"So to answer your question, Stiles trusts you and your his family so I know you won't hurt him. And I trust Stiles." Derek took a sip of his coffee.

"Stiles never talks about Beacon Hills. He always says it was a lie he was living and he didn't want any part of it. Sam thinks Stiles misses it, maybe his friends, maybe living a normal life. The look on his face when he saw you was like a ghost had walked in." Dean said looking down at his coffee.

"Doesn't he hunt ghosts?" Derek raised a brow.

"Bad analogy." Dean chuckled earning a smile from Derek.

"Stiles is surprisingly distrusting. I don't know if you noticed." 

"Oh I did." Derek snorted.

"You made it through his selection process. I don't know the exact relationship you two have, or had, but if Stiles trusts you then so do I. But so help me If you ever so much as think about hurting my little brother, Angels will be the least of your worries." Dean looked at Derek seriously.

"I'd expect nothing less. But I want you to know, I will do anything to protect Stiles even if that means giving the angels what they want." Derek looked at Dean equally as serious.

Dean narrowed his eyes questioningly. "You have feeling for him don't you?"

Derek tensed. "What? No." 

"So you'd do the same thing for anyone you considered family." Dean crossed his arms.

"Of course." Derek nodded.

"Stiles said family was a sensitive subject for you." Dean recalled the car ride to the diner the night before.

"Isn't it for you?" Derek asked looking at Dean simply.

Dean's jaw set. "Stiles, Sam and Cas are my family." Dean growled. 

"Stiles is the only family I have left." Derek said in a tone that made it clear he was done with this conversation.

Dean's look softened. Derek really was guarded, and for good reason.

At that moment Stiles walked in with a pencil tucked behind his ear and a pen in his mouth. He was staring down at a notebook in his hand. He walked to the coffee pot and started to pour himself a cup. He looked up realizing the coffee maker was empty.  
He huffed as he pulled the pen from his mouth. 

"Dean, did you drink my cup of coffee?" Stiles called not realizing Dean and Derek were behind him.

"Nope, that would be Derek." Dean answered eyeing the werewolf suspiciously. He could see the smile Derek was holding back as he watched Stiles.

 

There was no way Derek didn't have feelings for Stiles. If anyone was familiar with unrequited love, it was Dean.


	8. I need you to know

Stiles frowned at the pair sitting at the table. "What are you two doing?" 

"Bonding over coffee, what does it look like?" Dean smiled.

"You don't do "bonding"." Stiles frowned at his brother. 

"And neither do you for that matter." Stiles turned his frown to Derek.

Derek looked at the notebook in Stiles' hand. "Getting anywhere?" 

Stiles looked down at his notes. 

"I might have located Crowley." Stiles bit at his bottom lip.

"Then why don't you seem happier about that?" Dean asked with a frown. Any time Stiles made a discovery or fit a piece of the puzzle together he was overly eager to share.

"Because if I'm right...He might be helping Ramiel." Stiles sighed.

"What makes you think that?" Dean asked.

"A few of Crowley's demons have been seen standing guard outside Ramiel's property." Stiles answered. He tossed his notebook on the counter before making up another pot of coffee.

"You think Ramiel has Crowley under his protection?" Dean frowned. That seemed unlikely.

"I don't know. Crowley hates Lucifer, I can't imagine he'd be helping free him again, especially cause that would cause him to lose his place as king of hell." Stiles shook his head.

"The time we hunted his hellhound together he told me there were three things he didn't like getting involved with. Angels, Lucifer and us Winchesters. If he's helping Ramiel-"

"He's getting involved with all three." Stiles cut in nodding.

"Okay, I'm sorry but, you know the king of hell?" Derek looked at Dean then back at Stiles.

"It's complicated." Stiles shrugged.

"Yeah, a lot of your life seems to be." Derek snapped.

"Look, I'm sorry I made you think I was somebody else." Stiles huffed. 

"Me too." Derek answered, his tone lower than before. 

Derek sat his empty cup in the sink before walking out of the kitchen.

"Derek, wait." Stiles took a couple steps after the werewolf but stopped when he saw Derek wasn't going to listen.

Stiles let out a heavy sigh. "He can be so frustrating sometimes." 

"Don't be too hard on him. It's a lot to take in. Angels, demons, monsters, all of it didn't exist a few days ago. Then he gets dropped into the middle of it and finds out someone he thought he knew was already in the middle of it." Dean gave Stiles a sympathetic smile.

"Of course you'd be on his side." Stiles rolled his eyes. 

"I'm just saying, give him time." Dean said standing. 

Stiles watched Dean walk out of the kitchen. If he only knew Derek he'd know this wasn't a matter of adjusting it was a matter of trust. 

-

Derek sat on his bed his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together in front of him. 

The comment Dean made about Derek having feelings for Stiles had really bothered him. What made Dean think that? What had Derek done or said?

"Derek?" Stiles' voice sounded on the other side of his door along with a light knock.

Derek didn't respond. He wasn't sure if he was in the mindset to talk to Stiles.

"You don't have to let me in but I know you can hear me." Stiles' voice was quiet but Derek heard him as if he was right next to his ear.

"You probably don't want to hear it but, I need you to know... I'm sorry I didn't tell you who I really was. I didn't want anyone to know. I was trying to put that part of my life behind me. I guess you can take the hunter out of hunting but you can't take the hunting out of a hunter. I didn't want you or Scott or Lydia or Malia to be afraid of me. I would never hurt any of you. The way you treated Allison once she got into hunting, I knew, I couldn't bare to have you look at me the way you did her, to hate me the way you did her. I know I'm not an argent and to you they are the worst but...you don't know the things my brothers and I have done. Dean kills without question. Sam likes to get all the facts first. I'm a little bit of both. I'll admit I wanted you dead the first few times. If I'd had my gun or anything I probably would have tried especially when we thought you bit Scott. But you showed me that not all monsters do monstrous things. In fact you weren't a monster at all. It was hard at first...you and I...we kept ending up together in these impossible situations. The wolfsbane bullet, The pool, Peter trying to kill me, Isaac trying to kill me. I don't know why I strived so hard to save you when you got shot. I could have let you die. I thought about it a couple times but...it Just didn't feel right. I knew Dean would have let you die. Sam would probably have tried to help but ultimately your demise wouldn't have mattered to him. But for some reason when I put you in my jeep, I had this...responsibility to help you. Saving people, hunting things, the family business. I couldn't decide if you were the one I was meant to save or hunt. And as much as we hated each other I couldn't let you die. After a while I felt like I was...this is gonna sound stupid but, I felt like I was part of your pack. I would have done anything necessary to protect you, Scott, Allison, Malia, Lydia, Issac, hell even Ethan and Aiden at the end there. When Allison became a hunter I was ready to to fight her off if necessary. I saw the way you hated her. It devastated me to know you would feel that way about me if you ever found out who I really was. When I saw you walk in to the bunker with my brothers. I was surprised at first and then I was pissed but then I was terrified. Terrified that you would hate me and terrified that my brothers would kill you on the spot. The look in your eyes when I told you they were my brothers. The betrayal in your tone. It was subtle but I know you, Derek. Trust isn't something you do easily. I know I've lost your trust but I promise you that no matter what or who I have to fight, I'll always protect my alpha." 

Derek squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to tell Stiles that despite everything, he still trusted him but he wasn't ready to face that yet. He had so much he wanted to tell Stiles but he wasn't sure he could not without someone getting hurt.

Stiles closed himself in his room and laid back on the bed. He knew Derek was pissed at him for lying. Stiles was equally pissed at Derek for taking off from Beacon Hills without so much as a word. But he needed Derek to know that nothing changed how Stiles felt about him, even if it changed how Derek felt.


	9. GPS

Stiles woke up and glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning. He must have fallen asleep and slept all day. He wasn't surprised, after all he hadn't slept the night before.

He sat up and saw a folded sheet of paper fall from his chest. Frowning, Stiles opened the paper.

Stiles,  
       I know I should be telling you this in person but, I couldn't let you talk me out of it. I'm going to find Peter. Maybe he'll know what this box is. I appreciate you and your brothers trying to protect me but, I need to do this alone. If I find out whatever this box is, I'll be sure to call. If you find it first, let me know my life isn't on the line anymore. Good luck on your hunting.    - Derek

Stiles gripped the paper harshly as he grabbed for his phone. He dialed Derek's number and waited. 

"Derek Hale leave a message and I'll decide if I'm gonna call you back."

"Damn it Derek, answer your phone." Stiles snapped angrily before hanging up and dialing again.

His voicemail picked up again. "Derek Hale I swear to god, I'm going to kill you when I find you. Call me now." 

Stiles shoved his phone into his pocket before stomping into the main room.

"Stiles? Is something wrong?" Cas frowned looking up from a men of letters record book. 

"Derek left." Stiles snapped holding up the note Derek had written. He opened Sam's computer.

"I'll get Sam and Dean." Cas nodded.

Stiles didn't respond as he typed furiously on the laptop keys.

"Stiles, what's going on? Cas said Derek left." Dean asked walking into the main room with Sam behind him, both looked half asleep but were dressed and already armed. 

Stiles held out the note as he stared intently at the computer.

Dean opened the letter, Sam and Cas read over his shoulder.

"Who's Peter?" Sam asked.

"His uncle." Stiles answered.

"He said he didn't have any family left." Dean frowned.

"Trust me he's not family." Stiles responded.

"What are you doing?" Dean looked at the laptop.

"I turned the GPS on on his phone yesterday. I'm tracking him." Stiles answered.

"Smart move little brother." Dean patted Stiles' back.

"I knew it would be necessary. Derek's known to be a flight risk at times." Stiles tapped impatiently. 

"Oh shit." Stiles swore. 

"He's at Crowleys Demon bar." Sam frowned.

"If demons have him..." Cas paused with a frown of his own. 

"It won't be long before Ramiel does." Stiles finished between grit teeth.

-

Derek fell to the ground, the demon holding an angel blade above him. Derek tried to heal but the wounds the angel blade had made weren't cooperating. He managed to roll away before the demon thrust the blade towards him.

"No, don't kill him. Ramiel wants him alive." Another demon spoke up. 

"He killed four of us." The first demon objected.

"Ramiel will kill you if you kill him." The second demon responded.

"You think he'll reward us?" The first asked hopefully.

"He has to." The second grinned at Derek.

"Don't worry, neither of you will live long enough to find out." A voice that Derek knew well spoke from behind the demons.

Stiles squeezed the trigger of his gun. The bullet soared right into the second demons head. The first demon lunged at Stiles but Stiles already had his angel blade out and sunk it into the demons chest. 

"Derek, are you okay?" Sam asked helping the werewolf to his feet.

"Yeah, just a few light scratches. I'll heal." Derek nodded. His eyes met Stiles'. He looked equally pissed and concerned. 

"You think he'll talk?" Dean asked kicking at the demons foot.

"If not I'll kill him." Stiles growled yanking the demon so he was face to face with him.

"What is Ramiel after?" Stiles snapped.

"I'm not gonna tell you anything." The Demon hissed. 

"Where's Crowley?" Stiles demanded.

"Nowhere you'll find him." The Demon laughed.

"You know I don't think I caught your name, what was it?" Stiles asked cocking his head slightly.

"Devon." The Demon grinned.

"Devon. Okay. Well, Devon, I'm gonna tell you how this works. See my brother over there?" Stiles gestured towards Dean.

"His name is Dean, you might have heard of him, well you see he and Crowley have an understanding and if he's not abiding by the terms of said understanding Dean's gonna be pissed. And since Crowley isn't here, Dean likes to take his frustration out on any Demons he comes across. And Alistair himself taught Dean how to torture so if you don't give us the answers we want, Dean will force them out of you." Stiles smiled innocently.

Devon looked suddenly very nervous.

"So I want to know if Crowley is working with Ramiel." Stiles growled.

"He's not, he's-he's Ramiel's prisoner. He knows too much about Ramiel's plan." Devon answered.

"What plan?" Stiles asked.

"The plan to release Lucifer." Devon swallowed.

"We know that, but how?" Stiles growled, he was getting impatient. 

"I don't know. He doesn't tell us anything. Only that there is a box that will help him." Devon looked over at Derek. "He has the box." 

"Is Crowley being kept at Ramiel's house?" Stiles demanded.

"I-I don't know. There are rumors he is and there are rumors that Asmodeous has him locked in hell." Devon shook his head.

"Well Devon, you've been of little use but you were cooperative so I'll show mercy." Stiles stood.

"You're letting me go?" Devon asked in disbelief.

"Of course not, I'll just make Dean give you a swift death." Stiles smiled.

"You and Crowleys little relationship is cute but do you really think he'll stay loyal once he finds out your slutting around with your little angel again?" Devon sneered at Dean. 

Dean's calm stance suddenly went rigid. He spun his angel blade is his palm before throwing it expertly into the demons chest.

"Remind me not to piss him off." Derek chuckled to Sam who grinned back.

"There's a hotel down the road." Dean said stifling a yawn.

"It's too dangerous, we need to get back to the bunker before someone finds out what happened and sends reinforcements." Stiles shook his head.

"Fine but you're driving." Dean handed the keys to Stiles. 

Sam threw his hands up. You let him drive and not me?" 

"Oh, quit your whining." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Derek, you take shotgun, you're cut up pretty bad." Sam gestured to the front passengers side door.

The five of them rode silently until Sam, Dean and Cas fell asleep in the back seat.

"How did you find me?" Derek asked.

"GPS." Stiles answered bluntly.

"I don't have it turned on on my phone." Derek frowned.

Stiles didn't respond, now was not the time to start that argument.


	10. You're full of shit, Hale

Stiles stormed inside the bunker with Derek behind him.

"Stiles, wait, can we talk about this?" Derek asked as Stiles started to walk out of the main room.

"There's nothing to talk about." Stiles answered bluntly. 

"How about the fact that you turned the GPS on on my phone without telling me." Derek crossed his arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry that me doing that saved your life." Stiles snapped.

"You could have told me." Derek huffed.

"Why so you could turn it off when you decided to take off?" Stiles snapped again. 

"How did you know I'd leave?" Derek frowned.

"Because that's what you do, Derek, you disappear without a word. " Stiles shouted. 

"Look, you know I'm better off alone, no one gets hurt." Derek sighed.

"That's just it, you don't care if something happens to you, but you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. Death doesn't happen to you, Derek, it happens to those around you." Stiles growled.

"If I'm alone, there's no one to get hurt." Derek said his voice quieter.

"You're wrong. You left and didn't tell anyone where you were going or if you would be back. We didn't know if you were hurt or dead. And you couldn't be bothered to call or text. I tried for weeks, Derek. I thought you were dead. Then we find out from Peter you were in New York. I was relieved to know you were okay but Damn it, it still hurt!" Stiles was yelling.

Derek frowned. "I didn't think you actually cared. I just thought you needed me cause of Scott."

"I did need you, but not because of Scott." Stiles responded his tone full of  sincerity and betrayal.

Derek didn't know how to respond. 

"I get that you'd rather be alone than be here with me, but you are wanted by every angel and demon, and so long as that's the case you aren't leaving my sight. I don't care if I have to drag your ass to the vet and get you microchipped." Stiles snapped. 

Derek frowned slightly at the dog joke.

"I didn't realize me leaving bothered you so much."

"How could you? You never called." Stiles snapped.

"I'm sorry." Derek said quietly.

"No you're not, Derek. You and I both know you're not." Stiles sneered.

Derek clenched his jaw.

"Damn it Stiles, what do you want me to say?" Derek barked.

"I want you to tell me why you left!" Stiles yelled. 

"You know why." Derek growled.

"No, I don't." Stiles argued. "Is it because of Allison and Aiden?" Stiles asked frowning.

"No." Derek shook his head.

"Because of me? Cause I know it wasn't Scott or Lydia." Stiles took a step forward.

"I just do better when I'm alone." Derek huffed.

"Bullshit. You left for a reason. I'm gonna guess it's the same reason you left tonight, and the only common denominator is me. I know we aren't exactly friends but am I really so bad?" Stiles demanded he took another step towards Derek.

"You know what? You're right, I did leave because of you." Derek snapped.

Stiles felt his heart drop.

"Because I refuse to be the reason you get hurt. Everytime I turned around you were in the middle of my mess. Now a year later and you're caught up in the middle again. I can't lose you Stiles. You're the only family I have left. And I'd rather never see you again and know you're alive then be afraid of you getting hurt." Derek continued.

Stiles narrowed his eyes. "You're full of shit, Hale. But whatever, your secrets are yours to keep. As soon as we know you're not in danger anymore, you never have to see me again." Stiles snapped before stalking out of the room.

Derek let out an aggravated growl.

"Why didn't he believe you?" Sam frowned. 

"Stiles and I had a complicated relationship." Derek sighed.

"Complicated in the sense that you kept him at a distance because of your feelings for him?" Dean asked raising a brow.

Derek tensed. "No, complicated in the sense that we kept each other at a distance cause we both have trust issues. I don't have feelings for Stiles." Derek spoke between clenched teeth.

"Hey, whatever, your secrets are yours to keep." Dean shrugged with a grin.

"I don't." Derek insisted.

"Dean." Sam gave his brother a look that said to let it go.

"I'm just saying, you should tell him." Dean shrugged again.

"Do you ever take your own advice?" Derek asked tossing a glance at an oblivious Cas.

It was Dean's turn to tense.

Derek raised his brows at Dean who set his jaw.

 

"I'm gonna go check on Stiles." He stomped out of the room.

Sam chuckled shaking his head. Derek really fit in perfectly with all of them. He just hoped Derek and Stiles could work through their issues cause he could see Derek being a part of their little family.


	11. Your pack

Derek stepped towards Stiles causing Stiles to back into the wall behind him. Derek could hear his heart racing. Stiles swallowed nervously. Derek stepped in closer to Stiles.

"Wh-what are you doing Derek?" Stiles asked biting at his bottom lip.

"You wanted me to tell you why I left." Derek looked into Stiles' whiskey brown eyes. 

Stiles only nodded.

"I wasn't lying when I said it was because of you." Derek leaned a little closer. He slid his hand gently around Stiles' waist pulling him into the werewolf's chest. 

Stiles' breath hitched. 

Derek's eyes dropped to Stiles' slightly parted lips.

"I wanted you but I couldn't have you." Derek leaned in waiting for Stiles to push him away. But Derek's lips connected with Stiles'.  Derek reached up placing his other hand on Stiles' cheek. 

"Derek." Stiles spoke into Derek's mouth.

"What's wrong?" Derek pulled back,  sensing Stiles' demeanor had changed.

"You don't really think I'd have feelings for you, do you?" Stiles asked gently.

Derek frowned.

"You're a werewolf, I'm a hunter. You and I are never gonna happen." Stiles shook his head as he pushed past Derek.

Derek suddenly shot up in bed his eyes bright red. He panted heavily. It was just a dream. Why was he dreaming about kissing Stiles? And why did he feel so sad about Stiles' rejection?

"Damn it." Derek swore under his breath. He knew why but he'd told himself months and months ago he didn't have feelings for Stiles anymore. But he knew that wasn't true the moment he saw him again.

Derek looked up to see where the sound of breaking glass came from. His heart skipped and his eyes widened.

"Derek?" His name never sounded sweeter. 

"Stiles?" He couldn't believe it was actually him.

"You two know each other?" Dean asked. 

"We crossed paths a time or two back in Beacon Hills." Stiles answered stiffly. He looked nervous and smelled like fear. Derek didn't understand why.

"Well I hope you guys were friendly cause he's staying here until the foreseeable future." Dean patted Derek's shoulder but Derek didn't look away from the guy he'd left behind a year ago. He had changed a lot in that year. He looked older and more chiseled.

"What? Why?" Stiles asked, he sounded horrified by the idea. Was he? Derek hoped not. The idea stung.

Stiles ran a hand through his hair. "And you're okay with him staying here?" Stiles asked. Derek frowned slightly as the fear in Stiles grew. He inspected how different Stiles smelt but yet how familiar he smelt. It reminded him of Beacon Hills. Wait why was Stiles here? Why wasn't he in Beacon Hills?

"How do you know these guys?" Derek asked gesturing to Sam and Dean. Was Stiles in trouble? Were they protecting him too? 

Stiles shifted slightly. "Uh...they...are...my brothers." Stiles bit at his bottom lip.

Derek felt his heart drop.

"You're a hunter." Derek nodded. He tried to hide the betrayal in his tone.

"Yeah." Stiles answered dropping his eyes. 

Derek suddenly felt angry.

"Family business huh?" Derek narrowed his eyes. Stiles had lied to him. He'd told everyone he got into a fight with his dad about not wanting to be a part of the family business and that was why he'd moved to beacon hills. 

"Yep, saving people, hunting things, the family business." Dean spoke up but Derek still didn't look away from Stiles.

"I would have told you but I didn't know how you would react." Stiles ran his hand along the back of his neck.

"Right." Derek gave a nod. He was in no mood to talk more about this. He'd fallen for a hunter, again. Derek felt confused. He was thrilled to see Stiles, pissed at Stiles and hurt by Stiles, all at the same time.

"Wait, did you two date?" Dean asked catching Derek's attention.

"Definitely not." Derek was relieved Stiles had answered as well.

"Were you friends?" Sam asked.

Stiles and Derek glanced at each other. It was obvious they weren't sure.

"You two slept together didn't you?" Dean smirked. 

Derek jerked his head towards Dean. "What?" Had he heard him right? Did he just assume he and Stiles had slept together? Derek wouldn't deny he had thought of Stiles in that way but he'd never acted on those thoughts.

"No." Stiles huffed.

"There's a weird tension between them, I'm just curious." Dean said.

He was right there was a weird tension between them and Derek didn't know if it was cause, they hadn't seen each other in a year, Stiles had revealed he was a hunter, or they were both confused about how they felt about this reunion. 

Derek let out a heavy sigh. He didn't know if he could do this. Not only be around Stiles but live under the same roof as him.

Derek made his way to the main room. He'd seen a few books that caught his eye earlier maybe he could distract himself with one of them.

-

Cas set the file he'd just searched through aside when he heard someone walk in.

"Derek. Having trouble sleeping?" Cas asked looking at the stressed looking guy in front of him.

"Uh, yeah." Derek nodded. "You too?" 

"Angels don't need sleep." Cas shook his head.

"Must be convenient." Derek said taking a seat across from the angel.

"I will say sleep is very inconvenient, as is urinating." Cas nodded with a thoughtful frown.

Derek chuckled.

"You seem uneasy, did you have a bad dream? I've had several of them, they are quite horrible." Cas looked at Derek with genuine concern.

"Uh, yeah, kind of." Derek shrugged.

"Did it have anything to do with Stiles?" Cas asked gently. 

Derek stiffened. 

Cas hummed. "I thought it might." 

Derek didn't respond. He wasn't sure how. 

"Dean thinks you might be attracted to Stiles in a romantic way, is he right?" Cas pressed carefully.

"No. We're just..." Derek frowned. Could they even be considered friends?

"Family?" Cas asked. "You said he was the only family you have left but Stiles mentioned an uncle." 

"Peter." Derek nodded. "I don't consider him family. I don't trust him."

"No parents or siblings?" Cas frowned.

"No." Derek answered bluntly. He wasn't in the mood to talk about what happened to his family.

"What about your other friends? In Beacon Hills?" Cas pressed again.

"I left. They didn't need me. Scott took my place." Derek shrugged almost sadly.

"Stiles would disagree. He seems upset that you left." Cas studied Derek carefully.

"He had Scott, Lydia and Malia." Derek shrugged. Stiles couldn't have cared that much.

"It must have been hard to leave your pack." Cas spoke simply.

"What?" Derek asked suddenly nervous.

"Your pack. You're an alpha. You keep saying they had Scott. Was he an alpha too?" Cas asked innocently.

Derek was frozen. How did he know?

"Oh, don't worry, I won't say a word to Sam or Dean, they tend to be less understanding about this sort of thing. Honestly I'm pleased to see you and Stiles so close. He obviously knows and chooses to protect you." Cas smiled at Derek.

"How did you know?" Derek frowned, his voice quiet.

"I'm an angel, I can sense when someone isn't human." Cas winked before grabbing a file off the stack.

"I get the feeling you won't be doing much talking so you can help me go through these files and try to find something that will help us kill a prince of hell." Cas laid a file in front of Derek. 

Derek felt relieved that Cas wouldn't say anything. He just hoped Cas could be trusted.


	12. Honest

Cas watched as his favorite hunter sat across from him with a large cup of coffee. He smiled fondly.

"Good morning, Dean." 

"Hey, Cas." Dean gave a nod.

Cas always loved early morning Dean. He was still half asleep and looked less stressed. 

"Look, I want to apologize for getting pissed about the diner the other night. I know you were just trying to help." Dean sighed setting down his cup.

"I was trying to make up for everything else." Cas spoke sadly looking down at the file in front of him.

"I know, and that's my fault. I made you feel like you had to fix everything. You made a mistake, I get it. We've all done that, but you could have been killed. I've lost too many people, Cas, I can't lose you too." Dean's tone was full of concern. 

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." Cas frowned.

"Just promise me you aren't gonna do anything else risky without us. If we hadn't been there the other night...I don't want to think about what might have happened." Dean looked at Cas with a slight frown.

"I promise, Dean." Cas agreed. 

Dean nodded, satisfied with his response.

Just then Cas looked up to see Derek and Stiles walking in. Derek looked stressed and Stiles looked pissed.

"Hey, you two." Dean smirked at the pair.

"Is something wrong?" Cas frowned. 

"Nope." Stiles answered shortly. 

Derek rolled his eyes.

"Riiiight." Dean raised his brows at Stiles.

"Let's ask Dean what he thinks." Derek said to Stiles.

"No, Derek, it's not happening." Stiles snapped. 

"What's not happening?" Dean asked looking at Derek.

"I want to meet up with Peter. He might have an idea about what this box could be." Derek explained.

"Peter, the uncle you don't consider family." Cas recalled the name.

"Yeah, because he's a psycho lunatic." Stiles cut in before Derek could respond.

"He's nothing I can't handle." Derek crossed his arms.

"He can't be trusted." Stiles snapped.

"He's lied to me less than you have." Derek growled.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Seriously? He murdered your sister, Derek. I hid the fact that I was a hunter. You're really gonna put us in the same category?" 

"Murdered your sister?" Dean frowned cutting in.

"It was over the family estate, he's clinically insane." Stiles answered dismissively.

"I trusted you." Derek growled.

"I'm still me." Stiles threw his hands up.

"No, you're not. The Stiles I knew wouldn't keep me hostage. The Stiles I knew would trust that I could handle myself. The Stiles I knew would have known how important that kind of information was to me. The Stiles I knew would have been honest with me." Derek was practically yelling now.

"Honest? You want honest? Fine, my mom was burned to death by a fire when I was an infant. Sam was 4, it happened in our room by a demon. Our dad was a shit dad and forced us the grow up in this life. I hated hunting. Sam left at one point. Dean was forced to raise Sam and I. Anyone that has ever associated with a 'Winchester' hasn't lived to talk about it. People die around us. So when Sam and Dean decided I deserved a new life away from hunting and sent me to Beacon Hills, I promised no one would ever be hurt because of who I was. I wasn't lying to you, Derek, I was protecting you." Stiles was yelling now as well.

"And you're not a hostage, but I refuse to have your blood on my hands. So if you go, I go with you, whether you hate me or not." Stiles was standing incredibly close to Derek now.

 

Derek's eyes glanced at Stiles' lips briefly. The image from last night's dream popped into his head.

"I don't hate you, Stiles." Derek backed away.

"I just don't know if I can trust you." Derek turned then and disappeared down the hall.

Stiles let out a heavy sigh.

"That was intense." Dean commented as Stiles plopped down into the chair next to him.

"That's a typical conversation for us. I told you our relationship was complicated." Stiles groaned.

"It seems to me like you two have some sexual tension going on. Are you sure you two didn't screw?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"No, we didn't 'screw'." Stiles snapped.

"Maybe you should." Dean shrugged suggestively.

Stiles rolled his eyes.

"Seriously though, I think Derek is into you. Why else would he be so upset about you lying to him?" Dean said.

"You don't know Derek. There are two things that are important to him. Trust and Family. It took a long time for him to trust me, but when he did, it was completely. I've pretty royally screwed that up." Stiles sighed.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Dean asked.

Stiles scoffed. "For Derek? Yeah right."

"Really? None?" Dean pressed.

"Not even a little bit." Stiles shook his head.

"He's pretty hot." Dean pointed out.

"Dean, no, just, no." Stiles huffed.

Derek dropped his head as he listened to Stiles admit that he didn't have feelings for him. 

 

He'd always known it was unlikely but now he knew for certain and that hurt. That hurt worse than he ever imagined it would.


	13. You're important to Stiles

Derek lowered his body to the ground before pushing himself back up. Sometimes exercise would help him to clear his mind.

"Hey, Derek, you got a minute?" Sam's voice asked, causing Derek to stop mid push up.

Derek stood up and gestured for Sam to come in. Derek hadn't realized how tall Sam was. He wasn't short and Sam had a good three to four inches on him.

"I was in the kitchen a minute ago and heard the argument between you and Stiles. I agree with you. If you think this Peter might know something, it can't hurt to ask. We don't have any other leads and according to Cas, the angels don't know what this box is or where it is." Sam spoke taking a seat on the edge of Derek's bed.

"Good, I'll-"

"But." Sam cut in.

"You have to take Stiles with you. It's just for safety precautions. We don't need you getting ambushed by demons again, or worse, angels." 

"That sentence is so backwards." Derek shook his head.

"I know it's a lot to take in. But what Stiles said is true, we'll do anything we have to to keep you safe. Especially because it's clear you're important to Stiles and I don't think he'd ever forgive himself if something happened to you. Whatever complicated relationship you two had, it meant something to both of you. I understand you being upset about Stiles lying to you but you know he's the same Stiles just with a different last name." Sam spoke sincerely.

"You don't understand. He was this crazy, spazzy, clumsy guy who was nervous around blood. He talked too much. I couldn't imagine him holding a gun much less using one. He was incredibly smart but in a logical way. I didn't think he even realized how smart he was. Now I find out he's this badass hunter that hangs out with the king of hell and and angels. He knows his way around a gun better than better than I do my own house. He's not clumsy or squimish. He doesn't need me-." Derek cut himself off as he realized what he had just said.

Sam raised his brows at Derek. "So that's what this is about. You think Stiles doesn't need you anymore and that bothers you." 

Derek glared at the floor in silence.

 

"Derek, it's okay. Dean and I went through that too, once he was good enough to go on hunts alone It took us a while to accept the fact that he could take care of himself. Dean still struggles with that sometimes." Sam said sympathetically.

Dereks glare didn't look up from the floor. "If he ever needed help with anything he called me. When he ran into trouble I was there to pull him out. I was always the one to be there and he always needed me. But now...now I realize it was all an act."

"What kind of trouble?" Sam frowned.

Derek tensed. 

"Derek, what don't I know?" Sam asked sternly.

"There was this guy who was taking revenge on a bunch of people. Stiles ended up in the middle of it cause he was staying with the sheriff and Stiles doesn't know how to leave things alone. He's actually the one who figured out who it was. Anyway, things got bad a few times and it was always me and Stiles. He made me feel like he couldn't do it without me but...He could have." Derek sighed.

"Derek, I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Stiles always turned to you cause he could trust you to have his back. Stiles isn't one to ask for help. If he made you think he needed you it's cause he did. He needed your support,  your trust. He knew he could rely on you. Stiles doesn't need backup, he wants it. Whether you like it or not, you're important to Stiles. And I know this for a fact because not once did your name ever come up when he talked about Beacon Hills. He's a lot like Dean, as in he doesn't talk about things that are important to him. He said you left Beacon Hills. That probably killed him. So no he couldn't have done it without you." Sam gave Derek a sympathetic look.

"Stiles is worried that he lost your trust completely. I understand if you're cautious, I would expect nothing less from Dean or Stiles. Just try not to be too hard on him. The whole Beacon Hills thing has thrown him off. He's been in a weird place since he got back. I can't quite figure out what it is and Dean likes to pretend nothing is wrong. He doesn't handle it well when Stiles or I are out of sorts. Maybe you being here will help him."

Before Derek could respond Stiles turned the corner.

"Uh, hey Sam." Stiles frowned slightly at his brother.

"Hey, Stiles, I was just telling Derek that you and him are gonna go talk to that Peter guy." Sam smiled standing.

Derek looked at Stiles. He had changed so much in the last year but yet he looked the same. He was a little more built, he had stubble on his face but his eyes were still the whiskey Brown he'd grown to love. He still had a great smile and even his scowl was the same. Derek knew that as much as he was mad at Stiles, nothing would change the way he felt about the hunter. 

 

"Oh, great, should I go ahead and kill myself now or wait for Peter to do it?" Stiles asked sarcastically.

Derek held back a smirk as he stood.  
"I think I'm more worried about you killing him." 

Stiles' eyes met Derek's. "Well, your precious Camaro isn't here and Dean barely let's me drive the impala with him in it, there's not a chance in hell he'll let me drive it to California, so we're taking my car." 

"You mean, that god awful jeep you drove?" Derek grimaced.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "You really think Dean would let me drive something like that? Sam and I decided it would be best if I drove something unrecognizable while there. We borrowed that old junker from a friend's old junk yard. I drive something much more reliable."

-

Stiles threw his car in reverse but was stopped by Dean.

"Are you sure you don't want me or Sam to go with you?" 

"Dean, I'll be fine." Stiles answered.

"What about Cas? He's not fully charged but he knows his way around an angel blade." Dean pressed.

"Are you really gonna sit here and tell me you're gonna let him out of your sight?" Stiles asked doubtfully. 

"You're right. Cas and I should both go." Dean nodded seriously.

"And what? Leave Sam here?" 

"Then we all go. I'll load up Baby and-"

"Dean. Derek and I can handle this. Besides I have Argent's number if I need back up. He'll be close by." Stiles spoke patiently.

Dean nodded. "Alright, you call me if anything happens. And keep your GPS tracker on your phones on. Both of you." 

Derek nodded.

"We will Dean. Don't kill Cas while were gone." Stiles smiled nodding towards the angel standing at the door with Sam.

Dean smiled over at Cas. "Don't worry, I'd miss him too damn much."

Stiles smiled as Derek raised his brows at Dean. 

"Stiles think about what I said." Dean tossed his eyes at Derek before giving his youngest brother a wink.

 

"Bye Dean." Stiles rolled his eyes as he backed out of the driveway.


	14. It was either this or the camaro

Derek turned to Stiles as they started down the road. "What was Dean talking about just then?" 

Stiles shifted uneasily. Derek knew that meant he was uncomfortable with the situation.

"Nothing." Stiles shook his head.

"He was obviously talking about something." Derek pressed.

Stiles' grip on the steering wheel tightened. "He was just being Dean." 

"I don't know what that means. I don't know how Dean is." Derek frowned. Why didn't Stiles want to talk about it?

"Don't worry about it." Stiles shifted again. 

"What are you hiding now?" Derek snapped. He didn't mean to be so harsh but he was growing irritated.

"Really, Derek?" Stiles huffed.

"I kept one thing from you, with good reason, and you assume I'm gonna keep everything from you?" 

"I don't trust you, Stiles " Derek answered harshly.

Stiles gripped the steering wheel again. 

After a few seconds of silence, Stiles spoke in a calm tone.

"Dean, thinks we have sexual tension between us. He thinks if we slept together we'd get along better." Stiles didn't look away from the road.

Derek frowned slightly, glancing at Stiles. He hated the frustration he and Stiles felt at one another. He decided to pull a page from Stiles' book to lighten the mood.

"Well we'd have to get a hotel room cause I doubt one of us could fit in that back seat, much less both." Derek turned to look at the tiny back seat of Stiles' car.

Stiles looked over at Derek. "I'm sorry did Derek Hale just make a joke?" 

Derek smirked as he turned back to face the front.

"I never imagined you driving a sporty car much less an Infinity Q60." Derek shook his head.

"It was either this or the Camaro. Sam looked better in the Camaro." Stiles shrugged. Truth was the Camaro reminded him of Derek and he refused to drive it. The black interior with sleek black exterior was a spitting image of Derek's own camaro. Stiles recalled the moment he saw it.

"Man these cars are nice. Someone must have stayed here recently. These are all pretty new." Sam looked around the garage of the bunker.

"According to the records there was one guy who found a spell to extend his life. He was banned by the men of letters but when they all died off he came back here." Stiles responded walking into the garage.

I think he was the legend Abandon mentioned killing." Dean piped in.

"Why did he need three cars?" Sam frowned at the three cars he had uncovered.

"Well you two can fight over them. I've got Baby." Dean sneered at the shiny sports cars.

Stiles looked at the white Rolls Royce. It was nice but not his style. He then looked over and stopped dead in his tracks. His stomach flipped and his heart skipped as a black Camaro stared him in the face. Images of Derek's smile in the front seat hit him like a brick.

 

"I think Stiles found the one he likes." Sam looked at Stiles.

Stiles turned away from the car. "No." He responded a little too sharply. 

His eyes landed on the Infinity. "I like that one." Stiles pointed at the grey car. 

"Are you sure? You seemed awfully enthralled with the Camaro. You get first pick." Sam urged.

"No, the Infinity suits me better." Stiles shook his head.

"Cas, you want the Camaro?" Sam asked the angel who stood in front of the rolls Royce.

"If it's okay with you I much prefer the white one." Cas said turning to the middle brother.

"Okay. Stiles are you sure-"

"Yes." Stiles answered quickly cutting Sam off. He didn't want to talk about the awful reminder anymore.

Derek frowned. "You loved my camaro." 

"It's not my style." Stiles shrugged.

"And this is?" Derek scoffed.

"Extremely. I hate the impala and I hated that jeep." Stiles answered.

"I guess I really don't know you." Derek frowned.

Stiles sighed. 

Derek looked out his window. It hurt to know that the Stiles he'd come to care for wasn't actually who Stiles was at all. Perhaps his feelings for Stiles would fade the more he got to know the real him. All the quirks he loved were fake. Maybe he didn't have feelings for Stiles at all.


	15. Stiles doesn't need backup

Stiles flipped through the stations on his radio before turning it off with a huff. They had been on the road for three hours and the silence in the car had driven Stiles crazy. He put the radio on for a bit but even that didn't mask the discomfort between him and Derek.

"Okay, look, I get it. Okay? You're pissed that I'm a hunter. But I'm still me." Stiles spoke suddenly catching Derek off guard.

"No, you're not." Derek shook his head. 

"How so?" Stiles asked glancing at the werewolf.

"You drive a sports car. You handle a gun better than Chris Argent. You have 2 brothers who could kill me in a second. You're best friend is a literal angel. You hunt and kill supernatural beings. Your last name is not Stilinski. The Sheriff isn't your uncle. Your mom died when you were an infant. You were raised by your brothers. It's like I've met you for the first time. You have the same face but you're not my Stiles at all." Derek answered harshly.

"Your Stiles?" Stiles frowned looking at the alpha.

"You're not the Stiles I knew." Derek corrected himself quickly.

"I trusted you. I trusted you with my pack. You were part of my pack." Derek fought to keep his composure. This hurt him a lot more than he'd realized. Saying it to Stiles made it real and Stiles' lack of objection proved him right.

Stiles frowned at the stretch of road in front of him. He didn't know what to say. He knew Derek was mad but he seemed hurt too.

"Maybe it's a good thing you don't know me." Stiles finally spoke in a quiet tone. 

"Why?" Derek looked at the hunter.

"Because you would hate me more than you do now." Stiles answered.

"Stiles, I don't hate you." Derek sighed.

"You don't have to sugar coat it Derek, I can handle it." Stiles spoke trying to hide the hurt in his tone. 

"Then why do you look so upset?" Derek asked looking at Stiles carefully.

 

"Because, I've officially been rejected by my alpha." Stiles' voice broke slightly. He gave Derek a forced half smile.

"Isaac, said it was painful." Stiles nodded turning back to the road.

"I was never your alpha, you and I both know it was always Scott." Derek spoke between clenched teeth.

"You're wrong." Stiles objected. 

"I pretended he was my best friend but it was an act. To be honest, the only two I truly trusted was you and Lydia." 

Derek glared at Stiles. His heart didn't skip or race. In fact it rarely had the past few days. Suddenly Derek realized why Stiles smelled slightly different. He didn't reek of anxiety.

"Your anxiety..." Derek looked at Stiles with a look of shock.

"I'm not a good liar." Stiles shrugged.

"I was terrified the entire time that Argent would spill." Stiles shook his head. He had truly lived in constant fear of the pack finding out.

"The entire time... you were just worried someone would find out that you were..." Derek took a moment to wrap his head around the fact.

"I'm sorry. I came so close to telling you but I was terrified of your rejection. And as much as I trusted you, I couldn't be sure you wouldn't say anything. And it needed to be a secret. It's dangerous to be a Winchester. And I definitely didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me-" Stiles cut himself off.

Derek sensed guilt radiating from Stiles.

"Stiles-"

"Anyway, anything you want to know, I promise not to lie." Stiles interrupted what was sure to be an awkward pep talk. 

Derek sighed. "It wasn't your fault." 

"Derek, just don't." Stiles put his hand up to stop Derek from saying anymore.

"Do Sam and Dean know?" Derek asked.

Stiles only shook his head.

Derek didn't push it. There were enough emotions between them they didn't need to stir up something so sensitive.

"Do you really take adderall?" Derek asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes, I am very unfocused if I don't. Sam makes sure I don't take it to stay awake. That was the reason for me being, as you put it, a hyperactive spazz." Stiles explained.

"Sight of blood doesn't bother you?" 

"Depends on how much. Sam is the least squimish of the three of us." 

"Ever killed a werewolf?"

"A whole pack, but they weren't like you. You're a different kind."

"Ever killed an innocent? besides..." 

"Too many."

"Do you enjoy hunting?"

"I enjoy saving people." 

"Ever killed another hunter?"

"A few."

"Where's your dad?"

"Dead."

"Were you two close?"

"Not at all."

"Why didn't you kill Scott when he got bit?'

"I wanted to try and help him." 

"Why did you always come to me for help? You clearly didn't need it."

Stiles paused. "I trusted you." 

"That's not why." Derek had heard the lie clear as day.

Stiles shifted in his seat causing Derek to frown.

"Stiles, you said you wouldn't lie." Derek looked quizzically at the hunter.

Stiles glanced at Derek. "It's ridiculous."

"Stiles." Derek huffed impatiently.

"So I could keep an eye on you." Stiles answered sharply.

"What?" Derek frowned at Stiles.

"I was worried about you constantly so I decided to keep you close by. I knew you could handle yourself but every time I turned around, you were on the brink of death. The bullet, the pool, Kate in your basement, the hospital with the alpha's..." Stiles sighed.

"I did get myself into a lot of trouble." Derek nodded thoughtfully. 

"And I didn't have my gun or angel blade or anything. So really I did need you." Stiles added.

"I thought we made, as Matt said, a pretty good pair." Stiles chuckled.

Derek snorted. 

"But seriously, I thought we made a good team." Stiles shrugged with a quiet tone.

"We did." Derek nodded. The fact that Stiles had been worried about Derek enough to ask for help to keep him close, made Derek's heart swell. A comment Sam made popped into Derek's head. 

Stiles doesn't need backup, he wants it.


	16. Getting lucky

Stiles pulled into the parking lot of the grill and bar. He needed a break from driving and he was starving. They had been on the road for almost eight hours. Conversation was minimal between him and Derek. There was still an awkward tension but it wasn't as bad. 

Derek looked at Stiles with raised brows.

"When you're on the road with Dean, you get used to stopping at places like this." Stiles shrugged before climbing out of the car.

"That's an awfully nice ride." A voice spoke eyeing the Infinity before tossing a wink at Stiles. 

Stiles narrowed his eyes as the guy walked around the car slowly. 

Derek slammed his door causing the guy to look up. 

"It is, so keep your hands off." Derek said in a warning tone. 

The guy smirked. "Are you referring to the car or the guy?" 

Derek clenched his jaw. "Both." 

"Protective boyfriend, how cute. I'm not scared of you." The guy sneered walking towards Stiles but not looking away from Derek.

"I'm not the one you should be scared of." Derek said simply.

The guy looked at Stiles with a disbelieving frown.

Stiles loaded the chamber of his gun with an innocent smile. He tucked the gun into his back. 

"You have a good night." Stiles smirked with a wink before walking into the bar.

 

"Does that happen a lot?" Derek asked following Stiles inside.

"More often to Dean believe it or not." Stiles answered. 

-

Derek and Stiles had finished eating and Stiles was currently losing to a game of pool for the third time. The alcohol seemed to be effecting him more than it should have. 

Derek walked over to Stiles once the game ended. "We should get going." 

"One more game." Stiles said gesturing for the other guy to rack up. 

"Let's raise the stakes." The other guy nodded grinning.

"We're both out of money but I have this nice watch and you're pretty hot. So if I win I take you back to mine tonight, you win, then you get this watch. Deal?" 

Stiles grinned. 

"No." Derek snapped.

"It's fine Derek, I've got this." Stiles put a hand on Derek's shoulder.

"You already lost three games. I think you're a little too drunk." Derek growled.

"Don't be such a sourwolf." Stiles stepped by Derek leaving Derek frozen in place. He hadn't been called that in over a year. Stiles was the one who called him that the first time. The others would call him that occasionally, it annoyed him but he always forced back a smile when Stiles said it.

Derek turned to see Stiles shaking hands with the other guy. "Deal, Jason." 

"Damn it, Stiles." Derek snapped.

"Chill out big guy." Stiles winked at Derek. Derek was tempted to throw Stiles over his shoulder and drag him out. 

Stiles broke and sunk three solids causing Derek to frown. 

"Lucky shot." The other guy, Stiles had called Jason, grinned seeming unfazed as he watched Stiles bend over to take another shot. 

Derek felt possessive of Stiles suddenly. Stiles was gonna lose and this asshole was gonna have his hands all over him later. Derek felt the wolf in him strive to come through but Derek pushed it back.

Stiles sank another two.

"Derek, I think you're my lucky charm." Stiles stepped in close to Derek running his hand across his chest as he walked to the other side of the table. He lined up his shot and sunk one more. He shot for his last ball but missed it.

"Looks like your luck's run out, baby." Jason grinned. "Don't worry you'll be getting lucky after this game." 

Stiles walked over and leaned against Derek. Placing his head on Derek's shoulder. Derek fought the urge to pull Stiles closer.  

Jason tossed a glare at Derek. 

"You're not jealous are you?" Stiles asked as Jason lined up his second shot.

"Nah, I know I'll be the one taking you home." The guy shook his head.

"What if I win? Then Derek gets to take me home." Stiles turned to face Derek. He ran his hand down Derek's chest and torso stopping at the top of his jeans.

Derek didn't respond. How drunk was Stiles? 

Jason was obviously distracted by Stiles hanging all over Derek and missed his shot. 

Jason gently grabbed Stiles' waist pulling him away from Derek. "You haven't won yet." 

It took all of Derek's self control not to rip the guy's throat out. 

Jason's hand traveled lower but before he could reach Stiles' ass, Stiles had pulled away.

Stiles lined up his shot sinking his final ball. 

"Now, just to clarify, if you sink the eight ball in the wrong pocket you still lose." Jason spoke looking a little nervous.

"I know how the game works." Stiles rolled his eyes.

Derek held his breath as Stiles called a pocket and lined up the shot. There was no way in hell Derek was letting this guy so much as touch Stiles. He felt his wolf bristle as Stiles took his shot. 

Stiles grinned as the ball landed in the pocket. 

"Well...I guess you're right, I am getting lucky." Stiles spoke clearly as he swiped his winnings from the table. 

Jason frowned. 

"Watch." Stiles held his hand out. 

"You hustled me." Jason said in realization.

Stiles smiled. "Maybe you shouldn't be so eager to get in someone's pants. Watch." Stiles demanded again.

The guy took off his watch and dropped it into Stiles' waiting hand. 

"Hey, Derek, ready to go?" Stiles asked walking by the werewolf. Stiles as completely sober.

Derek followed unsure if he was pissed or impressed.

The two climbed into Stiles' car.

"Don't do that again." Derek growled.

 

"What?" Stiles asked tucking the money into his jacket pocket.

"Bet yourself." 

"Oh come on, you really think I'd let some random stranger take me home?" Stiles asked.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure." Derek answered.

"I'm sorry, but I knew I was gonna win." Stiles shrugged. 

"Well I didn't." Derek snapped.

Stiles looked at Derek with a frown. 

"Were you worried that I was actually gonna go home with him?" 

"I felt that weird alpha pull that I feel when a pack member is threatened." Derek growled not looking at Stiles.

Stiles looked at Derek in surprise. Did Derek still consider him a member of his pack? Stiles opened his mouth to ask but his phone rang through the speakers in his car. He pressed the answer button on his dash.

"Hey Dean." Stiles said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Hey, you alright?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, just got back on the road. We stopped for dinner and a little pool." 

"How much did you win?" 

"Three fifty and a fancy watch." Stiles glanced at Derek.

"Nice."

"Nice?" Derek snapped. "He bet himself in order to get that stupid watch." 

"Hey, Derek." Dean chuckled.

"Yeah, I used Derek to distract the guy, you should have seen his face when he realized he'd been hustled." Stiles grinned proudly.

"Used Derek how?" Dean asked.

"Just a little unnecessary touching and flirting." Stiles answered.

"Buttering him up for some hate sex?" Dean laughed. 

"Dean." They heard Sam snap before his voice was one the phone. 

"Ignore Dean, you two be careful and pull over if you get too tired." 

"We will." Stiles agreed.

"Sorry for using you like that." Stiles said suddenly turning to Derek once the call ended.

"That's not what bothered me. Next time let me know you're not actually whoring yourself out." Derek huffed.

"Well it bothers me. Dean uses Cas like that and I didn't process before I used you." Stiles was frowning at the road.

"So you flirted a bit, it's not a big deal." Derek didn't understand why Stiles was so upset by it.

"But it is. I was no better than Kate or Jennifer. " Stiles said his tone stressed.

Derek looked at Stiles in shock.

"Stiles, that was nothing like Kate or Jennifer. You touched my chest a bit, you didn't trick me into-" Derek cut himself off.

Stiles looked at Derek with an apologetic look.

"You're really worried that that upset me?" Derek looked at Stiles.

"I know how much unnecessary touching makes you uncomfortable. As soon as I told Dean, it hit me. I'm sorry." Stiles shifted slightly. 

Derek smelled the faintest scent of guilt.

"What makes you think unnecessary touching makes me uncomfortable." Derek asked with a frown. The two of them had never talked about Kate or Jennifer.

"I'm not stupid. You tense when you aren't expecting the contact. You don't like to be restrained. You don't like to be cornered. Kate was a big motivating factor in the reason you wanted to be an alpha. You have trouble believing that anyone can help you without wanting something in return. You have serious trust issues..." Stiles trailed off.

Derek thought back on all the times Stiles had actually touched him. Other than saving his life, not much came to mind. 

Derek looked at Stiles fondly, he may not be the exact same guy Derek had come to care for but he was pretty damn similar and that worried Derek.


	17. Cute couple

Stiles yawned before checking his phone. "Ugh, still another day away." 

"We should probably stop somewhere." Derek said stifling his own yawn.

"There is a town five miles ahead. We can stop at a hotel there." Stiles agreed.

Stiles phone rang through the car speakers again.

"Cas, hey, what's wrong?" Stiles asked frowning.

"Nothing, I was calling to make sure you weren't taking your aderrall to stay awake and drive through the night. Sam and Dean are in bed and I know they would want you to rest." Cas answered causing Stiles to smile. 

"We're planning on stopping no worries." 

"Stiles..." Cas paused.

"Yeah, Cas?" Stiles asked taking a turn towards a small town.

"This Peter, Derek is confident he can handle him, is he not a werewolf too?" 

Stiles slammed on the breaks harder than he intended to at the stop sign.

"W-what are you talking about?" Stiles shifted glancing at a much too calm Derek.

"Derek is a werewolf, a born one as I have come to find. If Peter is his uncle, then Peter would also be a werewolf." Cas explained calmly as if it was common knowledge that Derek was a werewolf.

"Unless it's because Derek is an alpha and he is stronger than Peter despite Peter being older." Cas stated talking mostly to himself.

Stiles swallowed hard. 

Derek could smell the anxiety and stress on him. Before he could explain Cas spoke again.

"Wait, I'm sorry, did Derek not tell you we talked about it last night?" Cas asked.

"No, about what exactly?" Stiles growled shooting a glare at Derek.

"Once I got some grace back I could sense he wasn't human. I noticed how you two worded things and put some pieces together. I assured him that I won't say anything to Sam or Dean. I'm very proud that you two are close. I didn't think you Winchesters had it in you." Cas explained calmly. 

"We're friends with you and Crowley." Stiles pointed out.

"I pulled Dean from Hell, I pieced his soul back together, there was bound to be a friendship. Crowley is just..."Cas paused.

"The king of hell who just so happens to be harboring a major crush on Dean?" Stiles chuckled. 

"The two are oddly close." Cas sounded thoughtful.

"It's probably all that time they spent together when they partnered up after the whole mark thing." Stiles shrugged though Cas couldn't see.

"Yes, perhaps, that. Goodnight Stiles." Cas changed the subject quickly. 

"Oh and do me a favor, look after Derek, I know he's a strong alpha werewolf but he's broken inside. And I know you are too. You are a mystery to me but, Derek...he is not. You two need each other, he especially." 

Stiles glanced at a brooding Derek.

"Cas, I'm not broken, I'm stressed and Derek has been through a lot of shit in his life, he doesn't 'need' anybody." 

Before Cas could respond Stiles piped up again. 

"And yes I get what you were trying to say, we'll be careful. You know you don't have to use so many words." Stiles chuckled.

Cas gave a soft laugh. "So much like Dean."

Stiles shook his head as he got out of the car and grabbed his bag from the trunk.

"Is he always so forward and intense?" Derek asked grabbing his own bag.

"Yeah, pretty much." Stiles nodded with a smile. 

"He really cares for all of you doesn't he?" Derek said thoughtfully.

"He's our family, all we've got left. You can understand that." Stiles said opening the door to the hotel.

"Welcome, you're lucky, we have only three rooms left." The lady smiled eyeing Derek. 

"One room just for the night." Stiles spoke as Derek grabbed the bag Stiles was struggling to hold as he sighed the paper.

"Oh, thanks." Stiles smiled at Derek once he realized the weight had literally been lifted off.

"Just passing through or visiting family?" The lady asked making small talk as she typed in her computer.

"Family." Stiles answered with a smile. 

If Derek did know Stiles was lying he'd have believed every word. His big brown eyes, amazing smile, he really was quite the charmer when he wanted to be. It's no wonder Derek had fallen for him. 

"We have two rooms with a queen bed and one room with a king bed with a view which is usually extra but you two are just so adorable together so, room four zero three, fourth floor." The lady winked at Stiles as she handed him the key.

"Thank you." Stiles grinned widely. Derek raised his brows at Stiles but tossed the lady a smile.

Once in the elevator Stiles let out a sigh "Okay good, Sam is the one who usually comes up with a story for if we're questioned. Ours is we're a couple on our way to meet the other's family. I could be meeting your family." Stiles nodded thoughtfully.

"Why do we need this lie?" Derek asked confused.

"We have every angel and demon looking for us, they ask questions. It's so they say, our last guest was a cute couple going to meet his parents for the first time instead of oh our last guest were two guys just passing through. It doesn't give them a lead. They all won't recognize me and I doubt the demons know your face that well yet. And if we went the brother route they'd assume us. Winchester brothers. Everybody knows 'em." Stiles huffed.

Just then the elevator opened again allowing an older couple.

"Stiles you forgot to hit the floor number." Derek sighed shaking his head.

"Why is it my fault? You are just as capable as I am." Stiles chided back.

"I'm carrying all our bags remember." Derek pointed out.

"Oh here, I can take mine back." Stiles reached for his bag but Derek pulled it away.

"I've got the bags why don't you control the door." Derek nodded toward the still unlit numbers.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what number?" Stiles asked turning to the older couple who were grinning.

"Four please." The man nodded 

"Perfect." Stiles watched the number four light up under his touch.

"You must be the couple the lady mentioned." The older woman grinned.

"Oh, she mentioned us? You should probably work on your people skills babe." Stiles winked at Derek who simply rolled his eyes.

"Yes, someone asked who all the guests were that checked in in the past hour he looked to be a cop. She said only two. An older man that has a business meeting tomorrow and a cute couple that are on they're way to see family. They weren't happy with those answers though. I think they're looking for somebody." The woman answered quietly. 

"Oh." Derek looked at Stiles. Perhaps he knew what he was doing after all.

"How long have you two been together?" The man asked.

"A year."  
"Two years.

"Ahem, we started dating two years ago but then we broke up for year and now we're back together." Stiles smiled. 

"Oh. Why did you break up? You two act like you could have been married for a year or two." The woman pouted.

"Conflict of interests in our personal lives. He went to New York I ended up in Kansas and then a month ago he shows up at my door begging for me back." Stiles smirked at Derek.

"More like we ran into each other and we couldn't say goodbye; not again." Derek smiled at Stiles.

"My version made me seem irresistible." Stiles pouted.

"Trust me, you are." Derek said loud enough for everyone to hear yet his lips brushed Stiles ear as he spoke. 

Stiles swallowed but put on a fake grin. "We get it, you're the charming one."

The couple laughed just as the elevator doors opened. 

"It's so nice to see a young couple so completely in love. You can always tell when it's fake and when it's real. What you two have is real. That's rare, you hold on to that and don't let that go, no matter what life throws at you. You promise me." She spoke seriously.

Stiles and Derek glanced at each other. 

Stiles looked at the lady with a smile. "I promise."

"And you, don't you leave him again." The lady frowned at Derek.

Derek's jaw dropped as his brow furrowed.

"I can see which one of you has trust issues. He's trusting you again because he loves you. Don't you ruin that. Commitment is a scary thing, I know, but you can't run forever. You were brought back together, that's something. Don't push away those you love for fear of being left. Take the risk, some may sting but you'll find the one who will be worth all the pain you've endured to get to him. You hold on to him. Now here is my address, we expect an invitation for when you two get married. Have a good night." The lady blew a kiss as she turned to follow her husband.

Derek looked down at the sticker on his finger. It read: Patrick and Laura Wolfe, 329 Hunters lane, Leadville, CO.

"Did she give you a return address sticker?" Stiles asked looking at the paper.

Derek didn't respond as he stared at the sticker. 

"Derek are you okay?" Stiles asked gently touching his arm with the tips of his fingers. 

"Yeah." Derek shook his head.

"Right." Stiles said doubtfully as he unlocked their room.

Under normal circumstances Derek would probably have thrown away the address but instead he opened his bag and pulled a worn book from it. He placed the sticker in the front cover to help hold a loose stitch. The book was very old and very used.

"The Giver. Hm." Stiles read the cover.  
"A favorite of yours?" Stiles asked as he put his bag on the end of the bed.

"It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me when I was young." Derek answered.

"I have a copy that Dean got me for my Birthday when I was eight. He told me that in this book I was Jonas and while it's scary at first and sad at times it was the right thing to do. Once I read it I asked Dean if Jonas and Gabriel made it to elsewhere or if the music he heard was their death. He smiled at me and said, I can't decide your ending for you. I decided they died." Stiles chuckled.

"I asked my mother the same question when I was younger. She told me it didn't matter because Jonas saved his community." Derek bit his bottom lip as he placed the book back in his bag.

He turned to look at Stiles who seemed to be in deep thought. He was admiring the free view. The moon lit up his face. He looked tired but not sickly like he sometimes had back in Beacon Hills. His hair was longer, he wanted to run his hand through it. Derek loved the way his shoulders filled out his shirt, he wanted to feel them around him. His lips pink and plump, Stiles was probably a great kisser.

Derek drug his eyes away. He was not going to be physically attracted to Stiles, he and Stiles were on a hunt. They had a mission and once it was over he'd never have to worry about how he felt towards Stiles, again. 

He glanced back at the hunter. 

He wasn't even sure 'what' he felt towards Stiles.


	18. You were no exception

Stiles turned to Derek. "I thought there would at least be a recliner. I'll take the floor." 

Before Derek could respond Stiles was closing himself in the bathroom.

Derek looked at the large bed. He and Stiles had only stayed in the same house once and Derek had been too on edge to sleep, leaving the bed to Stiles. Of course it had been his own bed which Stiles had graciously offered to Derek. That had been only a week of knowing each other and he was forced to stay with Stiles until his name got cleared for murder which Stiles had accused Derek of.

Derek heard the shower turn on. He took the time to go fetch some dinner. He had seen a restaraunt next to the hotel.

Stiles stood in the stream of hot water hoping his muscles would relax. For some reason Cas's words replayed in his head. 

"Look after Derek, I know he's a strong alpha werewolf but he's broken inside. And I know you are too. You are a mystery to me but, Derek...he is not. You two need each other, he especially."

Why would Cas say that? He wasn't broken, was he? Derek was a bit, but how did Cas know? What all had he and Derek talked about last night? Derek wasn't one to spill his life story, especially to a stranger. 

"You two need each other, he especially." 

Why would he and Derek need each other, and why Derek especially? Derek didn't need anyone, ever, especially not Stiles. There had been a time when Stiles needed Derek but that was a long time ago. He had grown to care for Derek, but Derek made it clear how he felt when he took off without so much as a goodbye and didn't respond to any calls or texts. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. Stiles huffed turning off the water. He didn't know why he was still mad about it, that was a year ago.

Derek looked up to see Stiles step out of the bathroom in only his boxer shorts.

Derek's lips parted at the sight of a half naked Stiles. 

 

His shoulders were definitely more broad and his abs more defined. 

"You got dinner?" Stiles frowned at the spread of food layed out on the bed in front of Derek.

Derek drug his eyes away from Stiles. 

"Uh, yeah, I saw a diner next door. I didn't know what you wanted so I just got you a burger and fries.

Stiles opened the to go box to see a burger and curly fries.

"I hope you still like curly fries." Derek said watching Stiles' expression.

"I do. I didn't know you knew that about me." Stiles felt a smile just barely tug at his lips.

He sat across from Derek shoving a fry in his mouth. 

The two ate in silence until Derek spoke up finally.

"You know the bed is big enough, neither of us have to sleep on the floor." Derek didn't look up from his plate as he grabbed a fry.

Stiles looked up at Derek. Was he serious? 

"Are you serious?" Stiles frowned.

"We've been in closer quarters before. You're not exactly a stranger." Derek said his tone serious.

"We have another days drive, we both need decent rest." 

Stiles bit at his bottom lip. 

"Unless you're uncomfortable with me." Derek frowned at Stiles' hesitation.

"No, it's not that, I just...." Stiles sighed pushing the rest of his food away.

"I wish you genuinely trusted me. The last time you and I shared a room, it was mine and I was terrified you were gonna rip my throat out in my sleep. Now here we are two years later and I'm no less terrified." 

"Stiles, I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that." Derek frowned. 

"That's not true, you hurt me just the other day when you took off." Stiles huffed.

"Stiles, I was trying to keep you out of my mess-"

"It's my mess too. You think things are gonna be any less dangerous with  you gone? We are fighting a prince of hell, three actually, in order to keep Lucifer from getting out of his cage. That doesn't change with or without you. But I'd rather know that angels aren't torturing you or that demons aren't scurrying around in your brain. So you're excuse is bullshit, if anything, you're in my mess!" Stiles shouted.

Derek clenched his jaw. Stiles had always been the one to stand up to him. 

"So what, you think I'm gonna leave?" 

"I dunno, maybe." Stiles threw his hands up.

"And that would hurt you." Derek spoke doubtfully. 

"Yes, because that means one of two things, you don't trust me, or you can't wait to get away from me." Stiles answered sharply. 

"And which do you think it is?" Derek crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Well seeing as how you left a year ago with no trace, and then you left the other night after telling me you don't trust me, I'm gonna guess both." 

"I told you I left the other night to keep you out of my mess." Derek huffed.

"Then what was your excuse a year ago? I wasn't involved in any mess then." Stiles demanded.

"Why are you so pissed about that? It was a year ago." Derek snapped.

"Because everyone I have ever cared about has left me and you were no exception!" Stiles shouted. He was pissed and hurt.  
"And the worst part of it was, everyone else was taken from me, but you chose to leave!" 

Stiles' felt tears threatening his eyes as he turned away trying to calm down. It hurt to say out loud but it felt good telling Derek how he really felt.

Derek felt his heart break. He'd truly hurt Stiles. That was something he never wanted to do. Ever.

"Stiles, I-"

"Just forget it." Stiles interrupted. He had pushed the tears back and was pulling himself together.

"No." Derek growled.

"I didn't leave you, Stiles, I ran away. I saw Scott stepping up as the true alpha and new I wasn't needed any more. I never imagined you'd need me. What could I offer that Scott couldn't?" Derek admitted his voice quiet.

"Understanding, someone I completely trusted. Derek, you knew loss like I knew loss. You understood that not everyone couldn't be saved. You knew sacrifice and pain and what it meant to survive. You trusted me with your life multiple times. And if I was ever in danger, I was genuinely afraid Scott's choices would make things worse. But you, I knew you'd do whatever was necessary. I needed you. And right after Allison and Aiden, and..." Stiles paused for a moment.  
"I needed you more then than ever. Scott looked at me differently, Lydia felt sorry for me. Malia didn't even really understand what happened. I'm not stupid. But I knew that they couldn't truly forgive me, see me as anything but who I had been. And then within a week, you were gone." Stiles spoke with a slight frown but his heart was even, his nerves were calm.

Derek couldn't pick up any strong emotion, not anger, or sadness. It was like Stiles was numb. 

"Stiles, I'm sorry." Derek's tone was barely above a whisper.

"I didn't know. Peter said you and Malia were happy that Scott was handling everything okay." 

"Malia broke up with me two weeks later because I failed to mention she was a Hale." Stiles sighed.

"She broke up with you for that?" Derek frowned.

"Just looking for an excuse." Stiles shrugged.

Derek opened his mouth but Stiles cut in.

"Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm tired." Stiles looked at Derek with exhausted eyes.

 

Derek only nodded. "I'll go shower."

"Can I take the right side?" Stiles asked pulling back the bed covers.

Derek nodded again before walking into the bathroom.

-

Derek took his time in the shower. When he got out, he found Stiles asleep in bed. He looked so beautiful. 

Derek felt sick at the thought that he'd hurt him.

"Everyone I have ever cared about has left me and you were no exception. The worst part of it was, everyone else was taken from me, but you chose to leave."

The words echoed in Derek's head. He sighed as he crawled into bed next to Stiles. 

His wolf hurt. He'd hurt a pack member. He looked over at Stiles, whose back was turned towards him. He wanted to pull him in close but knew that he couldn't. As much as he wanted to claim he didn't have feelings for Stiles anymore, he knew he did. And he knew Stiles would never return those feelings. He didn't know who hurt more, his wolf, or him.


	19. In love

Dean walked by Cas's room and paused.

"Hey, Cas, you okay?" Dean asked from the doorway. 

Cas turned to Dean. "Yes, I think so."

"That doesn't sound too convincing." Dean stepped into the room. 

"I'm just struggling with these human emotions. I know fallen angels can develop human emotions over time but, becoming human has made them much stronger." Cas answered.

"But you got some grace back, you're not human anymore." Dean frowned taking a seat next to Cas.

"I know, but I still feel them stronger than I did before." Cas looked at Dean carefully.

"How so?" Dean asked encouraging Cas to explain.

"When I'm around Sam...I feel connected to him in a way I never have. It's different than it is with you."  Cas frowned.

"Connected to him how?" Dean asked his voice laced in jealousy. 

"I'm not sure, I'm still trying to figure it out. I've never felt emotions so strong, it's overwhelming." Cas answered.

"Do you love him?" Dean asked tensely.

"Of course, Dean, I love all of you." Cas nodded with a frown.

Dean gave a forced smile. "I mean are you in love with him?"

"You mean in a romantic way?" Cas asked looking at Dean.

Dean only nodded.

"I don't think so." Cas frowned again.

"You don't seem sure." Dean pressed.

"I've never been in love with anyone before." Cas said thoughtfully.

"Everyone experiences it differently. Some people want to be around that person all the time. Some people feel nervous around that person. Some feel extra protective of them." Dean tried to explain. It wasn't easy to explain to someone who barely knew human emotions.

"I do feel extra protective of him." Cas nodded. 

Dean felt his heart sink.

"But I feel protective of all of you." Cas shook his head.

"I think I need to sort them out more, perhaps I don't know what I'm feeling at all." Cas said looking away in thought.

"Don't go making out with my little brother." Dean joked, but his smile was forced and his tone came out as more of a plead.

"Don't worry Dean." Cas smiled at the hunter. Dean felt his lips form a smile in return. Something about Cas's smile always made Dean smile. Perhaps it was because he was in love with the angel.

\- 

Sam sifted through a few books in the library. Dean had gone out claiming he needed air. 

"Sam, could I talk to you for a minute?" Cas spoke up behind him.

"Sure Cas, what's up?" Sam turned to his friend.

"How do you know if you are in love with someone?" 

Sam's brows rose. "Uh well, it depends really. Usually you want to be around them all the time. You feel safe around them and maybe protective. Their smile makes you smile, their laugh makes you laugh. You catch yourself staring at them randomly. You want their approval. Umm, your heart might race near them or you may get nervous around them. Why?" 

"Dean asked me if I was in love with you earlier." Cas answered simply. 

"W-what? Why?" Sam swallowed hard.

"All these new human emotions are overwhelming. I'm picking specific ones and trying to understand them. The current one is a stronger connection than before. It's different than my connection to Dean." Cas explained.

"Di-different how?" Sam swallowed nervously. Cas couldn't have feelings for him. That would crush Dean. Though his brother would never admit it, he was head over heels for Cas.

"I'm unsure exactly. I do feel more protective of you, like it's my number one priority to keep you safe." Cas answered.

"You don't feel that way about Dean?" Sam frowned. 

"Not as strongly, no." Cas shook his head. 

"Umm, ahem." Sam cleared his nervously.  
"Do you feel that way about Stiles?"

Cad frowned. "I'm not sure, I haven't thought about it." 

Cas looked thoughtful for a moment.   
"Yes, I do. I'm worried sick about him. I feel like if anything happens to him, I would be devastated." 

"You feel it towards him just as strongly towards me?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Yes." Cas nodded much to Sam's relief. 

"You're feeling a paternal love towards Stiles and I, not a romantic one." Sam smiled.

"Then why do I feel it differently towards Dean?" Cas frowned at the middle Winchester.

Sam smiled knowingly. Cas had feelings for Dean.

"I couldn't tell you, Cas. You'll have to figure that one out a bit more." 

Cas nodded. "Thank you, Sam." 

Just as he turned around to leave Dean walked in.

"Uh, hey, Cas, Sam." Dean said glancing between the two.

"Dean, I spoke with Sam, I'm not in love with him or Stiles." Cas smiled.

"Uh, that's great, Cas." Dean frowned in confusion. 

Cas slipped by him pulling out his phone.

"Hey, Cas." Stiles' voice answered.

"Stiles, I'm glad you answered, I'm not in love with you." Cas grinned though Stiles couldn't see him.


	20. A Winchester

"Stiles, I'm glad you answered, I'm not in love with you." Cas spoke cheerfully through the car speakers.

"Uhhh....that's great, Cas." Stiles frowned glancing at an equally confused Derek.

"How are you?" Cas asked not explaining himself any further.

"I'm alright. Are you?" Stiles asked slightly concerned.

"Yes, I am well. I just wanted to check in because I have a paternal love for you." Cas answered just as cheerfully as before.

Stiles laughed. "Okay, Cas. We'll we're less than thirty minutes from Beacon Hills so tell Sam and Dean we'll be in touch."

"I will. Be careful, both of you." Cas responded his tone more serious.

"We will." Stiles agreed before ending the call.

"What was that about?" Derek asked looking at Stiles.

"There's no telling with Cas. I'll call Dean later." Stiles shrugged.

Derek was about to respond but he smelt that familiar smell of anxiety radiating off of Stiles suddenly. His heart rate was also elevated. That's when Derek noticed the sign for Beacon Hills.

"Hey, it's gonna be an in and out visit." Derek spoke looking at Stiles.

"Yeah." Stiles responded not taking his eyes off the road.

Why was Stiles so worried? Derek didn't want to push. It had been a long day already. The two barely spoke the whole day. Stiles let Derek drive at one point and he took a small nap, but Stiles was still tense.

"You're sure he's at your old loft?" Stiles asked turning down the familiar road.

"Yeah." Derek nodded.

Stiles put the car in park but made no move to get out.

"Stiles, are you okay?" Derek smelled the stress and anxiety even stronger now. 

Stiles swallowed but didn't look at Derek. He tapped anxiously on the steering wheel.

"Stiles, it's just Peter." Derek said gently. 

Stiles didn't respond. He looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

"Hey, I'm not gonna let anything happen." Derek put his hand on Stiles' shoulder.

Stiles looked over at Derek, but instead of responding, Stiles pulled away from Derek and pushed his car door open.

Derek sighed but followed after him silently. 

Stiles stopped in front of the large metal door.

Derek banged on it. "Peter, it's me, open up." 

Stiles felt for his gun. He should have checked it before walking in here. He mentally kicked himself. He needed to pull himself together. 

Just then the door was pulled open revealing Peter. "Well if it isn't my nephew aaaand Stiles." Peter's eyes rose at the hunter. 

"What an unusual surprise." 

"We need to talk." Derek said stepping past his deranged uncle. 

Stiles paused. 

"You aren't still scared of me are you Stiles?" Peter smirked.

Stiles rolled his eyes as he followed Derek.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?" Peter asked glancing between Stiles and Derek.

"We need to know if you know of a box with a powerful weapon in it. One that could help release Lucifer from his cage." Stiles said getting straight to the point. He was on a job, he had no time to be a mess.

"Lucifer, as in the devil." Peter frowned in confusion. 

"Do you know any other Lucifer's?" Stiles snapped.

"You haven't changed much have you? Other than having bulked up. You grew up well in the last year." Peter grinned eyeing Stiles slowly. 

"Derek, tell me you've hit this, cause if not, I might have to." Peter winked at Stiles.

Derek felt his jaw clench. But before he could threaten the ex alpha Stiles had his gun out.

"These bullets won't kill you but they'll hurt, now answer the question." Stiles growled.

"When did you learn to use a gun? That's a nice one too-" Peter cut himself off when he saw the engraving on the barrel. 

"Winchester?" Peter's eyes glowed an ice blue, his nails and teeth extracting quickly.

Derek pulled Stiles behind him, his own eyes gleaming. 

"He's a hunter." Peter snapped.

"I'm aware." Derek growled.

"He's a Winchester, they're worse than the Argent's." Peter went to step around Derek towards Stiles but Derek grabbed him. 

"You aren't going to hurt him." Derek growled again.

"You're really protecting a hunter? Do you not remember what they did to our family?" Peter snapped.

"Stiles didn't do anything to our family, that was Kate." Derek responded.

Peter grabbed Derek's arm. "Don't tell me you're blinded by another pretty face. Didn't you learn your lesson with Kate? You can't fall in love with a hunter, Derek." Peter glared at Stiles. 

"That's not what this is. He's protecting me." Derek snapped pulling his arm away harshly.

 

"Protecting you? From what? You're an alpha." Peter scoffed.

"I have demons and angels after me because they think I have some box with a weapon that can release Lucifer from his cage." Derek barked.

"Listen to yourself, demons and angels?" Peter scoffed again. "The only demon I've ever encountered was him." Peter pointed at Stiles.

Stiles felt his chest tighten. His heart was racing again. He fought to keep control but he was losing it.

 

Images of the last time Stiles was here flashed through his head. 

"Stiles?" Derek's voice sounded faint. 

"What's wrong with him?" Peter frowned taking a step towards him.

"Don't touch him." Derek snarled causing Peter to pause. 

"Stiles, look at me, you're okay." Derek  grabbed on to Stiles before he sunk to the ground. 

-

Stiles opened his eyes to see Derek pacing. He sat up to find himself on Peter's couch. 

"Stiles." Derek rushed to Stiles' side.

"Are you okay?" Derek put his hand on Stiles' arm.

Stiles jerked away as he stood up. "I'm fine." He snapped.

"Where's my gun?" Stiles demanded feeling for it.

"Here." Derek pulled it from his back. 

Stiles took it, tucking it back into his.

"Stiles, I'm sorry-" 

"Save it." Stiles snapped cutting off whatever Peter was about to say.

"I'm gonna go talk to Argent. Call me if you get anything out of this mutt." Stiles sneered turning towards the door.

"Just like your old man." Peter scoffed.

Stiles whipped around and had Peter against the wall with his arm against his throat. 

"I am nothing like him." Stiles snapped, his tone not quite a yell.

"Is that so?" Peter asked raising a brow at Stiles.

"If I was, you both would have been dead the moment I saw you." Stiles answered sharply.

"Hmmm, you have a point, also I couldn't imagine him ever protecting a werewolf. You have two brothers don't you, Shawn and Dean right?" 

"Sam." Stiles corrected.

"Ah, Sam and Dean. How ever did you manage to convince them to help you protect a werewolf? From what I've heard, the oldest Winchester boy is a brutal one, which one is that?" Peter asked.

"Dean does what's necessary." Stiles growled still not letting go of Peter.

"So he decided to protect a werewolf instead of just killing him?" Peter frowned.

Stiles didn't respond. 

"Oh, they don't know that your little boyfriend is an alpha werewolf." Peter grinned.  
"I bet they don't know about Scott, or Lydia...do they even know you were possessed?"

Stiles pressed his arm into Peter's throat harder.

"Perhaps you aren't a Winchester at all." Peter fought to talk around the pressure against his throat.

Stiles glared at Peter but didn't respond.

"Stiles, come on, let's go. He doesn't know anything." Derek grabbed the arm that held Peter in place.

Stiles hesitated, before once again yanking away from Derek. 

Stiles stalked out of the loft without a word. 

"Derek, be careful. I know you say Stiles is different but he's still a hunter, and a Winchester at that." Peter said as Derek headed after Stiles.

Derek stopped, turning towards Peter. "I trust Stiles."

"But do you trust his brothers?" Peter asked.

Derek clenched his jaw.

"I told you falling for Stiles was dangerous then, it's even worse now." Peter said crossing his arms.

"I'm not falling for Stiles." Derek growled.

"You know what I heard just now? I heard the skip of your heart when you said 'I'm not'." Peter smirked.

"Remember what I said, we were never here." Derek growled before walking out.


	21. Travelling companion

Stiles dropped his bag on the queen size bed. They had been able to get a room with two beds this time. 

"Stiles-" 

Stiles put a hand up silencing the alpha.

"Derek, please." Stiles' tone was almost pleading.

Derek nodded before grabbing clothes and stepping into the bathroom.

Stiles paced a bit when he decided he needed a drink. He wrote a quick note for Derek telling him not to wait up. 

Stiles made his way to the bar a block away from the hotel. He'd never been there before and hoped he wouldn't run into anyone he knew.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked as Stiles took a seat. 

"A bourbon, neat." Stiles answered. 

"That's an awfully strong drink for so early in the evening." A guy spoke a seat over from Stiles.

"Trust me, not strong enough for the day I've had." Stiles shook his head.

"That bad huh?" 

"Worse." Stiles chuckled earning a smirk from the guy.

"Theo " The guy stuck his hand out to Stiles.

"Stiles." He responded shaking the guys hand.  

"So Stiles, you from around here?" Theo asked moving over to sit next to Stiles.

"Uh, no, just visiting a family friend." Stiles answered. "You?"

"I lived here a while back, but I'm just visiting as well. Seeing some old friends." Theo responded.

"So where are these friends of yours?" Stiles asked glancing around.

"Oh, I spent the weekend with them, I'm actually heading out tomorrow morning." Theo answered finishing his beer.

"What about you? You drink alone often?" 

"Not usually, but I needed a break from people." Stiles shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to intrude on your alone time." Theo frowned.

"No, it's nice actually. I'm not arguing or yelling for once today." Stiles chuckled.

"Wow, some family friends." Theo raised a brow.

"No, it's...my travelling companion...He's difficult to be around for long periods of time. I've been stuck in a car with him for two days." Stiles tossed the last of his bourbon back.

"Travelling companion?" Theo laughed waving over the bartender.

"Yeah, we're not exactly friends but not exactly enemies. Anyway, my...parents asked me to let him tag along." Stiles lied.

"Can we get two shots of rum and two shots of bourbon?" Theo asked the bartender.

"That was awfully nice of you to agree." Theo grinned at Stiles. It was then Stiles noticed how pretty the guy's smile was.

"Yeah, well I just ditched him in our hotel. I slipped out while he was in the shower. Still think I'm nice?" Stiles scoffed.

"I think you earned a night away." Theo slid the two bourbon shots to Stiles. He grabbed one of the rum shots and held it up.

"To surviving the weekend." 

Stiles grabbed a shot and clanked it against Theo's. The two tossed back the burning liquid.

"Your turn." Theo picked up his other shot.

"To meeting cute strangers." Stiles laughed. Again they tossed back the shots.

"So this travelling companion..." Theo paused.

"Derek." 

"Derek, is he like a dated for a month didn't work out kind of frenemy or we just don't get along but our family's are close kind?"  Theo sucked on a lemon as he waited for Stiles' answer.

"Definitely the latter." Stiles nodded. He was starting to feel the alcohol.

Derek grabbed the note from his bed. 

Went out, don't wait up  -S 

"Could you be any more vague, Stiles?" Derek growled as he tossed the note in the trash. He laid back on the bed and tried not to think about the brown eyed hunter. The panic and guilt he smelled on him at the loft was almost burned into his nostrils. He didn't even think of the memories Beacon Hills would drudge up for Stiles. His possession had been a rough ride and it was Clear Stiles hadn't recovered from the things he'd done. None of it was his fault but he'd killed so many people and hurt so many others that it was hard to tell Stiles not to feel guilty. 

Derek kicked himself for not thinking of that beforehand. And Stiles was refusing any kind of comfort from Derek. Stiles had pulled away from Derek's touch more than once. The werewolf felt the hurt he'd been suppressing all day. He couldn't push it off anymore. He'd hurt Stiles in a way that Derek didn't know how to fix. 

-

Stiles' back pressed against the wall of Theo's hotel room. His mouth currently locked in a heated kiss. Stiles' hands fumbled with the button of Theo's pants. Theo's hands slid up Stiles' shirt lifting it off of him.

"Mmm, you're sexy." Theo bit his lip as he ran his hands down Stiles' chest and to his jeans. He slid his hand in just enough to pull Stiles in closer.

 

Stiles reconnected their lips eagerly. Theo's hands undid Stiles' pants allowing them to meet Theo's on the ground. The hunter pressed himself against Theo feeling his growing erection press against his leg.

"Mmmm." Stiles moaned into Theo's mouth.

Theo pulled back lifting his shirt over his head before pulling Stiles to the bed. He slowly crawled up Stiles as Stiles laid back. 

"Is Derek gonna-" Stiles cut him off with a kiss.

"Don't talk about him." Stiles spoke into Theo's lips. 

Instead of responding Theo slid his fingers in Stiles' hair. 

"Uhhh." Stiles bit his lip as Theo's tongue traced his neck.

Theo slid his boxers down with his free hand earning another throaty moan from Stiles.

"Fuck, Stiles. I wanna feel you around me so bad." Theo growled into Stiles neck.

"Then get inside me already." Stiles demanded in Theo's ear. 

"How about you get on me." Theo grinned as he bit Stiles' bottom lip. 

"Mmmm, yes sir." Stiles moaned before flipping Theo on to his back. 

-

Derek checked his phone for the fourth time, still nothing from Stiles. He'd text him twice and called once in the past hour. It was almost four in the morning and Stiles was still out. He felt sick thinking that something might have happened. 

Derek was about to call Stiles again when he heard the door open. Stiles walked in much to Derek's relief.

"Stiles, where the hell have you been?  I text and called, I was worried-" Derek cut himself off suddenly. The smell hit his nose like a brick to the face. Sex.


	22. I can smell him on you

Derek was frozen in place. He didn't know what to say. He felt the jealousy rip through him and then the anger.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Stiles frowned pulling his gun from his back and pulling his t shirt off to reveal a dark mark at the base of Stiles' throat.

"Who were you with?" Derek demanded, his wolf bristling at the smell of another alpha on Stiles.

"Nobody." Stiles shrugged as he tugged off his jeans.

"Stiles, I can smell him on you." Derek growled. 

"I went to a bar a block away and had a couple drinks." Stiles answered dismissively.

"So what, you lost your pool game this time?" Derek snapped crossing his arms. 

"What? I didn't play any pool." Stiles frowned in confusion. 

"So then you fucked the bartender instead of paying your tab?" Derek snapped again. 

"What are you talking about, Derek?" Stiles huffed not in the mood for one of Derek's cryptic mind games. He was tired and still a little drunk. 

"Stiles, don't act dumb, we both know you're not." Derek growled.

"Derek, I just want to take a shower and go to bed." Stiles sighed.

"Stiles, you can't disappear for almost seven hours and then walk in here smelling like another alpha and not expect me to question it." Derek's eyes flashed briefly as his wolf threatened to come through. It was hard for him to smell anyone on Stiles, much less another alpha.

"Another alpha?" Stiles frowned.

"Please tell me you had the decency not to fuck him in the bathroom." Derek growled again. His jealousy was mixing with his rage.

"How did you...?" Stiles frowned at Derek. Could he really smell the fact that he had slept with Theo?

"Like I said before, I can smell him on you." Derek answered between clenched teeth.

"Oh that's awkward." Stiles said more to himself then to Derek.

 

"Look, I didn't know Theo was a werewolf, much less an alpha." 

"Oh so you did learn his name." Derek quipped irritably. 

"It wasn't like that, Derek. We talked for a while had a few drinks and he offered to walk me back here. It turned out he was staying here too, only a floor down actually. Anyway, he knew I wasn't ready to go back to my room. He invited me in. We talked some more and I made a move." Stiles explained.

Somehow that only made Derek feel worse. Stiles wasn't even claiming it as a drunken mistake. He'd chose to sleep with the guy.

"You couldn't have called or text?" Derek snapped, his tone thick with jealousy.

"I assumed you were asleep or didn't care." Stiles shrugged.

"I called you." Derek growled.

"Yeah...I was uh...busy then." Stiles answered sheepishly. 

"Right." Derek gave a curt nod.

Stiles shifted nervously. As he opened his mouth to say something, Derek cut in.

"Go shower, Stiles." 

Without another word Stiles turned to the bathroom. That's when Derek caught a glimpse of another mark on Stiles' hip. 

Derek turned away, his eyes turning dark crimson. He needed air.

"I'm going out for air." Derek said grabbing his room key.

Stiles only nodded. He felt bad that he'd worried Derek. Stiles didn't think he'd care and he didn't know he'd be able to smell Theo on him, not like that, anyway. And to make matters worse, Theo was a werewolf and an alpha. Could it get any worse? 

Stiles closed the bathroom door and glanced towards the mirror. His hand flew to his neck. Theo had marked him. Derek was sure to have seen that. Stiles groaned as he checked the other spots Theo had marked him. 

Sure enough a dark bite mark sat brightly on his left hip. He dropped his underwear to see an identical mark on his inner right thigh.   
Derek wouldn't have seen that one but the other two were too obvious for Derek's keen senses to miss. 

Stiles frowned again before turning to the shower. He turned the water on extra hot. He had to get as much of Theo's scent off of him as he could, for Derek's sake.

-

Stiles woke the next morning to a pillow being thrown at his head.

"Get up, we're leaving soon. Also your brother called, I told him you were still passed out from a late night. He wants us to check a lead in Washington." Derek said picking up his bag from the floor and setting on his bed.

Derek watched as Stiles pulled himself out of bed and towards the bathroom. He still smelled faintly of the other alpha but it was obvious Stiles had scrubbed hard to get the scent off. Derek actually appreciated that, though neither of them would mention it. 

Derek had been able to relax a little bit the night before, he'd gone to visit the old Hale house. It was a place that made him sad but it also held so many good memories. It was the only place he felt close to his family. Other than Peter, he was the only Hale still alive. Unless you counted Malia who was apparently Peter's daughter. Peter had killed Laura for her alpha status. Then Cora had been poisoned by Derek's ex girlfriend Jennifer. 

Derek hadn't gotten much sleep. It was hard to sleep imagining another alpha touching Stiles. 

Just then there was a knock on thier hotel door. Derek went to reach for the handle but Stiles stopped him silently. He grabbed his gun and chambered it before giving Derek the go ahead to open it.

Derek pulled the door open and was hit with a familiar smell.

"Theo?" Stiles frowned putting his gun away quickly.

"You must be the travelling companion. Derek, right?" Theo smiled at Derek.

"W-what are you doing here?" Stiles asked stepping up beside Derek. 

Theo reached for Stiles neck gently touching the mark that peeked out of his shirt collar. "Sorry about that." Theo blushed.

Derek stifled back a growl.

"Anyway, I know you said you were heading out this morning and wanted to see if you two might want to grab breakfast?" Theo flashed another smile at Stiles. 

 

"That sounds great." Stiles grinned.

"Stiles." Derek growled.

"What?" Stiles frowned at Derek.  
"Oh, right two alphas." Stiles bit his lip. 

"You know?" Theo frowned.

"Well I didn't until I got back and Derek told me, but yes." Stiles answered. 

"I didn't realize you were aware. I smelled an alpha on you but I knew it wasn't you. When you mentioned Derek, I thought maybe, but I couldn't be sure." Theo glanced at Derek. 

"Can two alphas be civil over pancakes?" Stiles asked glancing between Theo and Derek.

"This isn't my territory." Theo shook his head.

"Derek?" Stiles asked. 

"It's not mine either." Derek growled.

"Well, it kind of is." Stiles shrugged.  
"It was before Scott." 

"You know Scott?" Theo asked looking at Stiles.

"No. No, I...know...of Scott." Stiles answered awkwardly and a little quickly.

Derek let out a sigh and rolled his eyes towards Stiles. 

"What?" Stiles looked at Derek.

"When are you gonna learn you can't lie to a werewolf?" Derek huffed going back into the room to grab their bags.

"Right." Stiles cringed slightly at Theo who was grinning at the hunter. 

"It's fine, your business is your own." Theo shook his head slightly. 

Derek glared as he shoved Stiles' bag at him.

"I'll carry that." Theo said grabbing Stiles' bag from him.

Derek clenched his jaw fighting the jealousy he was feeling as Stiles smiled a little too fondly at Theo. 

Theo would be able to smell it if he wasn't careful.


	23. Jealousy

Derek ate his eggs silently as Stiles and Theo talked. Theo told Stiles how he got turned. Stiles told Theo about him living in Beacon Hills briefly. Derek couldn't care less. He was ready to leave.

"Do you think you'd ever come back?" Theo asked around a bite of pancake.

"Like as in live here again?" Stiles asked.

Theo nodded. 

Stiles immediately shook his head. "I don't belong here." 

"That's a shame. I was going to say if you ever moved back I'd have a reason to as well." Theo grinned at Stiles who blushed slightly. 

Derek fought to ignore the jealousy creeping up.

"You never mentioned where you're  from." Stiles looked at Theo.

"Well originally here but I currently live in New York. Not much for Cali weather." Theo grinned earning a chuckle from Stiles. 

"What about you?" 

"Uh, Kansas." Stiles answered. 

"Oh, so you're only a day away." Theo said with a large smile.

"Perhaps we'll run into each other at some bar again." Stiles smirked.

"I could never get that lucky twice." Theo shook his head.

Stiles bit his bottom lip trying to keep the blush from reaching his cheeks. 

Derek felt his control slipping. The way Theo was flirting annoyed Derek but the way Stiles was responding to it was killing him. 

"But seriously if you ever come through New York, look me up." Theo put an affectionate hand on Stiles'.

"I'd like to show you off to my pack." Theo winked.

"Oh, I got the acceptance to meet the pack, I didn't know this would get serious so quick." Stiles teased. 

Derek had had enough. His jealousy was causing his wolf to bristle beneath his skin.

"Careful bringing a Winchester to meet the pack, hunters and wolves don't tend to get along." Derek sneered.

"Winchester?" Theo frowned. 

"Wait, you're a hunter?" Theo asked taken aback. 

"Oh did he forget to mention that last night? Don't feel bad, he didn't tell me for two years. Of course I never had my dick in his ass." Derek snapped.

Theo's jaw dropped slightly at Derek's outburst.

"Derek." Stiles snapped.

"What? It's true. I figured if you're screwing the guy he should at least know that." Derek jeered.

"Are you seriously still pissed about that?" Stiles huffed. 

"Considering I trusted you with my life and more importantly my pack's life, yes, I'm 'still pissed about that'." Derek growled.

"I never did anything to put you or the pack in jeopardy. You know I would have taken a bullet for them and for you." Stiles snapped.

"Tell that to Allison and Aiden." Derek barked. 

Stiles' breath hitched and the anger slipped from his expression.   
  

 

Derek immediately regretted saying that. He knew it wasn't Stiles' fault. He was just upset and he lashed out when he was upset.

Derek was hit with a strong scent of guilt and dissapointment making him regret it even more.

"Stiles, I'm sorry, I-" But before Derek could finish Stiles had stalked out of the restaurant.

"Fuck." Derek swore dropping his head into his hands. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't realize you and Stiles...well that you...I didn't mean to intrude." Theo stumbled over his apology. 

"It's not your fault." Derek huffed.

"You clearly have feelings for him, and it sounds like you were close once. Why don't you tell him how you feel?" Theo shrugged.

"We didn't end things on good terms. I couldn't handle my feelings for him and I bailed. I skipped town and he never heard from me again." Derek rubbed his temples stressfully.

"You came back though." Theo said encouragingly.

"No, his brothers saved my life. They insisted I be under their protection. Stiles was the last person I expected to see. His brother's don't know what I am. He was pissed cause I left and I was pissed he was a hunter and never told me." Derek shook his head.

"He doesn't fit the description of a Winchester. I've heard they're malicious and unforgiving. Stiles didn't bat an eye at the fact that I was a werewolf, much less an alpha. He ate breakfast with us as if we weren't able to rip his throat out in a half second. He's funny and sweet and caring and passionate-"

"Yes, I get it." Derek snapped. "Trust me I'm well aware of how amazing he is." 

Theo shut his mouth with a nod.

"I'm gonna go say goodbye and be on my way. I'm sorry again for encroaching on your territory." Theo gave a sympathetic smile. 

"Don't be, Stiles isn't mine. He did what he did cause he wanted to. I couldn't have stopped him." Derek glared down at his empty plate.

"Breakfast is on me, I'll get it on my way out. And Derek, tell him, before you lose him for good." Theo gave a curt nod at a frowning Derek, before walking off.

"Stiles." Theo walked over to Stiles who looked up with blank expression. Stiles was good at putting on a front but Theo could smell the hurt and guilt. 

"I'm really sorry about that, Theo. Derek can be...frustrating." Stiles clenched his jaw at the last word.

"Stiles, don't be so hard on him. I'm an alpha and he's protective of you. If I was in his place, I wouldn't be any better." Theo gave a sympathetic smile putting a gentle hand on Stiles' arm.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Stiles dropped his eyes in guilt. 

"You had no reason to tell me. You didn't know what I was. Those aren't exactly good conversation starters." Theo smiled earning a grin from Stiles.

"Plus it's a fun story to tell the pack." Theo winked earning a larger grin from Stiles.

Derek watched with sad eyes as Stiles smiled at Theo. The fact that Stiles would never look at him the way he looked at Theo hurt him deeper than he'd like to admit. 

Derek averted his eyes when Stiles pulled Theo into a sweet but quick kiss before Theo walked away.

Derek hesitated to go out there, he would have to face Stiles at some point but he didn't know if he could bear it.


	24. I forgive you

Derek climbed into the passengers side of Stiles car. 

Stiles started the car without a word. 

"Stiles, look, I didn't mean-"

"It doesn't matter." Stiles cut in.

"Yes it does. That was harsh and uncalled for. It wasn't your fault and I shouldn't have said that. I was mad and jealous." Derek glared at the dashboard.

"Jealous of what?" Stiles snapped.

"Theo. He's an alpha and you and him were..." Derek paused, taking a deep breath.

"Wait, you were jealous because I was being friendly with another alpha?" Stiles frowned at Derek in disbelief.

"I don't think you understand what it does to an alpha when a pack member is close with another alpha. It's the equivalent of a significant other cheating on you." Derek explained.

Stiles frowned. "But I'm not a pack member."

Derek sighed. "Yes you are, Stiles. You always were and I will always feel...protective of you." Derek worded his sentence carefully.

"Why didn't you just say something instead of being an ass?" Stiles continued to frown at Derek.

Derek looked at Stiles finally. "I was trying to not let it bother me. I know you don't feel..." Derek paused. 

"The same way?" Stiles raised his brows.

"I was gonna word it differently." Derek frowned.

"I don't feel any differently than I did before you left." Stiles answered quietly. 

"You're pretty pissed I left." Derek pointed out.

"You're pretty pissed I'm a hunter." Stiles shrugged.

"No, I'm pissed you lied. I trusted Allison once I got used to the idea." Derek disagreed.

"So we're both pissed at one another but we both still..." Stiles paused trying to think of the right term.

"Care?" Stiles frowned cocking his head slightly.

Derek nodded also frowning. "Care works."

"So...does that mean we..." Stiles paused again.

"Go back to the way things were?" Derek asked raising his brows at Stiles. 

"I think we should make a rule, you promise not to leave again and I promise never to lie again." Stiles looked at Derek.

"I think that's fair." Derek nodded.

"Okay, then I forgive you for taking off." Stiles said matter of factly.

"Alright, I forgive you for lying about who you were." Derek gave a curt nod. 

Neither of them looked at each other as they spoke.

"Would it be too much to ask you to forgive me for bringing up Allison and Aiden?" Derek asked tossing a glance at Stiles. 

Stiles stayed quiet for a moment causing Derek to feel even more guilty.

"If you promise not to bring up Beacon Hills or anything that happened there." Stiles looked over at Derek.

"Deal." Derek agreed feeling relieved. 

At that moment Stiles' phone rang through the car.

"Hey, bro." Stiles answered.

"Hey, so change of plans. We're going to meet you in Missoula Montana. We think Asmodeous has Crowley there. And I have a feeling if anyone will know about this box it'll be him." Dean spoke.

"Okay, sounds good." Stiles answered.

"So Derek said you had a late night last night." Dean said in a teasing tone.

"Dean, don't." Stiles rolled his eyes though Dean couldn't see.

"Well tell me about it. Was it Derek? Please tell me it was Derek." Dean asked eagerly.

"No." Stiles huffed. "Why do you want me to sleep with Derek so bad?" 

"Cause, I like him. Sam likes him and Cas likes him. We've never liked anyone you've brought home." Dean answered.

"You're the one who brought Derek home." Stiles pointed out. 

"Which we're all very upset we didn't meet him earlier." Dean sounded offended.

"But anyway, so if it wasn't Derek, then who?" Dean asked for details once more.

"Nobody." Stiles huffed.

"Come on, was it a guy or girl?" Dean pressed.

"Dean." Stiles groaned.

"You gotta give me something, Stiles." Dean whined.

"Fine you want to know something, He was a werewolf." Stiles said tossing a grin at Derek, who raised his brows at the hunter.

"Not funny, Stiles." Dean huffed.

"Who says I was joking?" Stiles smirked.

"If I ever find out you slept with a werewolf, I would hunt him down and make you watch me kill him." Dean growled.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "What so you're the only one allowed to sleep with a supernatural being?" 

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked obviously confused. 

"Cas." Stiles responded as if it was obvious. 

"A, I'm not sleeping with Cas. B, Cas is an angel." Dean argued.

"You said it yourself, you'd rather hunt a pack of werewolves or a whole nest of vampires than deal with angels." Stiles countered.

"You're as infuriating as Sammy." Dean scoffed causing Stiles to laugh. The sound was like music to Derek's ears. 

 

He had forgotten how much he adored Stiles' laugh. He looked over at the hunter. He was relieved he and Stiles had come to an understanding. It relaxed him to know that Stiles was accepting Derek as his alpha again.


	25. Don't get dead

Dean laid out the plans Sam had printed of the old Fedora plantation. 

"Alright, so we'll go in from these two points." Dean pointed at the map now splayed out across the hood of Baby.

"Derek and Cas will go with Stiles through the basement. Sam and I will sneak through the first floor. There will probably be demons guarding every entrance so we'll have to take them out quickly. The quieter we are the less attention we attract. Our goal is to get Crowley out as quickly and quietly as possible. Keep your guard up." Dean spoke seriously. 

"Everyone keep your phone's on you and make sure your GPS is on so if we get split up we can find each other." Sam added wiggling his cellphone. 

"When we're done, we leave as quickly as possible, they'll be looking for us as soon as they realize he's missing." Dean closed the map of the house.

"Okay, we all clear?" Dean looked around at the others. Everyone nodded.

"Cas, Stiles, please don't do anything stupid." Dean pleaded.

"Why are you targeting us?" Stiles asked, offended.

"You two make stupid decisions regularly."

"Not true " Stiles argued with his oldest brother.

"Stiles, you thought it would be a good idea to Molotov the wraith we fought the other week. You ended up catching a bush on fire and lost your gun in the process." Sam pointed out.

"Okay, you told me to distract it, I figured pissing it off would be a good way to do that, I thought, what would piss me off? I'd be pretty damn pissed if someone threw a Molotov cocktail at me. I didn't mean to catch the bush on fire, and I was trying to get out of the bush I'd just caught on fire and my gun fell out in my scramble." Stiles explained defensively.

Derek felt a smile tug at his lips. That was such a Stiles response. 

"Derek, keep an eye on these two, please." Dean turned to the alpha.

"I'm used to wrangling this one." Derek nodded towards Stiles.  
"I'll do my best with him." He looked towards Cas.

Dean patted Derek's shoulder. "Alright, try not to get dead." 

"You too." Stiles nodded as they split up.

"Try not to get dead?" Derek raised a brow at Stiles.

"It's our way of saying be careful." Stiles shrugged. 

"Touching." Derek joked gently.

"Dean doesn't like chick flik moments." Stiles laughed quietly.

"Cas, are you up for this?" Stiles asked noticing Cas lagging a bit.

"Yes, I'm fine." Cas nodded.

"He's lying." Derek said quietly as he caught the jump in Cas' heartbeat. 

"Cas, if you're not up for this, you can wait by the car. Derek and I can handle this." Stiles offered. He knew Cas wasn't at full power without his grace and Sam had mentioned the grace he did have was fading out.

"I'm not leaving you, Stiles." Cas shook his head sternly.

"I want to help."

Stiles nodded. He understood being shoved to the side lines when all he wanted was to help.

"Okay, there are two demons to the left and two to the right. Derek, you go left, I go right. Cas, you take care of the one at the door." Stiles spoke peering over a set of bushes.

Derek and Cas nodded. 

Stiles snuck around to the side. He walked up beside them quietly. They were busy talking so they didn't notice him at first. He shoved his blade into one's side and then immediately grabbed the other one's arm before he could flee his host. 

"What the...?" The demon looked confused.

Stiles held up his hand, drawn in sharpie was a devil's trap. He grinned before thrusting his blade into the demon.

 

Derek made a low growl from the bushes at the side of the two demons.

"Did you hear that?" One demon asked the other. 

"Yeah, I'll go check it out." The other demon nodded walking towards Derek. 

As soon as the demon stepped behind the bush Derek pushed his angel blade into him. He then snuck around coming up beside the second demon who was looking intently towards where the first had gone. Derek stuck him in the back quickly. 

Stiles and Derek peered around to see Cas walk up to the demon and shove his blade through him.

"How did you just walk up to him?" Derek frowned when he reached Cas. 

"I hid myself. Angel trick." Cas smiled proudly.

"Handy." Derek nodded.

"Stiles, the door is triple locked, I can't break in." Cas said turning to the youngest Winchester.

"Derek?" Stiles looked at the werewolf.

"I can try." Derek shrugged. He gripped the handle and twisted. The first lock snapped allowing the handle to move freely. 

"I don't know that I can break the other two without attracting attention." Derek frowned at the door. 

"There's a window up there, you could see if it's open." Cas said looking up.

"Okay, if anything happens meet behind the bushes." Stiles nodded.

"Derek, give me a lift." 

Derek knelt allowing Stiles to step on his shoulders. He lifted him effortlessly. 

Stiles peered in to see an empty room. He carefully tried to lift the window. Thankfully it gave. 

Stiles pulled himself up onto the window sill with Derek's help from below.

"Don't get dead." Derek whispered loudly. 

Stiles smiled down before disappearing.

"Okay, I think I'm on the first floor." Stiles whispered knowing Derek could hear him.

"I'm gonna try to get down there and let you in." 

Derek turned to Cas.

"He thinks he's on the first floor. He's gonna try to let us in." 

"He's talking to you?" Cas asked.

Derek nodded. "Yeah, he knows I can hear him." 

"Handy." Cas nodded earning a smirk from the alpha.

 

Stiles carefully opened the door to see a long hallway. He glanced around for any sign or demons. Nothing.

He stepped silently as he made his way to the top of the set of Stairs. He stopped short when he heard a familiar voice.

"How long do I have to stay here? This is ridiculous. The Winchesters don't care enough to come looking for me. They would have found me already." Crowleys voice sounded from up the next set of stairs.

Stiles decided to get Crowley first. That was the objective. 

Stiles followed the complaining down the hall. It was empty. He reached the room Crowley was talking in. 

He was obviously talking to someone. He only prayed it wasn't Asmodeous. 

He knocked on the door, his blade at the ready.

As soon as the door opened, Stiles thrust the silver shaft into the demon.

He then quickly stepped in closing the door behind him. 

"Fox?" Crowley asked, surprised to the the youngest Winchester. 

"Shhh, come on." Stiles broke the devil's trap Crowley was trapped in. He untied him from the chair.

"Get us out of here." Stiles ordered. 

Crowley gripped Stiles' shoulders tightly.

Stiles felt his stomach churn and then he was standing in the bushes at the back of the house. 

"I have to text Sam." Stiles said pulling out his phone. 

 

"Dean, wait." Sam grabbed his brother as Dean tried another window. Locked.

"Stiles got him." Sam read the text from their brother.

"That was fast." Dean said with a frown.

 

Stiles waited for a response from Sam and Derek. He almost immediately got one from Sam. Stiles tapped anxiously waiting on the one from Derek.

He peered through the bushes to where he'd left him and Cas. They weren't there. 

"Damn it, Derek, where are you?" Stiles hissed, hoping the alpha heard him. 

"Stiles?" Stiles turned to see Sam and Dean come around another bush.

"Moose, Squirrel." Crowley grinned at the brothers. 

Dean patted Crowleys shoulder in response.

"Have you seen Cas or Derek?" Stiles asked immediately. 

"What do you mean? They were supposed to be with you." Dean snapped. 

"We couldn't get in. Derek helped into a window on the first floor. I was gonna go down and let them in the door, but I heard Crowley." Stiles explained. 

"Derek's not responding to my texts, neither is Cas." Stiles glanced down at his phone again. 

Dean swore as he pulled his phone from his pocket and Dialed Cas' number. 

"Come on, Cas." Dean grumbled as it continued to ring. 

"Damn it." Dean hung up once he heard the familiar voicemail. He immediately dialed Derek.

"Hello?" Derek answered after a moment. 

"Derek, where the hell are you?" Dean demanded.

"Oh we just ran into some demons but we're fine. Where are you? We'll head that way." Derek responded. 

"We're where we started." Dean answered. 

"Okay, we'll be right there assuming we don't run into anymore of those damn savages." Derek chuckled.

"Okay, stay alert." Dean hung up the phone. 

"What happened?" Stiles asked.

"They ran into a couple demons. They're gonna meet us here." Dean answered.

"Why did you say we're where we started?" Stiles asked.

"Derek asked where we were." Dean answered with a shrug. 

"He should have known. I told him to meet here if anything happened." Stiles frowned.

"He seemed fine on the phone. He even made a small joke." Dean said looking at a concerned Stiles. 

"A joke?" Stiles asked in surprise. Derek didn't joke.

"What kind of joke." Stiles pressed.

"He called demons savages. Why are you so worried?" Dean frowned.

Stiles froze. "Savages." 

Dean nodded. "Yeah, he said-"

Stiles cut him off abruptly. "Savage is our code word, Derek's in trouble."


	26. Kill Derek

"What do you mean Derek's in trouble?" Dean asked suddenly concerned.

"Savage is our code word, I told you." Stiles snapped as he went to step around the bush.

"Whoa, where are you going?" Dean grabbed Stiles shoulder.

"Derek's in trouble, that means Cas is too." Stiles said turning to his oldest brother. 

"You three may be okay with going back in there, but I'm not. They had me tied to a bloody chair." Crowley shook his head.

"Crowleys right, they're gonna want him back." Sam agreed.

"I'm not leaving Derek." Stiles snapped.

"Of course not, but maybe I should take Crowley and head to the bunker." Sam suggested looking between his brothers. 

"Here, take my car." Stiles handed his keys to Sam.

"You two-"

"We'll be fine." Dean cut Sam off.

Sam nodded before he and Crowley headed towards the cars.

"Any idea where they could be?" Stiles asked looking at Dean.

"My guess is inside somewhere. Where was Crowley?" Dean asked as he followed Stiles towards the house.

"He was in a random room on the top floor." Stiles answered.

"They had three locks on the basement door, there has to be a reason for that, right?" Stiles asked.

"It seems like it but how are we gonna get in?" Dean neared the basement door.

Dean turned the handle. The door opened easily.

Dean and Stiles exchanged knowing looks as they gripped their weapons.

Dean stepped in with Stiles on his heels. 

"Stiles, don't." Derek's voice spoke from inside another door.

Dean gave Stiles a nod before kicking in the door.

At that moment Cas let out a cry. 

A demon had a knife stabbed in Cas' side.

"Cas." Dean called to his angel worriedly.

"Come any closer and he gets another one." The demon sneered tracing Cas' bare side with another knife. 

Dean stopped in his tracks. "Let him go." 

"Well see, I was given strict orders to kill one of them or trade both of them for Crowley." The demon smirked.

Dean glanced at Derek who was also tied up shirtless with a knife in his side.

"Crowleys gone." Dean growled.

"Then one of them has to die." The demon shrugged.

"Listen here you son of a bitch-"

"Dean." Stiles grabbed his brothers arm before he could take a step.

"Kill Derek." Stiles said in a serious tone looking at the demon.

"What? Stiles, what are you doing?" Dean snapped his head towards his brother.

"We don't have to worry about what he knows falling into the wrong hands." Stiles shrugged.

"Yeah, cause he'll be dead." Dean looked at Stiles like he was crazy.

"So what, it's not like any of us truly care about him." Stiles shrugged.

"Kill Derek and give us Cas." Stiles said turning back to the demon.

"So be it." The demon released Cas from his binds before shoving him towards Dean who caught the injured angel in his arms.

"You're free to go." The demon dismissed them.

"Not so fast. The agreement was you kill Derek. We're not gonna leave him here alive." Stiles took a step forward.

"You're really okay with him dying?" The demon asked doubtfully.

"If he's dead neither of us find out what he knows. The only reason we were 'protecting' him was so he didn't end up helping you guys." Stiles shrugged.

Derek looked at Stiles with a look of disbeleif. His heart didn't skip or race. He truly didn't care if Derek died.

The demon narrowed his eyes at Stiles. "I don't believe you."

"Would you like me to shove this into his side as proof?" Stiles asked holding up his angel blade. 

"Fine." The demon smirked. He didn't believe Stiles would do it.

Stiles smiled as he walked towards Derek.

"Stiles, don't." Cas pleaded quietly but Stiles ignored him.

Derek looked at Stiles for any hint of concern or hesitation, but there was none.

"Stiles." Derek intended for it to come out as a growl but the betrayal and pain he felt came through instead.

"Don't look so surprised Derek, you can't possibly think I ever cared for you." Stiles smiled. 

Derek tugged at his ropes but they were soaked in wolfsbane, as was the knife in his side.

Stiles suddenly pulled another angel blade from his hip and while not looking away from Derek, he shoved each of his blades through the skulls of the demons that stood on either side of Derek. He then sliced at the ropes that were holding Derek up. Derek fell forward into Stiles.

"I've got you." Stiles said as he wrapped his arms around his alpha.

Dean is taken care of the other two demons once he realized what Stiles had done. 

The first demon had already fled.

Stiles pulled the knife from Derek's side.

"Are you okay? How bad is it?" Stiles asked. Before he could investigate Derek pushed Stiles back.

"Get away from me. It's not like you actually care." Derek snapped.

"Of course I care, Derek, I didn't mean any of those things I said, you have to know that?" Stiles frowned at Derek with hurt in his eyes.

"You weren't lying." Derek glared at Stiles as he held his side.

"Of course I was. I just knew that would work. Derek, you have to believe me." Stiles tried again to reach for Derek.

"Believe you? How can I possibly believe you?  You've lied to me before." Derek growled.

"You said you forgave me." Stiles said, his tone full of hurt.

"I had, until I heard your little spiel." Derek snapped.

"Derek, look at me." Stiles reached for Derek's cheek.

Derek grabbed his wrist. His eyes met the familiar whiskey color of Stiles'.  
Neither one moved as they looked at each other.

"I swear to you, I didn't mean a word of that. After everything we've been through together, how could I not care about you? I had to get both you and Cas out safely. You know I always have a plan." Stiles spoke sincerely.

Derek's lips parted slightly as if he was about to say something, but he paused. He wanted to believe Stiles so bad but his heart hadn't skipped a single beat.

"I heard your heartbeat." Derek said quietly not wanting to argue against Stiles' words. He just wanted them to be true. 

"Because It was part of my plan, I knew it would work. Demons are stupid. I had no reason to be nervous." Stiles smiled slightly.

"Listen to it now." Stiles grabbed Derek's hand, pressing it to his chest.

"You, Derek, are one of the few people I truly care about in this world. You are the best frienemy I could ever ask for. There is no one I'd rather argue with or be pissed at or risk my life for." Stiles held his hand over Derek's as he spoke.

Derek didn't feel or hear a single skip or stutter.

"Do you believe me?" Stiles asked hopefully. 

Derek only nodded. 

Stiles let out a sigh of relief as he released Derek's cheek causing Derek to release his wrist.

Derek glanced at Stiles' lips. He desperately wanted to kiss him. But before he could decide if it would be  bad idea or not Dean spoke up.

"Hey, I've got Cas holding pressure on his side. How's Derek?" Dean knelt down next to Stiles.

"I'll be okay. It's not too serious." Derek said going to stand up. Stiles slipped an arm around him to help stable him. He knew the knife and ropes had been doused in wolfsbane and that weakend Derek. 

"You got him, Stiles?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, get Cas and let's get the hell out of here." Stiles nodded gripping Derek tighter.

The werewolf leaned into Stiles allowing his scent to calm him. Stiles had a way of doing that.


	27. Panic attack

Stiles sat in the back with Derek on the ride back home. Derek slept most of the way. The wolfsbane had really taken it out of him. 

"So when did you and Derek make your own code word?" Dean asked once Derek and Cas had been asleep for a while.

"It was back in Beacon Hills. It wasn't so much as a code word as I was trying to tell him something without saying it. It didn't work. But we discussed in afterwards. Then when you mentioned he'd said that, I knew that had to mean something." Stiles explained vaguely. 

"You had me going there for a minute back there, I thought you were really gonna let them kill Derek."

 

"I knew Cas was struggling and he needed to be safe. I just needed to get him to safety so I could make my move. I didn't want him getting hurt anymore." Stiles shrugged.

"Thank you, for getting Cas out of that. It killed me to see him like that." Dean frowned, Stiles could see it in the mirror.

Stiles glanced at Derek with a sigh.

"He really means a lot to you, doesn't he?" Dean asked his eyes meeting Stiles in the rear view mirror.

Stiles dropped his eyes to his lap. 

"It's okay, Stiles, you're allowed to care for someone." Dean said sympathetically.

"No, too many people I've cared about has gotten hurt because of me." Stiles shook his head, his voice quiet and strained. 

Dean didn't respond. He knew Stiles was right. It had taken him a while to accept the fact that he cared for Cas. Even now he was so concerned for Cas it drove Dean nuts. 

 

-

Derek woke to Stiles' gentle nudges.

"Hey big guy, we're home." 

Derek sat up straight suddenly very alert.

"Whoa, hey, it's okay." Stiles touched Derek's shoulder gently. 

"How long was I out?" Derek frowned.

"Almost a solid twelve hours." Stiles answered as he climbed out of the car.

Derek huffed as he followed suit.

"I didn't mean to sleep that long." 

"You obviously needed the rest." Stiles shrugged. 

"Squirrel, fox, you're back. And I see you both rescued you're little pets." Crowley greeted with a grin as they walked in.

"So this is Crowley?" Derek asked Stiles quietly. 

"Aka, the king of hell." Crowley added bowing his head slightly. 

"Cas, Derek, are you two okay?" Sam asked pulling Cas into a gentle hug.

"We're okay, thanks to Stiles." Cas spoke turning to the youngest Winchester.

"I didn't get the chance to thank you for saving me." Cas placed a hand on Stiles' shoulder.

"Just doing my job, Cas." Stiles grinned at the angel.

"So you're the infamous Derek." Crowley looked Derek over slowly.

"Stop checking him out, Crowley." Dean huffed.

"I'm sorry Dean, am I making you jealous?" Crowley winked at the hunter.

Dean rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, let's get to business." Sam cut in then.

"Crowley knows what the weapon is. He said it's a Japanese spirit of chaos." 

"A what?" Stiles snapped his attention from Derek's cut.

"A Japanese spirit of chaos. Apparently it feeds of chaos, strife and pain." Sam answered.

Stiles stood frozen.

"They're planning to use it on Stiles to distract us." Sam said looking at Dean.

Derek immediately looked at Stiles who had paled and looked like he might throw up.

Stiles suddenly couldn't breathe. His heart sped up and his vision started to waver. He gripped the chair nearby but only succeeded in knocking it over. 

He fought for composure but the images of what he'd done and how he'd felt when possessed, flooded his oxygen starved brain.

The knife he'd thrust into Scott. The chaos and pain he'd absorbed. The cry of Lydia screaming Allison's name as she was killed. The sorrow Ethan felt as he held his brother as he took his dying breath. The manipulation. The anger. The violence. 

Stiles stumbled backwards. Derek caught him before he could hit the ground. 

"Stiles?" Dean rushed to his brother's side with Sam on his heels.

"What's wrongwith him?" Dean demanded.

"He had a panic attack." Derek answered. 

"A panic attack? He's always been cool and level headed. It has to be something else." Sam shook his head.

"I suppose you two are unfamiliar with the nogitsune then." Crowley smirked. Derek glared at the demon.

"Is that like a kitsune?" Sam frowned.

"Oh much worse." Crowley grinned. 

Just then Stiles stirred. 

"Stiles?" Derek's voice spoke gently as he wiped a few strands of hair from Stiles' sweat ridden forehead.

"Derek?" Stiles mumbled gripping the werewolf's shirt.

"Yeah, it's me, I'm here, I've got you." Derek nodded holding Stiles against his chest. He looked up at Cas who had approached them.

"He's unwell." Cas knelt beside Stiles.

"Unwell? He was fine five minutes ago." Dean snapped.

"His soul I mean. I believe his soul is unwell." Cas frowned at the young hunter.

"What does that mean, Cas?" Dean snapped again. 

"It's nothing to concern yourself with. He will heal, he just needs time. I felt he was off upon his arrival but I could not place it. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to touch his soul without causing damage. I could tell you how it was unwell but I won't risk it." Cas explained. 

"Perhaps you should ask his pet wolf." Crowley suggested.

Derek snapped his head towards Crowley, he wanted to rip his throat out.

"Derek, do you know something?" Sam asked looking at Derek with a frown. 

Derek clenched his jaw before looking down at the hunter in his arms. "It's not my place to say." 

"If you know what's going on, you damn well better say." Dean snapped.

"I told you he had a panic attack." Derek growled. 

"There's something you're not telling us, what is it?" Dean demanded.

"It is not my place to say." Derek snapped. He held on to Stiles carefully pulling the pain he felt without Sam or Dean noticing. 

Stiles sat up then slowly. 

"Stiles are you okay?" Sam asked worriedly.

Stiles looked at Derek with a look of sadness that Derek wanted so desperately to wipe away. 

"I think we need to talk." Stiles sighed looking down at his hands.


	28. Possessed

Dean paced the main room of the bunker. 

"You didn't think to call us?" Dean snapped at Stiles who had given his brothers a quick rundown of his possession.

"I was possessed, I wasn't in control of anything I did." Stiles huffed tiredly.

"How did you even get possessed?" Dean snapped again.

"I told you, we don't know." Stiles shrugged. Derek heard the lie but remained quiet. He'd let Stiles do all the talking. 

"How can you not know?" Dean snapped.  
"You should have called as soon as anything weird started to happen." 

Dean was obviously pissed.

"It wasn't a gradual thing, it just happened." Stiles huffed again. 

"You could have died." Sam pointed out gently. 

"Yeah, I get it, but I could die tomorrow or on our next hunt or by choking on a damn french fry." Stiles stood up abruptly, causing Derek to stand as well. He reached to help steady Stiles in case he needed help.

"Stop, Derek, I'm not gonna fucking break." Stiles snapped jerking away from the alpha. 

"Stiles." Dean sighed trying to reach for his brother as he walked out the door. 

Stiles ignored Dean as he disappeared down the hall. 

"Give him time to calm down, it was a hard time for him." Derek suggested.

"Dean, you can't be mad at him. He's a hunter, he's not gonna call us at the first sign of a ghost. He said he wasn't in control. I think he would have called if he could have." Sam spoke calmly as his older brother stewed.

"He neglected to tell us after. He stayed there for another six months. He's been home for another six months. Not a word. In fact he barely talks about Beacon Hills at all." Dean was yelling.

"We never even heard him mutter Derek's name once." 

"You heard Derek, he went through a lot during his possession, maybe he was trying to forget it ever happened." Sam shrugged.  
"Or maybe he was afraid you'd act like you are now." 

Dean turned to Sam. "I'm trying to keep him safe. I can't do that if he keeps things from us." Dean growled. 

"You sound like dad." Sam glared at Dean. 

"Well maybe that's a good thing." Dean snapped.

"Dad's methods might have worked on you and even a bit on me but they didn't work on Stiles. Do you want him to hate you like he did dad? Cause right now he is scared and hurting and all you're doing is pissing him off and pushing him away." Sam was standing now.

"If you keep reacting like this, he's gonna continue to keep things from us. We don't know anything about this thing, or how to kill it. Stiles does but he obviously has a hard time talking about it." Sam pointed out.

"Again, you might want to ask the pet wolf." Crowley spoke up again.

"What is with you and giving everyone animal names?" Dean snapped, not in the mood for Crowleys jokes.

Before Crowley could respond, Cas stepped in. 

"I think we need to worry about where this weapon is. If we can get to it first we can prevent it from being used on Stiles again." 

Derek felt his wolf relax slightly. Crowley was going to blow his cover If he kept going.

"Argent." Derek said suddenly.   
"He sent a guy to get rid of it after it was trapped. He might know where he is and what he did with it. That's the box their talking about, it has to be. It's a small round wooden box." 

"That's a start." Sam nodded.

"Argent knew?" Dean growled. 

"Dean, you have to let it go. Stiles is okay, it's over." Cas lifted Dean's chin so he could look into his favorite hunters eyes. 

Dean sighed slightly. "I sent him there, Cas, it was my idea. He went through that because of me." Dean dropped his head in shame. 

"Stiles doesn't blame you. He understood and he tried to live a normal life but he said something that I think you'd agree with. You can take the hunter out of hunting, but you can't take hunting out of the hunter." Derek spoke up.

Dean looked up at Derek. "You helped him didn't you? That's why you're so important to him." 

Derek frowned slightly. "Not as much as I would have liked. I refused to let him die, no matter what, even when he was gonna kill me, I knew Stiles was still in there." 

"You sound like a bloody Winchester." Crowley said rolling his eyes.

"You're right, he does." Dean nodded looking at Derek curiously. 

"You and Stiles...you two really never dated?" 

Derek shook his head. "No." 

"You two ever kiss, hold hands, look at each other longingly?" Dean pressed.

"No, Dean, Stiles and I have never done anything like that. That's not the kind of relationship we have." Derek shook his head, it hurt to admit out loud.

"Hope you're not holding out for this one. If so get in line." Crowley smirked at Dean.

"Did you two...?" Derek looked between Crowley and Dean.

"No."

"Once." 

Dean and Crowley both answered at the same time.

"Dean doesn't like to talk about it." Crowley winked at Derek.

Derek suddenly smelt jealousy heavily in the air. Derek turned to look at Cas who looked like he couldn't be less interested in hear any more about Dean and Crowley.

So Cas had feelings for Dean. Derek looked at a blushing Dean who snuck a glance at Cas.

"It was my brief time as a demon." Dean explained gently.

"And what a time that was." Crowley smiled widely. 

Derek raised a brow at Dean. Dean had been a demon? Derek couldn't imagine it.

"It's a long story." Dean said dismissively when he saw the look Derek was giving him.

Derek smiled to himself. He could see so many mannerisms Stiles shared with his brothers. He was stubborn like Dean and caring like Sam. He had Dean's temper but also Sam's calm demeanour. Luckily he seemed as resilient as both of them, something Derek was thankful for. He looked towards the hall Stiles had disappeared down. 

 

 

Stiles laid on his bed trying to block out the memories of the things he had done. The way he loved the sound of painful cries. The satisfaction of causing an argument between Derek, Argent and the Sheriff. The enjoyment he got from stabbing Scott. 

Stiles gripped his head pulling at his hair as if he could rip the memories from his mind. 

What's something everyone has but no one can lose?

That phrase had been echoed in his head for weeks. He felt nauseous at the thought of going through all of that again.

"Stiles?" Derek tapped on Stiles' cracked door. 

Derek peeked his head in to see Stiles laying on his bed.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked cautiously as he stepped into the room.

"No." Stiles' voice broke slightly, causing Derek's heart to break.

"Listen to me." Derek pulled Stiles up into a sitting position, taking a seat next to him.

"I will do everything I can to keep you from going through again." Derek looked at Stiles' sad eyes.

"I can't hurt anyone else. I can't hurt Sam or Dean, or You and Cas. I-" Stiles cut himself off trying not to cry.

Derek pulled Stiles into him wrapping his arms around the hunter.

"I promise no matter what, I won't let you hurt them. But I will do whatever I have to, to keep you from that...thing." Derek held Stiles to his chest. He rested his cheek on Stiles' head. 

"Thank you." Stiles spoke quietly. 

Derek didn't respond. Instead he held Stiles tighter. Every fiber in Derek wanted, no, needed to protect Stiles. He had thought he was gonna lose Stiles so many times during his possession. He didn't know if he could go through that again. The wolf in him had to protect his pack member but it was more than that. Stiles wasn't just a pack member, Stiles was the love of his life.


	29. I'll handle it

Stiles let Derek hold him. It was a weird thing for Derek to do. They had never even hugged, but this was nice. Stiles concentrated on the beating sound of Derek's heart. It was oddly calming.

"I told them Argent sent Isaac somewhere to get rid of the box. Sam is calling Argent to see if he can get in contact with Isaac." Derek spoke after a few moments of silence. 

Stiles pulled back quickly. "What?" 

"I know you said not to mention Argent but he's our best option-"

"No, that's fine. Is he gonna send Issac here?" Stiles asked cutting Derek off.

"I don't know." Derek frowned at Stiles. Why was he so anxious all of a sudden?

Stiles scrambled to his feet and hurried out of the room, leaving Derek confused.

 

Dean sat at the table with his head in his hands. 

"Dean, I know you're upset but you can't worry about Stiles so much. He's smart and strong and he was raised by you and Sam." Cas touched the hunter's arm gently. 

Dean looked up at Cas. He loved those blue eyes looking back at him. 

Dean reached forward his hand brushing Cas's cheek gently. 

Cas frowned. "Is something wrong, Dean?"

Dean leaned forward. "You have the most beautiful eyes." 

Cas' breath hitched. "Thank you."   
His cheeks turned a light shade of red.

Dean pulled his hand back. "Sorry. I just...umm...anyway." 

Dean went to turn away but Cas caught his arm. "I didn't mind. I've always thought that about yours." 

The two stared at each other for a moment, neither knowing what to say. 

 

"Sam." Stiles called causing Dean and Cas to break eye contact finally.

"He's on the phone with Argent." Dean said standing up.

"Oh." Stiles turned to walk back out of the room.

"Hey, hold on." Dean said stepping towards his younger brother.

Stiles sighed heavily before turning back around.

"I'm sorry I overreacted. I feel responsible. It was my idea to send you to live with Sheriff Stilinski. I thought I was keeping you safe but I just caused you to get hurt even more." Dean looked at Stiles, his expression giving away how guilty he felt.

"Dean, you can't be responsible for everything that happens to me. It's a dangerous world. If I was just some normal guy I'd probably end up possessed by one of Crowleys men or end up as a stupid idiot who sells my soul for a date with my hot neighbor. At least I can defend myself. And shit happens. Hell Sam died and you sold your soul. Then Sam was literally walking around as Lucifer. Then he got trapped in the cage before ending up soulless. You got cursed with the mark of Cain and literally became Crowleys demon boyfriend. I've been a vampire, tortured for information by angels, possessed by a Japanese spirit. Shit happens, it's not your fault and you're not responsible for my every move." Stiles huffed. 

"I'm just trying to look out for you better than dad did." Dean said glancing down.

"Dean, you're nothing like dad. I was just a nuisance to him and a reminder of mom." Stiles shook his head.

"That's not true." Dean frowned.

"Yes it is, mom wanted a third kid and they had trouble, I was a 'miracle baby'. Dad let mom name me. You and Sam had somewhat of a relationship with him before mom's death. I never got to know them. Everytime he was drunk he told me it killed him to say my name cause mom used to sing about it when she was rocking me to sleep." Stiles argued.

Dean dropped his eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry." 

Dean didn't know what to say. He knew Stiles and their dad didn't get along but they never really talked about it much. Mostly because Stiles didn't like to. 

Before Stiles could respond Sam walked in. 

"Just got off the phone with Argent again. He called the guy that knows where the box is. His name is Isaac. He agreed to meet us with the box but, only if Stiles is there." Sam looked at Stiles.

Stiles swallowed hard. 

"Stiles doesn't need to be anywhere near that box." Derek snapped walking in.

"I agree." Dean nodded.

"Let me call Argent and see what I can work out." Stiles sighed.

"No. You're not going. Period." Derek growled.

"Derek, let me handle it." Stiles turned to the werewolf.

"If it's cause he doesn't trust Sam and Dean, I'll go. He knows me." Derek stepped forward. He wasn't about to let Stiles go get the box.

"Derek, I'll handle it." Stiles sighed.

"There's nothing to handle." Derek growled. 

"Why can't Argent meet him and then we meet Argent?" Dean asked looking at Sam.

"Cause Isaac is in Maine. We're way closer." Sam answered. 

Stiles pulled out his phone and stepped away while Sam and Dean argued.

"Stiles?" Argent answered.

"Chris, hey, so Sam told me you talked to Isaac." 

"I'm sorry, Stiles, I tried to get him to agree but he said he won't hand it over unless he can see you." Argent apologized.

Stiles let out a heavy sigh. "Shit." 

"I know you don't want to but, he misses you Stiles." Argent responded with a sigh of his own.

"You know I can't." Stiles groaned.

"I'm guessing they still don't know about Derek?" 

"Of course not. He'd be dead in a half second; you know that." Stiles scoffed at the idea. 

"I'm sorry, Stiles, just go and at least talk to him." Argent urged.

"Yeah, I don't know how well that's gonna go over with Dean and Derek. They're both very insistent I'm nowhere near that box." Stiles huffed.

"He was really upset when you left, Stiles. You were the only reason he came back." Argent's tone was sympathetic.

"I know, I know." Stiles sighed.

Derek listened closely to the conversation between Stiles and Argent. He couldn't quite hear everything Argent said as Dean and Sam were arguing loudly next to him.

"If this kid won't give it up, I'll force him to." Dean barked.

"No, Dean, that's not how we handle things." Sam huffed in frustration.

"We are talking about Stiles here, we do whatever is necessary." Dean's voice was getting louder.

"I'm going." Stiles said suddenly back in the room.

"No you're not." Dean and Derek spoke in unison. 

"You two calm down. I'm not a damn child. Isaac wants me there so I'm going." Stiles snapped. 

"Since when do you care what Isaac wants?" Derek frowned at the hunter. 

"Look, he's not a huge fan of you and he doesn't know them." Stiles gestured to his brothers. "Sam and I will go and meet him." 

"You're not going without me."

"I'm coming with you." 

Derek and Dean spoke at the same time again. 

"Come on you guys, seriously." Stiles huffed. 

"Stiles, I told you, I'm not letting you near that box. I can handle Isaac." Derek stepped forward. 

"I'm going, end of story." Stiles snapped stepping past Derek.

Derek let out a low growl, grabbing Stiles' arm. 

Stiles yanked away from the alpha's grasp. "Don't fucking touch me." 

Derek's jaw dropped. Stiles had never snapped at him like that before. It stung.

"Stiles." Dean stepped forward.

"You said you don't want to be like dad? Then stop trying to control me." Stiles snapped again but this time at his oldest brother.

The room stayed silent as Stiles stalked out of the room. 

"Don't take it personal you two. He's under a lot of stress." Sam tried to comfort Derek and his brother. 

Dean clenched his jaw but acted like he was fine. Derek, however, looked confused and a bit hurt still.

"I'm guessing that wasn't a typical conversation?" Sam asked stepping next to Derek.

"Not really." Derek answered flatly. He couldn't exactly tell Sam that Stiles was his anchor and also the love of his life, not to mention his alpha. Stiles demanding Derek not touch him was devastating to his wolf. He relied on touching Stiles to calm down and he felt rejected. Also it hurt because he loved him and Stiles wanted nothing to do with him.

Stiles dropped on to his bed. He knew he should have felt guilty for what he said to Derek and Dean, but he didn't. He needed them to back off and hitting sensitive buttons was the only way to do that. 

Stiles knew that Dean would feel bad for acting like their dad and Derek being his alpha didn't like to be rejected in any way. Stiles also had noticed Derek was a lot more touchy feely. He was beginning to suspect Derek might be using him as an anchor and if that was the case, he'd just crushed Derek. Stiles almost felt bad but he was too angry and stressed.


	30. Isaac

Stiles drove silently behind Dean's impala. He had managed to come to a compromise. Everyone would go but Stiles had to take a separate car so that he wasn't in the car with the box. Nobody was truly thrilled with the outcome but that was the point of a compromise wasn't it? 

Derek had remained silent the entire way but he could smell the anxiety practically dripping off of Stiles. It seemed to get worse the closer they got.

They were an hour out when Derek couldn't hold back any longer. 

"Are you okay?" Derek blurted causing Stiles to jump. 

"Shit." Stiles swore waiting for his heart rate to even back out. Well as much as it could considering his nervous state.

"I'm fine." Stiles shrugged earning an eye roll from the alpha.

"You're a terrible liar, Stiles." Derek growled looking straight ahead. 

"If you already know the answer then why ask?" Stiles snapped. 

"Because, something is very wrong and instead of demanding to know why, I figured I would approach it more appropriately." Derek answered,  his tone laced with annoyance.

"Since when do you care about if you're being demanding?" Stiles scoffed.

Derek grit his teeth. He felt his patience slipping and his wolf was already on edge due to Stiles' current state.

"Fine, why do you smell like you're swimming in a pool of anxiety, and why is your heart about to beat out of your chest?" Derek demanded.

"I'm a little nervous." Stiles shrugged, squirming.

"A little?" It was Derek's turn to scoff. 

"It's getting worse the closer we get. And why were you so adamant about letting Isaac call the shots? He could have just dealt with me being the one." 

"I told you, he's not the biggest fan of you." Stiles responded simply. 

"Since when?" Derek looked at Stiles as he waited for an answer.

"Since you literally kicked him out of the loft forcing him to go to Scott. You were his alpha. You rejected him. You talk so high about the alpha beta connection and yet, you inflicted that pain on him in the midst of a temper tantrum, no less. He had you when he had no one else and you rejected him. He has a pretty damn good reason to not be a fan." Stiles snapped. 

Derek fell silent. He recalled the day well. He knew Scott was a true alpha and he wasn't in the right mind set to be an alpha. So much was going on and he buckled under the pressure.

-

Stiles stopped the car and hesitated. He hadn't seen Isaac since the day he left. He slowly climbed out of his car. 

Cas, Stiles, Sam, Derek and Dean stood between the two cars. 

"Sam and I are going to to go over there. Sam will take the box and I'll talk to Isaac." Stiles spoke, trying to keep his voice even. 

Derek opened his mouth to protest but Stiles stopped him.

"Please don't make this any harder for me." Stiles looked into Derek's green eyes with a pleading look that Derek couldn't argue with; instead he simply nodded.

Stiles and Sam turned. Sam started towards Isaac but Stiles feet felt like lead. 

Sam took the box. Stiles swallowed before forcing his feet forward. 

"Stiles." Isaac spoke his voice quiet. 

Stiles couldn't find his voice. He was sure both Isaac and Derek could hear his heart pounding like a jackhammer. 

Isaac stepped forward hesitantly. Stiles remained unmoving.

"You look..." Isaac trailed off. He reached for Stiles' cheek, just barely touching it with the tips of his fingers. Stiles closed his eyes at the touch but just as soon as it was there it was gone. 

"Derek." Isaacs voice broke slightly. 

Stiles frowned a bit. 

"You smell like Derek." 

Stiles could see the betrayal in his eyes. 

Stiles glanced back at the alpha standing by Stiles' car.

Isaac followed his gaze and tensed. "He's with you." 

Stiles bit at his bottom lip. 

Isaac took a step back. "Scott was right, you left because of Derek." 

"What? No." Stiles finally spoke. 

"Then why is he with you? You said you had to leave and it was too dangerous for..." Isaac trailed off his voice breaking slightly. 

"Isaac." Stiles stepped toward the werewolf.

"You lied to me. You said your brothers were dangerous." 

"They are." Stiles took another step.

"Then why is he with you?" Isaac demanded, his voice raising. 

"It's complicated." Stiles sighed glancing back.

"Really? That's your answer? It's complicated? Do you know how devastated I was?" Isaac was clearly angry.

"Isaac, I know, I'm so sorry, but I promise you he's only with me temporarily. In fact now that we have the box that time is coming to a close very soon. My brothers don't know. Look, Isaac, I swear I never wanted to hurt you." Stiles frowned taking another step. He was only about a foot from Isaac.

"I love you, Stiles." Isaac spoke sadly. 

"You don't know me, Isaac." Stiles shook his head.

"So I can't get to know you, but he can?" Isaac snapped. 

"Isaac it's not like that." Stiles grabbed Isaac's hands in his. 

"Why did you leave?" Isaac gripped Stiles' hands. 

"I told you why. I loved you Isaac but it's not right. We would never work. And if my brothers ever find out..." Stiles' eyes dropped to their hands.

"Loved?" Isaac frowned. 

Stiles immediately felt guilty. He hated to be the reason for the look on Isaac's face.

"I should have listened to Scott when he told me not to fall for you, but it was too late. He told me you would just hurt me." 

Stiles frowned. "He said that?" 

"He told me you would never get over Derek." Isaac answered.

"Never get over Derek?" Stiles was thoroughly confused. 

"Why do you think Malia broke up with you? She said you became a shell of a man when Derek left. I didn't want to believe them. I never imagined you and Derek ever working out. I always thought you deserved better. I know I'm not great, but I thought I was at least better than him." Isaacs tone was full of hurt.

"Isaac, Derek and I aren't together, I promise you. Listen to heartbeat." Stiles stepped in even closer not releasing Isaacs hands. 

"I didn't leave you for Derek. I didn't leave Beacon Hills for Derek. I hate that I had to hurt you, I never wanted that. We both knew going in to it that it wouldn't last. How could it. You didn't even know who I really was." Stiles spoke staring into Isaacs green eyes.

When Isaac didn't respond Stiles leaned in connecting their lips.

Isaac responded immediately pulling his hands from Stiles' and running a hand through the hunters hair. His other hand slipped around Stiles waist. 

Stiles let Isaac deepen the kiss. He'd missed this. He'd missed how gentle Issac was and how sweet and sensitive. He didn't realize how much he'd missed it until now. 

When they finally pulled apart Stiles pressed his forehead to Isaac's. "I want you to know that no matter what anyone says or thinks, I didn't leave you for Derek." 

"Do you love him?" Isaac asked quietly. 

"What?" Stiles pulled back so he could look at Isaac.

"Do you love him?" Isaac repeated. 

"Derek? No." Stiles frowned shaking his head. 

Isaac nodded seeming content with the answer.

"Thank you, for meeting me and talking to me. I know you didn't want to." Isaac stepped back from Stiles' arms. 

"It's not that I didn't want to see you or talk to you....I just didn't want to face you." Stiles dropped his head in shame.

"I forgive you." Isaac touched Stiles' cheek, again just barely with his finger tips. 

Stiles wanted to respond but Isaac was already walking away. He watched as Isaac climbed into his car. He knew Isaac could hear him so he spoke quietly. 

"I'm sorry."


	31. You're one of us

Derek heard Stiles' heart start to pound harder. Why was he so nervous? Sam already had the box in the trunk of the impala. The closer he got to Isaac the worse is got. Was he scared to be near Isaac? Why? As he afraid of Isaac's reaction to him being a hunter? He wasn't even this nervous with Derek that day he showed up in the bunker.

"Stiles." Isaac's voice was quiet. 

Derek heard Issac's heart beating heavily as well. The tension he felt between them had his wolf even more on edge. He forced himself to stay where he was and not go to Stiles.

"Derek." The alpha frowned at the sound of his name. Stiles looked over his shoulder he suddenly smelled guilt. What was going on?

"Scott was right. You left because if Derek." 

Derek listened carefully as Isaac accused Stiles who tried desperately to explain himself. 

"I love you, Stiles." 

Derek froze. Isaac loved Stiles? 

"I loved you, Issac, but it's not right." 

Derek felt jealousy wash over him. Stiles loved Isaac? When? For how long? 

"Loved?" Isaac smelled of hurt and betrayal.

"He told me you would never get over Derek." 

Derek's breath hitched. 

"Never get over Derek?" Stiles was confused. 

"Why do you think Malia broke up with you? She said you became a shell of a man when Derek left. I didn't want to believe them. I never imagined you and Derek ever working out. I always thought you deserved better. I know I'm not great, but I thought I was at least better than him." 

Derek felt a growl build in his throat. His wolf bristled beneath the surface. 

"I didn't leave you for Derek. I didn't leave Beacon Hills for Derek. I hate that I had to hurt you, I never wanted that. We both knew going in to it that it wouldn't work." 

Derek clenched his hands. Had they dated? 

He tensed when he saw Stiles lean in to kiss Isaac. Derek felt like he'd been kicked.

"Whoa, didn't see that coming." Dean spoke from behind Derek.

Derek watched with jealous eyes as Isaac wrapped his arm around Stiles. 

It took every ounce of self control to keep from going over there and pulling Isaac off of the hunter, especially with the way he was touching Stiles, like he never wanted to let go. 

He smelled the content and happiness radiating off both of them and it drove Derek crazy with jealousy. He didn't want Stiles feeling like that with anyone, much less Isaac. Not that he had anything against Isaac, but he thought he was better for Stiles than Derek. While that might have been true, it pissed Derek off. The possessivness he felt towards Stiles was making it hard to control his shift. He fought to keep composure but currently his anchor, who also happened to be the man he loved, was wrapped in another man's arms.

He squeezed his eyes closed trying to focus on the anger that used to anchor him but it wasn't working. 

"I want you to know that no matter what anyone else says or thinks. I didn't leave you for Derek." Stiles voice spoke. Just the sound of his name of Stiles' lips calmed him slightly. 

"Do you love him?" Isaac's voice asked.

"Derek? No." Stiles answered causing Derek's heart to break. 

The sudden pain he felt pushed his wolf down almost immediately. He looked up at the two who were no longer touching. 

Derek didn't get a chance to catch if Stiles' heart skipped but by the look on Isaac's face he was sure it hadn't. 

Derek watched as Isaac reached for Stiles one last time before turning away. He smelled the guilt coming off of Stiles again. 

"Don't hurt him." Derek heard Isaac's voice say in a pleading tone. He looked at Isaac's car, their eyes meeting briefly before he drove off.

Stiles walked back slowly.

"Stiles." Sam stepped forward. Stiles fell into his brother's open arms, gripping the middle Winchester tightly.

"I'm so sorry." Sam spoke gently.

"Why did you insist on coming?" Dean asked gently.

Stiles pulled back to look at Dean his eyes watering slightly.

"I broke his heart when I left. I wanted a chance to explain myself." Stiles shrugged. Derek heard the lie but remained silent.

"Did you?" Dean asked.

"There was nothing to explain. I'm a hunter, we can't be together. I wanted to justify it somehow but..." Stiles glanced at Derek.

"I think I just made it worse." 

"He thought, you and Derek." Sam looked at the alpha.

Stiles only nodded.

"Stiles, I told you it's okay to care for someone." Dean stepped forward putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"It doesn't matter. It's over and we got that damn box." Stiles gestured to the impala.

"Stiles." Sam said with a sigh but he ignored him as he walked towards his car.

Derek heard the driver's side door shut.

"Maybe you should drive back with him." Derek spoke up finally, his voice more strained than he'd intended.

"I don't know, I think you'd probably be better at talking to him. You knew Isaac." Sam shook his head a bit.

"Trust me, I'm not better at talking to him ever." Derek frowned.

"I'm thinking Derek might be right." Dean piped in. He could tell how uncomfortable Derek was. And he knew jealousy when he saw it.

"He can ride with us and you can talk to Stiles." Dean encouraged. 

Sam nodded. "Okay."

Derek felt relief flood him. He didn't know how he was going to be able to keep his composure in a car with Stiles for ten hours after that.

"Derek, you take the front." Cas said reaching for the back door. 

"You sure?" Derek frowned.

"I'd like to rest." Cas nodded.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean frowned at the angel. 

"Just tired, Dean. I'm okay." The angel smiled.

Stiles frowned when he saw Derek climb into the impala.

"Hey, you're stuck with me." Sam smiled sliding into the passengers side. 

Stiles let out a huff. "I don't want to talk about my feelings, Sam." 

Sam smiled. "Good then you can listen." 

Stiles groaned as he started the car. 

\- 

They had been on the road for twenty minutes when Cas had lulled off to sleep. Dean kept glancing back in the mirror to make sure he was okay.

Derek smirked slightly.

"What?" Dean frowned at the werewolf.

"You really love him don't you?" Derek asked.

Dean shifted slightly. Just like Stiles.

Dean remained silent for a moment.

"Probably about as much as you love Stiles." Dean grinned tossing a glance at Derek.

Derek tensed. 

"I get it." Dean nodded looking straight ahead.

"If you admit it, it makes it real." 

Derek frowned slightly.

"How long?" Derek asked glancing back at the sleeping angel.

"About three years." Dean answered.   
"You?"

Derek frowned slightly. The memory of Stiles holding him up in the pool popped into his head. He'd been paralyzed by Kanima venom and fallen in. Stiles without hesitation dove in after him. He held him up for two hours. He complained the entire time and threatened to let him drown but not once did his grip falter. 

"About a month after we met, I knew." Derek answered not looking at Dean.

"So why did you leave?" Dean asked looking at Derek confused.

"He was happy with...someone else." Derek paused. Stiles had asked him not to mention Malia.

"Isaac?" 

Derek frowned shaking his head.

"No. Apparently that was after I left." Derek clenched his fists.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I guess that was hard to witness then." Dean glanced at Derek sympathetically.

Derek didn't respond. 

After a few more moments of silence Derek spoke up again. 

"Cas feels the same way, you know." 

Dean jerked his head towards Derek.  
"What?"

"When you and Crowley were talking about the two of you, Cas was pretty jealous." Derek said looking at the hunter who had tensed.

"No, he's an angel. He doesn't love..." Dean trailed off.

"He told Stiles he wasn't in love with him and that he loved him with a paternal love. It sounds like he's figuring out these emotions." Derek shrugged. 

Dean glanced back at Cas. He looked so peaceful.

"You should tell Stiles." 

"You would be okay with that?" Derek raised a brow at Dean.

"Of course. You're one of us now." Dean grinned at Derek.

"I wish that were true." Derek sighed.

Dean tossed a confused look at the alpha.

"I'm no good for Stiles." Derek shook his head.

"I think Stiles should be the judge of that." Dean smiled.

"Trouble follows me. People I care about always get hurt." 

"Like I said you're one of us." Dean chuckled. 

Derek smiled though it didn't reach his eyes. He'd honestly love to stay with the Winchesters. He genuinely liked Sam, Dean and Cas. But if they ever found out what he was, he be lucky to make it out alive.


	32. Der

Stiles walked into the bunker and went straight for the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"The ride with Sammy that bad huh?" Dean chuckled walking into the kitchen.

Stiles glared at Dean. 

"Hey, I got lectured the whole way there so it's only fair." Dean ruffled Stiles' hair.

"So you didn't mention you dated anyone while you were there." Dean noted as he poured a glass for himself.

"Isaac and I dated for a little over three months. It wasn't anything serious." Stiles shrugged.

"And the other one? Before him?" Dean asked casually.

"How did you- Derek." Stiles huffed.

"I asked if he knew about Isaac, he said that was after he left. Before he left you were happy with someone else." Dean took a sip of his drink.

"Malia." Stiles answered simply.

"And was that one serious?" Dean pressed. 

"No." Stiles shook his head.

"You don't talk about Beacon Hills much." 

"Dean, can we not? I went through this already with Sam. It wasn't a time I like to remember." Stiles huffed downing the last of his drink before pouring another one.

"Including Derek?" Dean pressed.

Stiles paused.

"I don't know." Stiles sighed.

"He cares about you. And I know you care about him too." Dean put a hand on Stiles' shoulder.

"That's the problem." Stiles took his glass and walked out. 

He almost walked into Derek.

"Derek." Stiles bit his bottom lip as his eyes met the alphas.

"Well, let's hear it." Stiles huffed throwing up a hand.

Derek frowned. "Hear what?" 

"How disappointed you are or how I neglected to tell you." Stiles answered.

"It's none of my business." Derek shrugged.

"You were pissed when you found out I was dating Malia cause it was 'too dangerous'." Stiles frowned.

"Things change." Derek shrugged stepping passed Stiles.

"Not you." Stiles scoffed.

Derek paused briefly. "Yeah, maybe not." He then disappeared down the hallway.

Stiles tossed back his drink. He needed another one.

 

Derek took his gun and his angel blade and set them on the table in the main room.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked frowning at Derek as he walked in.

"I didn't know where you'd want these." Derek gestured to the weapons.

"What's going on?" Dean asked walking in.

"I'm not sure." Sam said still frowning. 

"You have the box, you don't need to look after me anymore." Derek said looking at the brothers.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Dean asked incredulously. 

"There's no reason for me to stay." Derek shrugged. 

"Uh, Stiles." Dean said as if it was obvious.

"I told you Dean, I'm no good for Stiles."

"And I told you that was up to him." Dean snapped. 

"Look, Derek, I get what you're trying to do but, maybe hold off? Stiles has been through a lot in the past fourty-eight hours. I don't think he could handle losing you too." Sam spoke calmly unlike his brother. 

"Stiles won't miss me." Derek shook his head.

Derek headed for the door.

"You aren't even gonna say goodbye?" Dean snapped again. He was getting pissed. 

"It's easier this way. Clean break." Derek nodded.

"No, I can't let you do that. I know how much you love him." Dean stepped towards Derek.

"Dean." Derek sighed.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Stiles asked walking into the room.

Nobody said anything.

"Don't all answer at once." Stiles raised his brows. 

"We were just saying how we should all have a celebratory drink." Dean grinned.

"That's a great idea. I'll get Cas." Stiles smiled before going to fetch the angel.

"Please don't do this to him. Think about how hurt he was last time." Sam pleaded with the werewolf.

Derek dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Okay, let's get our drink on." Stiles smiled walking back into the room with Cas. 

"Stiles." Derek said his tone slightly sad.

"Yeah, Der?" Stiles asked as he moved the books off the table. 

Derek felt his heart skip at the nickname. Stiles had never called him that.

Stiles looked up at him.

He swallowed unable to say what he knew he needed to. Those whiskey brown eyes melted him.

"Later on, would you show me how to clean my gun?" Derek asked. 

Stiles smiled widely. "Yeah, sure." 

Derek glanced at Sam and Dean. Sam was grinning and Dean looked relieved. 

Derek wanted to kick himself, but he just couldn't leave. The idea that it might hurt Stiles made Derek's wolf cringe. He was too far gone on the hunter.

-

Derek pulled on a pair of sweatpants when he heard a knock at his door.

"Hey, Der, you in here?" Stiles asked through the door.

Derek smiled to himself at the nickname. Stiles had used it a couple of times throughout the night and Derek loved it. 

He opened the door allowing Stiles in.

"Oh, shirtless Derek, that's always a pleasant surprise." Stiles smirked.

Derek raised a confused brow. Stiles was obviously drunk.

Derek had stopped drinking early on so that Sam and Dean wouldn't question his alcohol tolerance since werewolves couldn't get drunk. He'd done some reading and then showered.

"What do you want, Stiles?" Derek asked with a sigh.

"Don't be such a sourwolf." Stiles rolled his eyes. 

"I wanted to see you." Stiles said as he walked towards Derek.

"Why?" Derek asked.

"Because, I wanted to talk to you about something." Stiles said looking serious all of a sudden.

"Okay." Derek nodded. He wasn't sure where this was going.

Stiles turned then closing Derek's bedroom door.

"What are-" before Derek could finish his sentence, Stiles had him pressed against the wall.

Stiles' hands ran up Derek's chest causing Derek's breath to catch in his throat.

"You're beautiful you know that, Derek?" Stiles sighed leaning in as his hands reached Derek's cheeks.

Derek caught Stiles' wrists. "Stiles, you're drunk." 

"Just enough." Stiles licked at his bottom lip before biting onto it.

Derek's eyes glanced to Stiles' mouth. His wolf itched to kiss it.

"Stiles-" 

"Derek, for once just give in." Stiles sighed cutting him off.

"What are you talking about?" Derek frowned.

Stiles pulled his wrists from Derek's grasp.

"You're so tense and serious all the time." Stiles huffed.

"I really want to kiss you. I always wondered what it would feel like." Stiles pouted looking down at Derek's lips he reached up running his thumb along Derek's bottom lip.

Derek forced his wolf not to react but having Stiles so close and saying things like that made it incredibly difficult.

"That's the alcohol talking, Stiles." Derek sighed. He needed to be strong. He couldn't take advantage of the situation, it wasn't right.

"It's not. I've always thought you were attractive." Stiles shook his head.

"The first time I saw you shirtless I couldn't take my eyes off of you. The way your back muscles moved beneath your tattoo."

"Stiles." 

"When we had to share the bed in that hotel room, I imagined what you would feel like against me." Stiles leaned in closer to Derek. 

"Stiles, don't." Derek practically begged.

"I know I don't compare to you but I-" 

"Don't ever compare yourself to anyone, Stiles, you're gorgeous." Derek said before he could stop himself. He couldn't let Stiles talk like that.

Stiles blushed as he bit down on his bottom lip again.

"If you really believe that, why won't you let me kiss you?" Stiles leaned in even further. 

Derek could feel Stiles' warm breath hit his lips. He was losing his self control. 

"Because, you're drunk." Derek answered unable to push Stiles back though he knew he needed to.

"Not enough to regret this." Stiles brushed his lips over Derek's ever so slightly.

Derek felt his eyes flutter close briefly.

"Do you want me to stop, Der?" Stiles asked his lips brushing against Derek's as he spoke.

"I'll stop if you really want me to but, I don't want to stop." Stiles spoke softly. Derek's wolf was consumed with Stiles' scent and it was intoxicating. 

Suddenly Derek flipped them so Stiles was now against the wall. Derek's lips crashed against Stiles'.

Stiles kissed back eagerly, his hands gripping Derek's hips. He pulled the alpha in closer causing their hips to meet. 

Derek pulled back suddenly panting gently. 

"Stiles, go to bed." Derek growled his hands still firmly holding onto Stiles' waist.

"But-"

"Bed, Stiles. " Derek growled again letting go of the hunter and opening his door. He felt his wolf threaten to come through. It wanted Stiles. It wanted to be wrapped in his scent, but it couldn't happen like this.

Stiles pouted as he made his way to the door.

"Goodnight, Der." Stiles placed a quick peck to Derek's lips before walking out. 

Derek closed the door and leaned back against it. He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. It had taken every ounce of control to make Stiles leave. 

He ran his fingers over his lips recalling how Stiles' felt against them. It was better than Derek had ever imagined. He wondered how much of what Stiles had said was true and how much was just the alcohol talking. It was probably best he didn't know.


	33. Control

Stiles woke with a pounding in his head. He slowly pulled himself out of bed and towards the kitchen.

"Stiles." Sam said surprised by his brother's sudden appearance.

"Hey, Sam." Stiles mumbled going for the coffee pot where he knew a cup would be waiting. Dean always made enough for Stiles to have a cup once he woke up.

At that moment Derek walked in holding a small duffle bag. He froze at the door.

"Morning, Derek." Stiles said barely looking up.

Derek didn't respond. He glanced at Sam. 

"What's with the bag?" Stiles yawned as he finished pouring his coffee.

Derek swallowed nervously tossing another glance at Sam, who quickly slipped out of the room. He knew what was coming.

"Wait..." Stiles frowned at Derek suddenly. He set his cup down.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Stiles asked his voice laced with betrayal.

"Stiles." Derek sighed.

"You promised." Stiles said in dismay, suddenly wide awake.

"There's no reason for me to stay. You got the box. I'm not in danger anymore." Derek explained trying to keep his wolf calm. The hurt and betrayal he smelled coming off Stiles had his wolf bristling beneath the surface.

"Is this about last night? Cause I'm sorry. I was careless and it won't happen again." Stiles looked at Derek, his eyes full of disappointment. 

"Stiles, you know I can't stay." Derek sighed.

"Can't or don't want to?" Stiles snapped.

"Why would I stay? I'm not a hunter. I don't belong here. You and I...we have a rocky relationship, and you know I do better on my own." Derek sighed.

"No you don't. You just don't know how to trust anyone so you tell yourself you're better alone." Stiles shook his head.

"I trust you." Derek disagreed.

"Then trust me when I say I need you. I know to you I'm just some human, but to me, you're my alpha. I know that no matter what you'll be there for me." Stiles took a step towards Derek.

Derek's eyes flashed their familiar alpha red briefly. Stiles really knew how to work his wolf.

"See, that means something to you." Stiles took another step towards Derek.

"Of course it does, Stiles. I told you you will always be important to me. You're my pack. I will always feel that pull towards you." Derek said sincerely. Stiles made it so hard to leave.

"Then how can you leave?" Stiles asked his tone quiet.

"Stiles, if your brothers ever found out...the longer I stay the more it will hurt when I'm forced to leave." Derek dropped his eyes to the ground.

"If they ever found out and made you leave, I would go with you." Stiles looked at Derek seriously.

"No, Stiles, I refuse to come between you and your family." Derek shook his head, frowning.

"Derek, you are my family." Stiles took another step. He was now close enough to reach out and touch Derek. He placed a hand on Derek's cheek. 

Derek leaned into the touch. It calmed his wolf immediately.

"If you left, you'd have to find a new anchor." Stiles smirked slightly.

Derek looked up at Stiles with a confused frown.

"Come on, you don't think I haven't noticed the extra touching? I calm you." Stiles rubbed his thumb along Derek's cheekbone.  
"You calm me too." 

Derek dropped his eyes in embarrassment.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm glad that I'm your anchor." Stiles lifted Derek's chin so his eyes met Stiles'.

"And about last night..." Stiles dropped his hand.

"I'm so sorry." Stiles bit at his bottom lip.

"Why did you do it?" Derek asked before he could decide if he wanted to know.

Stiles shifted slightly, his heart rate picking up.

"Stiles?" Derek pressed when he didn't respond.

"I don't know what to say. If I lie, you'll know and if I'm honest, I'll never be able to convince you to stay." Stiles sighed running a hand through his hair. 

"What do you mean?" Derek frowned.

Stiles looked at Derek with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry." 

"Why, Stiles?" Derek urged Stiles to continue.

"Isn't it obvious?" Stiles sighed.  
"I'm attracted to you. Last night, I was stupid and careless. I came in there for the comfort of my alpha. I just needed to be near you but, you were shirtless and I was slightly drunk and I just...I'm sorry." Stiles rambled.

Derek frowned slightly.

"You find me physically attractive?" Derek asked in disbelief.

Stiles nodded dropping his head in shame.

"Stiles." Derek reached for Stiles' hand, pulling him in.

Stiles' whiskey brown eyes met Derek's sage green ones. 

"That wouldn't make me leave. I'm attracted to you too. When I told you you were gorgeous last night, I meant it." Derek knew he shouldn't be saying this but he couldn't help himself.

"Then why did you send me away last night?" Stiles asked cocking his head slightly. 

"You were drunk. I didn't want to take advantage of you." Derek answered honestly.

Stiles smiled a bit. 

"Well, I wasn't that drunk. Just enough to have the balls to kiss you. Stiles chuckled, earning a grin from the alpha.

"Maybe the next time you decide to come on to me, you'll be sober." Derek smirked.

"Does that mean you're staying?" Stiles asked, his eyes hopeful.

Derek sighed. "My wolf is losing it at the thought of leaving. If you truly want me to stay..." 

"Yes." Stiles nodded. He knew he sounded over eager, but he couldn't help it. 

"You have to promise me something." Derek spoke seriously.

"What?" Stiles frowned as Derek let out another sigh.

"If Sam and Dean find out, you have to let me go." 

Stiles' frown deepened. "No. I told you I'm going with you. You've seen me at my worst, you helped me in ways no one ever has. I trust you as much as I would Sam or Dean. I need you Derek. I've never needed anyone, but I need you. And you can hate me for that but it's true. I don't know if it's some weird pack thing, even though I'm not a wolf, but I feel like...like I... belong with you." 

Derek's eyes flashed briefly as he forced his wolf to stay. It craved Stiles in such a way he'd never felt before and Stiles was saying things that made it difficult to hold back. 

"Stiles, you can't talk like that." Derek growled gently. 

Stiles touched Derek's shoulder in concern. "Are you okay, Der?" 

The touch and sound of Stiles' new nickname calmed him. 

"I...I don't know." Derek felt like his senses were being overwhelmed. His head spun as Stiles' scent grew stronger and more intoxicating. 

"Derek." Stiles' tone was full of concern as he pulled the alphas face to look at his.

Derek's eyes fought between their alpha red and their safe green. 

"Are you about to shift?" Stiles asked, panic evident in his voice.

"I don't know." Derek closed his eyes as he gripped Stiles' wrists. Stiles' hands stayed cupped on Derek's cheeks. 

"What can I do?" Stiles asked earnestly. 

"I don't.... know what's happening." Derek hadn't felt this out of control since he had first shifted.

"Are you...having a panic attack?" Stiles asked unsure if that was even possible for a werewolf. 

"I wouldn't know." Derek said, a low growl in his throat. 

It sure seemed like he was, so Stiles tried to think of how he handled his, back in Beacon Hills. He recalled a particular attack that Lydia helped him through. She had kissed him. 

Stiles licked his lips as he glanced at Derek's slightly parted ones. It couldn't hurt. They'd already kissed once afterall. 

Stiles felt his heart start to race as he  leaned in. He pressed his lips to Derek's. He felt Derek tense before immediately relaxing. The kiss was gentle. 

Stiles pulled back to see Derek's eyes back to their beautiful shade of green. 

Derek gaped at the hunter. He didn't expect Stiles to do that and he definitely didn't expect his wolf to calm so easily. 

"Better?" Stiles asked.

Derek nodded. 

"What happened?" Stiles frowned, his expression still full of worry. 

"I'm not sure. I've never felt like that before. Not since I first learned to control my shift at least." Derek shook his head in confusion.

"Can you smell anything specific that might have triggered you? Wolfsbane or mistletoe?" Stiles asked.

"I don't have this kind if reaction to those. I'm always in complete control." Derek was suddenly nervous. His wolf was completely calm but he didn't understand why? 

"Is it a full moon tonight?" Stiles asked. 

"Stiles, I never. lose. control." Derek growled in frustration.

"Well something triggered you." Stiles huffed throwing his hands up.

Derek tried to clear his senses and block out as much as he could but Stiles' scent still had him in a bit of a daze. 

"I'm gonna take a cold shower, maybe that'll help." Derek frowned. 

Stiles nodded. "If you need anything, let me know."

Stiles watched as Derek walked out. He'd never seen Derek in such a state before. It worried him, a lot.


	34. Trigger

"No, that can't be right. He's a human, it doesn't work that way." Derek huffed into the phone. 

"I'm afraid it does. It's not as common, and often times goes unnoticed, but something must have happened to trigger you're senses." Peter responded simply.

"I told you, we were talking. He said I was his alpha and he didn't want me to leave, but he's said this all before." Derek growled. He was currently pacing his room.

"Have you told him how you felt? Has he admitted feeling anything for you?" Peter asked.

"We both admitted being physically attracted to one another, but I still had control." Derek answered.

"Have the two of you done anything sexual? That could trigger it." 

"I kissed him last night but then I made him leave. He had been drinking and was coming on to me." Derek answered waiting for Peter's mocking. 

"But you didn't lose control until today?" Peter confirmed. 

"Yes." Derek was growing impatient. 

"He must have said something. The physical connection was clearly made with the kiss, but the emotional connection had to have been brought on by something. What was the last thing he said before you started to feel yourself lose control?" Peter asked.

Derek thought hard about his and Stiles' conversation.

"I told him if his brother's found out he had to let me leave. He said he was coming with me. He said I was his family and that he needed me because I was his alpha and he trusted me. Then he said that he didn't know if it was a pack thing, even though he's human, but he felt like he belonged with me." Derek recited as much as he could think of.

"That's it. He said he felt like he belongs with you." Derek could hear Peter's smirk in his tone.

"He didn't mean it romantically." Derek disagreed with an annoyed growl.

"Oh he definitely did, he just may not know it yet." Peter argued.

"Could you explain please." Derek snapped. He hated to be talking to Peter about this but he didn't have anyone else to ask.

"You kissed him, then he claims he feels like he belongs with you. He doesn't have the same reaction you do because he's not a werewolf but that was the equivalent of you smelling him stronger." Peter explained. 

"He doesn't just smell stronger he makes my head spin." Derek growled out.

"Because he's your mate, Derek." 

Derek clenched his jaw. 

"Why are you so upset, I'd have thought you'd be thrilled." Peter noted. 

"He's human, he's a hunter, and a Winchester no less. There is no way we're meant to be together." Derek was still pacing.

"I would have sensed it sooner." 

"No, you two were at each other's throats all the time. You weren't even friends. Plus he's human so your wolf wouldn't be able to smell it. But now you two have grown closer. He admitted to being physically attracted to you and then you kissed him. That triggered something in both of you but again he's human so it's not as easily sensed. But that feeling he has that makes him feel like he belongs with you is his mate pull. So until you two get together you're going to trigger each other. When two mates refuse to get together once the connection is made they will become sexually and emotionally frustrated. You'll have to fight your shift, he'll be angrier at you than normal. You'll want to rip each other apart but you'll also be incredibly protective and possessive of each other." Peter explained calmly. 

"Great, just what I need, to feel even more possessive and protective of Stiles. I didn't think that was possible." Derek groaned.

"Tell him, Derek." 

"I can't just tell him that, Peter, he doesn't even know what that means. And did I forget to mention he's s a Winchester?" Derek snapped.

"He won't reject you Derek, he's your mate." 

"Stop saying that." Derek growled.

"It's true. Your mate is a hunter, and from one of the most dangerous families alive." Peter chuckled.

"We're done here." Derek growled before hanging up his phone and throwing it on his bed. 

He'd never believed in mates. He'd only ever heard stories of people finding their mates. His mother always told him he'd know immediately when he found his, so Stiles couldn't be his mate. He'd have sensed it earlier. 

He sat on his bed with a frustrated huff. Stiles couldn't be his mate. He was a human and a hunter. Maybe Peter was wrong. Derek wished he had someone else he could ask. Suddenly Deaton popped into his head. He quickly dialed the veterinarians number. He had been his mother's emissary when she was alpha, before she died. 

"Derek, it's been a while. What can i do for you?" Deaton's familiar voice spoke through the phone.

"Do you anything about...mates?" Derek felt stupid even asking that. 

"I'm well versed, yes." Deaton answered simply.

"Can, can a human be a werewolf's mate?" Derek held his breath as he waited for Deaton's answer.

"Of course, though it's not as common. Am I to assume you have found yours?" Deaton asked.

Derek let out a frustrated huff. "I don't know. I felt something last night I've never felt before. I couldn't control my shift well. And their scent makes my head spun. It never used to do that." Derek answered, he was pacing his room again.

"Well if they are human then they must have sensed the 'mate pull' as it is often referred to. When there is a physical connection and an emotional connection the mate pull is triggered. This means that you two will be drawn together. They will feel like they need to be around you constantly, and you will smell their scent in a new way. If you two get together then the pull will be easy to manage. If you two don't get together then there will be tension and frustration. You'll both become overly protective of one another and if they get hurt you will feel an anger you've never imagined. If they are with someone else your wolf will feel like ripping them apart. They become your trigger." Deaton explained.

Derek continued to pace. "What if they are my anchor?" 

"If you are together then they won't be your trigger." Deaton answered.

"What if we aren't together?" 

"Why would you not be with them?" Deaton asked in confusion.

"Because their a hunter and their family would kill me instantly." Derek responded running a hand through his hair.

"Well that is a problem indeed." Deaton hummed.

"Have you two discussed your feelings for one another?" 

"Not exactly. We both admitted our physical attraction but I'm sure he doesn't feel anything else for me." Derek answered.

"Oh trust me, he does, even if he doesn't realize it." Deaton disagreed.

"I'm no good for him. He's better off..." Derek trailed, off he couldn't even say Stiles was better off with someone else without feeling his wolf bristle beneath the surface.

"I think you should leave that decision to Stiles." Deaton responded calmly. 

"How did you...?" 

"I'm not blind, Derek. I saw the connection you two had. A hunter who actively strives to protect a werewolf he doesn't know isn't natural. An alpha with trust issues always turning to a human he barely knows isn't natural. You both hated that pull you both felt and it caused you two to fight and argue. I thought for sure you two would figure it out after Stiles' possession, but you left. He was a wreck so I knew he had to be your mate. Clearly you two are back in contact and obviously getting along enough for the mate pull to be triggered in both of you." Deaton explained.

"He can't be. We can't be together. He's a Winchester." Derek stressed.

"Am I to assume his brother's are unaware of your wolf status?" 

"Obviously. We wouldn't be having this conversation if they did." Derek huffed.

"I am sorry, Derek. But he is your trigger and until you two get together he will continue to be a trigger, and the fact that he is your anchor as well is going to make it harder." Deaton sounded sympathetic.

"Thank you." Derek said before hanging up.

He threw the phone on his bed again. "Shit" 

Suddenly there was a knock at his door.

Derek frowned he hadn't heard anyone coming. He opened the door.

"Cas." Derek frowned.  
"What's wrong?" 

"Dean just got a call. There was an angel attack nearby." 

"Angel attack?" Derek frowned. 

"Dean thinks they're trying to draw them out. Stiles thinks it's a distraction from something more serious. Dean and Sam went to investigate the attack and Stiles went to the demon bar that you were attacked at to see if he can get some information." Cas explained.

"He went alone?" Derek growled. 

"He didn't want you to leave the bunker in case they were trying to get to you. He wanted me to assure you he'll be safe." Cas answered.

"I'm going after him." Derek said pushing past the angel.

"Wait." Cas grabbed Derek's arm.

"I got a call from Gabriel. They found my grace but it's too dangerous for me to meet them alone and I can't bring them here. No one is allowed to know where this place is. I could help Stiles a lot easier if I had my full power back." 

"Cas, I have to help Stiles. I can't let him do this alone. Let's get Stiles and then we will get your grace." Derek put a hand on the angel's shoulder. 

"Okay." Cas nodded much to Derek's surprise. He expected more of a fight. What he didn't know was the fighting would come later and it wouldn't be verbal.


	35. Weapon

Stiles stepped towards the bar. It seemed awfully quiet. He carefully pushed the door open, his angel blade at the ready. He was met with silence. He looked around the empty bar. There had been a fight here. He glanced at the bodies lying on the ground. Not one of them was breathing. Stiles walked carefully around the room. He couldn't find any evidence of who had killed the demons. 

"Well if it isn't the youngest Winchester." A female spoke causing him to whip around.

"Easy there. I just want to talk." The woman spoke calmly.

"Who are you?" Stiles demanded. 

"Naomi." The woman responded simply. 

"You're an angel." Stiles sneered.

"Aww, aren't you sweet." Another voice spoke walking up next to Naomi.

"You killed all these demons." Stiles said gesturing towards the dead bodies. 

"Unfortunately this is not our work." Naomi shook her head.

"Then who killed them?" 

"We heard that you managed to obtain the box with the secret weapon." Naomi said ignoring Stiles' question.

"It was no weapon. It was a distraction." Stiles answered glaring at the two angels.

"A distraction?" Naomi frowned.

"They planned to use it on me as a way to keep my brothers from stopping Ramiel." Stiles explained.

The second angel laughed a girlish laugh. 

"It's a good thing you're cute, cause that is the exact opposite."

"They wanted to keep us from getting the weapon because we planned to use it on you as a way to kill Ramiel. An old legend claims that the first hunter to kill a prince of hell was turned into a supernatural being. It's the only thing that can kill a prince of hell other than the the first blade, which was destroyed by your idiotic brother, the colt, which is missing, and the lance of Michael which hasn't been seen since the fall of man." Naomi explained.

"Wait you wanted to possess me with a Japanese spirit of chaos so that I could kill a prince of hell." Stiles frowned.

"Not everyone survives such a possession and lives to tell about it. You are obviously strong enough to withstand the possession. Most would have died within a week or even days but you, you lived through it. How did you do that?" Naomi asked.

"I had a pack of werewolves helping me. They were able to separate me from the nogitsune." Stiles answered uncomfortably. 

"Ah yes, the halfbreeds." Naomi nodded.

"Halfbreeds?" Stiles frowned.

"They were the original werewolves. When the wolves and humans turned on each other, a group of wolves made it their life mission to kill all the humans. As punishment they were cursed. God decided that they needed to have the heart of man and made it so they craved the taste of hearts. The werewolves that decided to stay clear of man and live in hiding were given the ability to control their shift and blend with their fellow man. The werewolves you hunt are the ones that were cursed. The ones like your precious Derek are the originals that are known as half breeds since they are more human than your typical werewolf." Naomi explained as if it was common knowledge.

"I heard of a hunter turned wolf who was able to kill demons with no weapon. The saliva of the wolf and the heart of a hunter made his bite lethal to them. But he had been born into the hunting life and was turned by the woman he loved. She was a halfbreed." The other angel spoke.

Naomi grinned devilishly at Stiles.

"Amber, you brilliant angel. We don't need the nogitsune at all. We just need a born hunter and a born werewolf." 

Stiles felt himself panic. He threw his angel blade embedding it into Amber's chest. He had his other one at the ready and aimed at Naomi. 

Suddenly the blade was knocked from his hand and he felt his arms being restrained from behind, before he could slip from their grasp he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head.

 

-

"He didn't just disappear. Are you sure he was even here?" Sam asked standing at the door of the bar.

"Yes." Derek snapped. He was sick with worry, he'd never felt this concerned for Stiles' safety before. 

"Sam." Dean held up a discarded angel blade near a shadow of wings, where an angel had obviously been killed.

"W" Dean read on the end. Stiles always engraved his weapons.

"So that means he killed the angel. There's no way a demon did." Sam stated.

"Angels have him, great." Dean kicked a nearby chair causing tge leg to snap.

Suddenly Cas was on his knees gripping his head. 

"Cas." Dean immediately dropped down next to the angel.

"Angel radio." Cas panted. The more his grace faded, the more painful angel radio was to hear. 

"What did they say?" Sam asked.

"They have the weapon to kill Ramiel. Stiles Winchester." Cas repeated looking worriedly between Sam and Dean.

"Where's the box." Derek demanded looking at Dean.

"Locked in a cursed objects box in the bunker. They don't have it." Sam shook his head.

"Then how is Stiles their weapon?" Derek snapped.

"They were going to use the box." Cas said suddenly.

"What?" Dean frowned.

"They think they can make Stiles into a weapon. It's recorded that only two hunters have succeeded in killing a prince of hell. Both born into the hunting life and was turned into a supernatural being." Cas explained. 

"There were two others?" Dean raised his brows.

"Yes, Azazel, Dagon, Asmodeous, Ramiel, Armaros, and Valac." Cas nodded.

"Great so what we kill them by turning into vampires?" Dean huffed, it was clear he was irritated.

"No one is sure what spirit the first hunter had been possessed by but the second hunter was turned into a werewolf by his lover. She was a born werewolf. It only works if it's an original supernatural being." Cas said tossing a glance at a very stiff Derek.

"Yeah, I'm not liking any of these options." Dean snapped. 

"Dean, we have the box which means they have something else. We need to get moving, fast." Sam piped up.

At that moment Sam's phone went off. He huffed before answering.

"Stop calling me Gabriel, I didn't answer the first ten times for a reason." 

"Yes, and I'm guessing that reason has something to do with the fact that Naomi has Stiles. I made a few calls and found out that they are keeping him at the old abandoned church on Vanderbilt. I have Cassie's grace, but it's not safe for me to bring it. Go get your little brother and then bring me mine." Gabriel spoke quickly.

"Deal." Sam hung up before turning to the others.

"I know where they're keeping Stiles."

-

Stiles fought against the restraints. "Let me go you dickbags." Stiles growled. 

"You sound like Dean. Has anyone ever told you that you're just like him?" Naomi hummed as she placed a needle in his arm.

"This may sting but, you've been through worse." The angel smiled before forcing a red liquid into Stiles' arm. 

It barely hurt him. "What is that?" Stiles asked.

"Just a little werewolf blood. Don't worry, it's from an alpha" Naomi answered simply. 

Stiles thrashed trying desperately to get the needle out but the chains holding him were too tight. 

"Let me go." Stiles struggled again.

"While we're waiting, I want answers. What did Castiel do to help Metatron?" Naomi asked.

"He was tricked, he didn't help him." Stiles snapped. 

Suddenly Stiles felt a hard snack on his face. Naomi had back handed him.

"Tell me his plan." The angry angel demanded.

"There isn't one." 

Another smack.

Stiles grit his teeth. He couldn't wait to shove an angel blade through her.

"So I don't know how much of this you'll need, so tell me when you start to feel a little animalistic." Naomi grinned.

"Oh trust me, I'm already feeling a little animalistic." Stiles snarled.

"Such a temper. Just like ol' John. You know there was a time I was sent to protect him from a terrible accident. Guardian angels don't follow you everywhere but when you get orders to make sure John Winchester stays alive, you follow through. " Naomi spoke. She was clearly trying to get under Stiles' skin. 

"Should have let him die." Stiles sneered.

"Really? You know he's in heaven with your mom. They're happy." Naomi continued.

Stiles didn't respond. His head began to spin and he felt nauseous. His skin felt like it was on fire and his bones were trying to break through. 

A liquid forced itself up his esophagus. He hurled a black substance on the floor before falling unconscious.


	36. I'm sorry

Derek stepped out of the car and was immediately hit with Stiles' scent but he also smelled something else, it wasn't quite blood but it was familiar.   
Derek suddenly heard Stiles faint cry.

Unable to control it, his eyes turned crimson red and his claws extended. He bolted into the church with Cas, Dean, and Sam yelling after him.

"Where the hell is he going?" Dean snapped as he hurried after the alpha. 

 

Stiles woke with a sharp pain in his neck.

"Ah, there you are. I as worried we were gonna lose you." Naomi grinned pulling an empty syringe from Stiles' neck. 

"What did you do?" Stiles coughed. Black mucus dripped from his nose.

"I just gave you a little adrenaline to wake you up." Naomi shrugged simply. 

"So while we're waiting, why don't you tell me about Metatrons plan. Why did he cast all the angels out of heaven and then seal the doors?" Naomi crossed her legs as Stiles coughed again.

"He wants to be God, are you really that stupid?" Stiles scoffed.

Naomi grit her teeth and took a glass of water from next to her and splashed it in his face.

Stiles yelled out as the liquid seared his skin. He looked at the slightly purple tinged water in the other glasses.

"Wolfsbane." Stiles grit out. So this is what Derek felt when he came in contact with the poisonous plant.

As if Derek had heard Stiles thinking about him, he busted into the room, completely wolfed out. 

"D-Derek." Stiles sputtered as he coughed up more black fluid. 

"Stiles." Derek rushed to the hunter quickly yanking on the chains and letting them fall to floor. Stiles fell forward as he tried to stand. 

Before Derek was able to help him three angel charged at him. Derek fought off one of them with his angel blade. He had suppressed his wolf mostly but his eyes shined their alpha red. Nothing mattered but getting Stiles out of there.

Stiles yanked the catheter from his arm allowing blood to pool around him. He hurled more black bile as he fell to his hands. He stayed on his hands and knees as the bitter liquid continues to force itself up.

"St-Stiles." Derek suddenly dropped to his knees next to the youngest Winchester. 

"What did they do?" Derek frowned at the mess on the floor. Why was Stiles throwing this up? The last time he'd seen anything like this was when Jackson's body tried to reject the bite. 

Suddenly, Derek's world came crumbling down around him as images of Paige dying in his arms, plagued his memory. He had only been a teenager but he'd loved her. She was not cause of him and her body rejected the bite. She begged him to stop her pain as she layed dying. He had ended it swiftly to put her out of her misery but he had died a little that day too, and now in front of him, the only other person he's truly loved since Paige, was dying the same way. 

Derek lifted Stiles' chin. "Where's the bite?" 

Maybe he could heal it and reverse the effects. He'd never heard such a thing but he was desperate. 

"No...bite..." Stiles choked. He gripped Derek's shoulder. 

"What?" Derek frowned in confusion. Stiles pointed at the bloodied catheter on the floor next to them.

"Alpha blood." Stiles was growing weaker.

"Get away from him." Dean's voice suddenly boomed. 

Derek looked up to come face to face with the barrel of Dean's pistol.

 

Derek swallowed. They'd seen.

"Dean, no." Stiles scrambled to reach for his brother but Dean didn't look away from Derek. His eyes held so much hate and betrayal.

"Dean, just wait." Sam put a hand on Dean's arm. 

"Cas, please." Stiles begged as he coughed once again.

Dean jerked his head towards Cas. Derek took the opportunity to knock the gun from Dean's hand.   
Dean whirled around already pulling another weapon out of his jacket. 

"Dean, I know your pissed but let me save Stiles. You can kill me afterwards but please, I need to save him." Derek pleaded, his hands up proving he had no intention of hurting anyone. 

"Derek." Stiles choked. Derek dropped to his knees and gripped Stiles' hand, pulling the pain from the hunter  
His hunter His mate. 

"Stiles, I'm here, I promise I won't leave." Derek said pulling Stiles into him.

Dean turned to Cas who was looking away. 

"You knew." Dean growled. 

Cas didn't answer. He knew Dean would be mad, but with his brother severely injured, he was beyond mad.

"Answer me dammit."   
Dean grabbed Cas' arm, yanking him so they were now face to face.

 

"Yes, Dean, I knew." Cas snapped. Dean held the knife he'd pulled when Derek knocked his gun away. 

"If Stiles' dies, I'm blaming you." Dean seethed.

"Dean, come on."  Sam pulled his brother's arm as Derek carried an almost unconcious Stiles out.

-

Once they got Stiles back to the bunker Derek laid him down in his bed. He didn't want to ruin Stiles' bed.

"You got him out, now leave." Dean's voice snapped from behind Derek.

"Dean, listen to me, I know you hate me-" 

"Hate you? You lied to me. You lived here, under our protection and you lied to us. I don't hate you. I want you dead. But, Sam said if I killed you, Stiles would never forgive me. I weighed my options. So here's the deal, you leave. If Stiles dies, you die. I will hunt the ends of this earth to make sure I'm the one who kills you." Dean's voice was so deep and serious, Derek actually feared for his life.

Derek dropped his head. "Dean, he's gonna die." Derek spoke his voice cracking as he did so.

"What's wrong with him?" Derek looked up to see Dean had tears in his eyes.

"She pumped alpha blood into his system. She tried turning him but..." Derek forced his own tears to stay at bay.

"But what?" Dean snapped.

"There are only two responses to being turned. You change, or you die. Stiles' body is rejecting it. He's gonna die." Derek choked on the last sentence. 

"No, there has to be something we can do. We have an antidote. It has to work." Dean stalked out of the room yelling for Sam. 

Antidote? There was no antidote. 

Derek sat next to Stiles. He gripped both hands and started to pull his pain. There was a lot. Stiles would never survive this. 

Derek felt tears start down his cheeks he wasn't a crier, but this was a repeat of his childhood. Was this how his life was destined to be? To love and have it torn from him? 

"Is there nothing that can be done?" Cas spoke as he walked in.

Derek didn't even bother wiping away the tears. 

"I- I don't know. This wasn't done the traditional way." Derek shook his head.

"You have an emissary right? Deacon?" Cas asked trying to recall everything he had found on the Hale pack when he did his research.

"Deaton, yes, he's an emissary." Derek nodded.

"Perhaps he could help." Cas suggested.

Derek nodded as he put his phone on speaker and called the vet.

"Derek, twice in one day, I'm not sure if this is good news or bad." Deaton answered. 

At that moment Sam and Dean walked in.

"It's bad, very bad. Stiles is turning, well more like rejecting it, but he wasn't bit. They injected him with alpha blood. He's throwing up and coughing that awful black liquid. Please tell me it can be reversed." Derek held his breath as he waited for Deaton's response.  

"It's hard to know for sure. Do you how much blood they gave him?" Deaton asked concerned.

"No, I didn't get the chance to ask, as i was fighting off literal angels." Derek snapped. His eyes were red again and he knew it.

"Derek, remember what I told you, he is a trigger, you need to concentrate so you can help him." Deaton spoke calmly, the sound of turning pages in the background. 

"Just tell me what to do." Derek growled impatiently. 

Derek was too concerned with Stiles to notice Dean's death glare. Sam kept him from removing Derek all together. He was absorbing something  which meant he was helping, and at that moment Stiles was all that was important.

"Okay, only an alpha can do this..." Deaton said obviously reading something. 

"Okay, I'm an alpha, tell me what to do." Derek snapped impatiently.

"I assume your pulling his pain?" Deaton asked.

"There's so much of it." Derek said looking down at the black veins in his arms.

"Okay, you're going to have to pull all of his pain out. It could cause you to lose your alpha status." Deaton read.

"I don't care if it kills me." Derek growled.

"Okay, I need you to think of something that makes you stronger. Whether it be pain, anger, love, whatever it is focus on it, feel it and pull the pain. It will hurt but it should pull the alpha spark from him, since he wasn't bitten directly." Deaton explained. 

Derek didn't respond, he held on to Stiles' hands tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. He thought of his family and the fire. He though of Kate and Jennifer, he thought of Paige and the way the life left her eyes. He couldn't let that happen to Stiles. He wouldn't. He felt burning in his arms, but he didn't let go. 

 

Derek didn't realize the words he was speaking as he concentrated.

"I'm so sorry Stiles, I'm sorry I left Beacon Hills, I'm sorry I didn't call, I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry that I left again and I'm sorry I tried to leave today. I know I'm always leaving, but right now, I'm begging you not to leave me. I can't do this without you, Stiles. You're my anchor, my trigger, my best friend, my family, my mate." Derek's voice broke as he spoke the last word. The pain was spreading through his whole body. His fangs extended as he grit his teeth at the pain, when suddenly, it stopped. 

Stiles went limp causing Derek's eyes to shoot open. 

"Stiles?" Derek panicked. Stiles wasn't breathing. 

"No, no, no, no." Derek felt his wolf push to come through.

"Derek?" Stiles' voice spoke. He was alive.


	37. You can't do this

The rushing sound of Stiles' breath.  immediately calmed Derek. 

"Stiles." Derek sighed with relief as his eyes met the whiskey color of Stiles. 

Stiles sat up then suddenly. "Wait, what happened? I was...wasn't I..." Stiles furrowed his brow as he tried to decide if everything had been a dream.

Suddenly Dean had pulled Stiles up and into his arms. He hugged his brother tightly, as if he was afraid he might disappear. 

Stiles pulled back and looked at his brothers. "I'm guessing all that wasn't a dream." 

Sam only shook his head as he pulled Stiles into him. 

"We thought for sure..." Sam trailed off unable to say it out loud. 

Stiles turned to Cas who gave him a gentle hug. 

Derek was afraid to move or speak. It was as if everyone had forgotten he was in the room. He feared he'd draw attention to himself and he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with Stiles as long as possible. The idea of leaving him and possibly never seeing him again hurt deeply. It hurt him and especially his wolf. 

Suddenly Stiles said his name almost concerned. "Derek." 

Derek looked at the hunter. He smelled the anger rise in Dean. 

Stiles went to hug Derek but Dean pulled him back forcefully. 

"He's alive, so you know what that means." Dean growled out.

Derek dropped his head as he looked to the floor.

"Dean." Cas spoke.

"Don't you dare. You knew, you let this happen." Dean snapped turning to face the angel.

"It's fine Cas, Stiles is okay, that's all that matters." Derek said as he went to walk out of the room. 

"What? No, you can't leave." Stiles said trying to get passed Dean. 

Dean blocked Stiles from getting around him. "Oh yes he can." 

"No, you can't do this, he hasn't done anything wrong." Stiles snapped fighting to get passed Dean.

"He's a damn werewolf, Stiles, you're lucky to be alive." Dean snapped back. 

"I'm alive because of him. He saved my life more times than I can count. He's not dangerous." Stiles' tone was getting desperate.

"All monsters are dangerous, Stiles, you know that." Dean snapped again.

"No, he's not-"

Derek cut in. "It's okay Stiles." 

Stiles looked passed his brother at the werewolf.

"Dean, at least let him say goodbye." Sam said with a sympathetic frown. 

Dean clenched his jaw as he moved out of Stiles' way.

Stiles ran to Derek, gripping him in a tight hug. 

Derek held Stiles close. He didn't want to let go. He loved him so much, but he promised himself he couldn't come between Stiles and his brothers. 

"I'm so sorry, Stiles." Derek spoke burrying his face into Stiles neck. He let Stiles scent and touch calm his wolf, but nothing could calm him. He fought the tears, he couldn't cry. He had to let Stiles know everything was okay, he was okay, even if it wasn't true.


	38. Reckless

"Stiles." Sam took a step towards his younger brother.

"Sam, please, he's not dangerous, I swear." Stiles wiped at his still falling tears. 

"Stiles, he's a werewolf, he is dangerous. Even if he's never done anything, he-"

"No, you don't understand he's not like the ones we hunt, he's different." Stiles huffed in frustration.

"He's not different, Stiles, you're just blinded by love." Dean snapped returning to the room.

"I'm not a fifteen year old kid anymore, Dean. I'm an adult. I'm not reckless or stupid. I know what I'm doing and I trust Derek. I'm not blinded by love, you're just jaded." Stiles snapped.

"Not reckless?! You travelled across country with a werewolf. That sounds pretty damn reckless to me." Dean barked. 

"And you let him." Dean turned his anger to Cas. 

"It's not Cas's fault. You want to blame someone? Blame yourself, you're the one who sent me off to Beacon Hills." Stiles snapped coming to Cas' defense.

"That doesn't mean you buddy up with a werewolf." Dean growled.

"It's not like I intended to." Stiles snapped. He was so pissed and devastated, he didn't know if his tears were from the anger or the pain.

"You knew, did you not?" Dean asked, glaring at his youngest brother.

"About Derek? Yes. But I didn't know about Scott or Lydia or Allison. In fact Scott was bit because of me. Did I know Derek was? Yes, because he was trying to help Scott. Did I know Malia was? Yes, cause we helped her get back home. Did I know about Isaac? Yeah, cause Derek is the one who turned him. Did I know about Theo? No, not until Derek told me. Did any of this stop me from being friends with them or helping them or dating them? No, because they aren't dangerous." Stiles was shouting at this point. 

Dean looked like he was going to snap. 

"Stiles, what are you talking about?" Sam frowned, a hint of frustration in his tone. 

"Everyone I was friends with was a werewolf, or banshee, or hunter. And it was hard at first but you always say, we save people, we don't kill them." Stiles said looking at Sam. 

"Did I make a few mistakes? Yes, but-" 

"Those aren't mistakes Stiles, those are choices." Dean yelled. 

 

"Okay, fine, I chose to help Scott get through his transition. I helped him learn to control his shift. I let Derek help us. I saved Derek's life when Kate Argent shot him with a wolfsbane bullet. He saved my life from his insane uncle. I saved Lydia, by agreeing to help said uncle. I helped Derek take him down so he could kill him. I helped Derek become an alpha.  He saved my life when Isaac was learning to control his shift. I saved him from Kate, who was torturing him. He saved me from a kanima, I held him up in eight feet of water, when he got paralyzed, for two hours. I helped Lydia as she learned she was a banshee. I helped take down the kanima. Should I go on?" Stiles was now standing face to face with Dean.

"That all sounds pretty reckless." Dean growled. 

"We literally look for monsters and we kill them. One of our allies is the king of hell. You wanna talk reckless? Let's go through some of Dean's greatest hits." Stiles snapped taking another step forward.

"Okay, let's calm down." Sam said stepping in. 

"Did you not just hear what he said? He risked his life to help monsters, Sam, monsters." Dean snapped turning to face Sam.

"Dean, we help people. It sounds like he did a lot of good while he was there." Sam spoke calmly.

 

"Are you serious? He dated a werewolf, Sam. Two in fact." Dean scoffed. He couldn't believe Sam was taking Stiles' side.

"You dated Benny. What's the difference?" Sam frowned at Dean, who froze in place. 

"Who's Benny?" Stiles frowned.

"You dated Benny?" Cas asked a hint of betrayal in his tone. 

"That was a mistake." Dean growled. 

"No, Dean, that was a choice." Sam disagreed.

"Who's Benny?" Stiles asked again, more insistent this time. 

"A vampire he met when we were in purgatory." Cas answered not looking away from Dean.

"Are you kidding me right now?!" Stiles yelled.

"We partnered up and he helped me get out of there." Dean sighed.

"And then you and Crowley." Cas spoke again.

"That was one time, and I was a demon." Dean snapped. 

Stiles looked at Dean with disgust and betrayal. 

"Derek, isn't a typical werewolf. He's a halfbreed, look it up." Stiles growled quietly before storming out of the room.

-

Derek sat with his back against a tree. Every piece of him yearned to be with Stiles. He had never felt so alone before. His phone rang causing hope to swell in his chest. He wanted it to be Stiles so badly. He frowned when He saw Cas' name. 

"Cas?" Derek answered, his tone laced with worry. Had something happened to Stiles?

"Derek, I hope I'm not disturbing you." Cas spoke calmly. 

Derek snorted, looking at his surroundings. He was about two miles into the woods that butted up to the bunker. There was nothing to disturb him from. 

"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

"Well the Winchester brothers all got into a fight and I am planning to slip out to meet my brother. He has my grace. I know I'm not strong enough to get it myself and I can't ask Dean, he's pretty mad and to be honest, I don't really want to be around him right now. Sam would insist on telling Dean, and Stiles...well I don't expect I'll see him for the rest of the evening." Cas answered. 

"Is he...okay?" Derek asked hesitantly.

"He's pretty upset." Cas answered honestly. 

Derek closed his eyes, trying to push the image of Stiles' crying from his mind.

"So when do we meet your brother?" Derek asked not wanting to talk about Stiles anymore.

"Thank you, Derek, you'll be in my debt." Cas responded with relief.  
"Meet me outside the bunker."

"I'll be there." Derek agreed hanging up.

 

Cas gathered a few weapons before loading up his car. He hoped the brothers wouldn't hear him leaving. Fortunately for him Stiles was in the shower, Dean was blaring music into his ears and Sam had fallen asleep.

"Derek, thank you for helping me." Cas smiled gratefully at the alpha. 

"Sure, Cas." Derek nodded climbing into the car.

"I know this is probably a dumb question but, are you alright?" Cas asked glancing at Derek

 

"I'm fine." Derek nodded.

"It's okay to be upset, you and Stiles were close." Cas said. He could tell Derek didn't want to talk about it but he knew it would help if he did. He was a lot like Dean, in that regard. Dean didn't like to talk about his feelings or troubles.

"I did fine in the year we didn't see each other, I think I'll manage." Derek answered blatantly. 

"Perhaps, but you didn't know he was your mate then." Cas pointed out.

Derek snapped his head towards the angel. "What?" 

"I heard you mention it to Stiles when you were saving him." Cas shrugged.

Derek clenched his jaw. He hadn't realized he'd said that loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Which, I see you didn't lose your alpha spark." Cas smiled gently at a stewing Derek.

Derek closed his eyes forcing them to turn back to their sage green color.

"Dean just worries for Stiles. Stiles has a habit of being reckless." Cas continued to talk calmly.

"Oh, I'm aware." Derek mumbled. 

"I know you're not dangerous, Derek, and I know you two are important to each other. I don't know much about your kind, as you blend well with humans and we never hunt you, but I know the loyalty wolves have for their pack. They were always one of my favorites of God's creations. So majestic, fierce and loyal. The Winchesters reminded me of wolves when I first met them. I know you grew to care for Sam and Dean as well. You and Dean were awfully similar and often agreed. I know Dean appreciated it, as Sam tends to side with Stiles." Cas rambled gently.

"He didn't last night." Derek pointed out, a slight bitterness to his tone.

"Actually, he did. He waited until you left. If Sam and Stiles tag teamed him with you there, I have a feeling he might have snapped." Cas glanced at Derek who was frowning. 

"Dean, is sometimes a loose cannon. He has a fuse, and what might set him off one day, might not the next." 

"Yet you love him despite that." Derek nodded. He understood, he loved Stiles despite how much he drove Derek crazy or how reckless he was.

Cas looked at Derek with a slight head tilt. Derek smirked at the dog joke Stiles would have made, had he been there.

"Is that what I feel towards him?" Cas asked. He looked as if Derek had just asked him to solve a ridiculous math problem. 

"You don't know?" Derek raised his brows at the angel.

 

"I'm still figuring out these emotions and feelings. Dean thought I loved Sam but Sam helped me realize that I loved him and Stiles the same way. It was Dean I felt differently towards. I thought it was just the profound bond from when I pulled him from hell." Cas spoke thoughtfully. 

"Dean...was in...hell." Derek frowned trying to process what Cas had just said.

"Oh yes, for many years, though it was only a few months on earth, he endured endless torture." Cas nodded as if it was no big deal.

"No wonder the guy has issues." Derek said more to himself.

Cas sat quietly for a moment when Derek let out a sigh.

"Werewolves, or at least my kind, have the ability to smell through chemosignals, allowing us to smell what someone is feeling." Derek explained.

"When you are with Dean, you smell of content and happiness. When he talked about Crowley, you smelled of jealousy." Derek glanced at Cas who looked slightly upset. 

"I'm in love with Dean." Cas spoke almost sadly.

"You don't seem happy about that revelation." Derek noted raisinghis brows at him again.

"I cannot be in love with Dean. He is my friend, my family, I-" Cas cut himself off, frowning.

"You're afraid." Derek said. He was able to smell the anxiety and fear Cas was currently feeling.

Cas didn't respond. He looked like he was processing his feelings.

"I'm not sure." Cas finally spoke.

"It wasn't a question." Derek said, looking at Cas with a small smile.

"You can smell it." Cas nodded.

Derek nodded too.

"Thank you, Derek, for helping me to understand these feelings." Cas spoke sincerely. 

"Sure, Cas." Derek shook his head grinning. He would definitely miss the angel.


	39. I wasn't asking

Derek frowned as he stepped out of Cas' car. 

"Is something wrong?" Cas asked noticing Derek's discomfort.

"It's quiet. Too quiet." Derek looked around. They were meeting Gabriel at an old shipyard. 

"Gabriel just text me. He said when we get here to meet him near the blue cargo containers he'll be at number three." Cas said putting his phone away and looking around.

"That's awfully specific." Derek narrowed his eyes slightly. His wolf was bristling beneath the surface. Something was off. 

"Gabriel is an odd one." Cas nodded.

Derek raised his brows at the angel beside him. "More odd than you?" 

"Perhaps more equipped with people skills, but yes more odd than me." Cas answered defensively. 

Derek chuckled, earning a smirk in return.

"Over here." Cas said pointing towards a set of blue shipping containers.

"Is there a reason he wanted to meet in such a secluded spot?" Derek felt his wolf itching to come through but Derek forced it down. 

"A lot of angels don't know where Gabriel has been the past millennia, in fact only myself and Balthazar, as far as I know. The only reason he's been pulled into this is because of the Winchesters. He drew too much attention to himself. After it was revealed to me who he was we cornered him."

"Cornered him? Isn't he like an archangel?" Derek frowned at Cas.

"Yes, he is." Cas answered simply.

"And you managed to corner an archangel?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"There are ways." Cas smiled looking at Derek. 

"Right. So why didn't he just disappear again?" Derek pressed.

"One word, Sam." Cas smirked.

"Sam Winchester?" Derek raised his brows in surprise.

"Gabriel had screwed with him several times, whenever they crossed paths. Gabriel took a liking to him. I didn't understand it myself but, Sam would be good for him." Cas nodded.

"So Dean and Sam fall for the angels and Stiles falls for the monster." Derek scoffed at the irony.

"You're no monster Derek. I have a very good judge of character, when they aren't angels, and you are the opposite of a monster." Cas shook his head seriously.

"Also, I fell for Dean, not the other way around." Cas corrected gently.

Derek smirked but didn't respond.

"Okay, he said three." Cas hummed as he checked the containers.

"Cas, we're not alone." Derek said suddenly hearing a few heartbeats not too far away.

"He probably brought Balthazar." Cas said not seeming concerned.

Derek stopped suddenly. Was this all a trick? Was Cas leading him into a trap? He hated to doubt the angel but, he was head over heels for Dean. If Dean had asked Cas to kill him, Stiles couldn't be mad at Dean.

"Cas." Derek said his voice deeper than before.

"Yes?" Cas asked not looking away from the numbers.

"Did Dean ask you to bring me here?" Derek asked. There was no reason to beat around the bush.

Cas turned to Derek. He tilted his head in confusion. "Why would you think that?" 

"Answer the question." Derek growled slightly. 

"You think, I'm gonna kill you." Cas said in realization.

"Are you? And remember I can tell if you're lying." Derek felt his claws dig into his palms a bit. He kept his hands in fists at his side. 

"I would never hurt you, Derek." Cas answered honestly.

"Did you lead me here for a reason?" Derek asked wanting to believe Cas wouldn't so something like that but, his jaded past kept him guarded.

"I would never let anyone hurt you. I would protect you as if you were a Winchester." Cas answered. 

Derek relaxed. There was no skip or sputter in Cas' heartbeat.

"Then you should be aware that there are more than two heartbeats." Derek said listening closely.

"How many more?" Cas frowned.

"Three more." Derek answered.

"Five total?" Cas asked his tone laced with worry.

"We need to get out of here, Cas." Derek said his eyes turning their alpha red.

"Gabriel might be in trouble." Cas said walking towards the meeting place with more purpose.

"Cas, I'm not letting you go." Derek growled reaching Cas' side quickly. 

"I'm not asking you, Derek." Cas said with a look that told Derek there was no stopping him.

"Fine." Derek huffed. Before he could take a step forward Cas pulled him back. 

"You're staying here." Cas ordered.

"No, I'm not." Derek growled.

"I will not be responsible for you getting hurt or killed." Cas shook his head.

"I wasn't asking." Derek growled going to step past the angel.

"Just like a damn Winchester." Cas huffed.

"Derek, wait." 

Derek paused turning around.

"I'm sorry, Derek." Cas sighed, walking up to the werewolf.

Derek frowned but before he could ask, Cas put two finger to Derek's forehead. The alpha dropped into a temporary unconsciousness.

Cas stepped around the container labeled two and saw Gabriel locked in a ring of fire, holy fire. 

"There he is, welcome, Castiel." Naomi grinned.

"You said he'd come with a Wimchester." Naomi sneered at Gabriel. "I'm disappointed." 

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"What did you do to him?" Cas demanded taking a step forward.

"Oh just a simple silence sigel. We couldn't have him yelling across the shipyard, now could we?" Naomi grinned.

"It's me you want, let him go." Cas demanded. 

"Oh, so bossy for someone who is lacking in Grace." Naomi held up a small glass jar with a light blue essence.

Cas dropped an angel blade down the sleeve of his trench coat and to his hand. 

"Come on Castiel, you can't possibly think you'll win against us." Another angel, that Cas knew as Ephram, spoke up. 

Cas saw another angel to his right pull a blade of his own. He quickly threw his, landing it in the chest of the unknown angel.

"Castiel, we do not wish to fight." Naomi snapped.

Castiel pulled another blade from inside his coat.

"I don't believe you." Cas said between clenched teeth.

"Ezekiel, would you kindly erase the silence sigel on Gabriel." Naomi sighed.

Once the sigel was removed Gabriel spoke worriedly.

"Castiel, I'm sorry, just go, I can handle myself." Gabriel said looking at Cas.

"I'm not leaving you here, and I need my Grace." Cas shook his head. 

"Then perhaps we can make a deal. Your Grace, for the youngest Winchester." Naomi offered.

"Not gonna happen." Cas rejected immediately.

"I thought you might say that, so let's sweeten the deal. We will give you your Grace and Gabriel in exchange for Stiles." Naomi offered again. 

"Or I could just kill you." Cas answered harshly.

Ephram laughed. 

"You're weak. I can feel Ishmaels Grace fading as we speak. I could kill you with a snap of my fingers." 

"We can't kill him. He is our only leverage over the Winchesters." A voice spoke from Castiel's left.

"If you think Sam and Dean are going to hand over Stiles in exchange for me, you're dumber than I thought." Cas said looking at the angel, he believed her name to be Gail.

"That sounds like a death wish to me." Ephram said pulling out his angel blade. 

Gail lunged at Cas. She caught Cas' arm barley scratching him as he jumped out of the way.

Naomi struck next catching the side of Cas' face. 

"Cas." A voice growled from behind them. 

Derek growled as he pulled his own angel blade that Cas had armed him with.

"Oh look who it is. The Winchesters pet wolf." Naomi grinned devilishly. 

"You're the one who almost killed Stiles." Derek snarled recognizing the angel.

"Yes well apparently he can't handle the transition from human to werewolf but he can handle the possession of an evil Japanese spirit for weeks on end." Naomi sneered.

Derek's wolf wanted to rip this woman to shreds but the angel blade was the only thing that could hurt her.

Derek swung his angel blade missing Naomi by a hair. She, however, managed to swipe him with hers. The pain hurt more than it should have. He knew angel blades were like alpha wounds as far as being harder to heal but this felt different. The familiar burning made Derek snarl again.

"Wolfsbane. After your little run in at the diner I decided to be prepared, just in case." Naomi grinned.

Instead of responding Derek attacked again.

 

-

 

Dean frowned down at the book in his hands. He, Sam, and Stiles hadn't said a word to one another. They had all busied themselves doing research. 

A loud banging caused Dean and Sam to look up from their books and Stiles to step out of the library. All of them instinctually pulled their guns out. 

Dean walked towards the door. He looked to his brothers as he hesitated to open the door. They gave a nod as they held their guns at the ready. They weren't expecting anyone and Cas would come in through the garage. 

Dean pulled the door open. Derek stumbled forward, looking half dead and covered in blood with an unconscious Cas in his arms, who was also covered in blood.


	40. You promised

"Cas." Dean immediately put his gun away and caught Cas as Derek's knees buckled.

"Derek." Stiles rushed to the alpha. 

"What did you do?" Dean snapped glaring at Derek. 

"Na...omi." Derek struggled to speak.

Sam helped Stiles with Derek as Dean carried Cas down the hall.

"We'll put them both in here." Sam gestured to a room that had three beds. They used it as their healing room, on rare occasion when it was needed.

Dean layed Cas on the bed. "Cas? Cas. Come on, wake up. Damn it Cas, please." Dean begged, wiping the blood from a cut under Cas' right eye as he cupped the angels. 

"What the hell happened?" Dean yelled turning to Derek as he stood. His face was red with anger.

"Don't yell at him." Stiles stood, standing between his brother and Derek, who was currently sitting on one of the beds.

"Gabriel...had his grace but..." Derek paused.

"There were more." 

"His note said he was running to the store." Dean growled. 

Derek shook his head. "Last night, he...called me. He wanted me to go with him to....meet Gabriel. Naomi had set a trap. They were trying to bargain...his Grace for...Stiles." Derek swayed slightly.

"Derek, maybe you should lie down." Sam suggested, helping Derek lie back. 

"Where is Gabriel?" Dean asked between grit teeth.

"Naomi took him and Cas' grace. I could have caught her but..." Derek shook his head.

"I couldn't leave Cas. They would have killed him."

"They took Gabriel?" Sam frowned in confusion.

"They had him in... a ring of fire and...handcuffs that...he couldn't get out of. I got Cas here...as fast as I..." Derek grimaced in pain.

"Derek, why aren't you healing?" Stiles asked worriedly as he inspected a few of his wounds.

Derek tried to respond but only a pained growl came out.

"Wolfsbane." Stiles said as he saw the rawness of Derek's wounds. He remembered when Derek had been shot with a wolfsbane bullet. 

"Their...blades." Derek growled out.

Stiles saw as sweat began to build up on Derek's forehead. His face was already as white as a sheet.

"I need to clean these." Stiles said, his tone slightly panicked.

"It's no use." Derek grumbled as he struggled to speak.

"No use? Derek, wolfsbane can kill you, did you forget that?" Stiles snapped.

"Stiles, it's okay." Derek said gripping Stiles' hand weakly. 

"No, it's not okay." Stiles jerked away from Derek. 

Derek closed his eyes in a slight grimace. 

"I didn't save your ass all those times so you could die once we finally became got close." Stiles snapped.

"I couldn't... let you guys lose Cas...I know how important...he is." Derek huffed as he tried to ignore the pain. 

"You're important to me too, Derek. See that's the thing with you, you don't care if you die, but you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated. Death doesn't happen to you, it happens to those around you. I'd think you of all people would know that." Stiles knew that was a low blow but he was pissed. 

Derek flinched at his words.

"Stiles, why don't you go get some alcohol and a few towels." Sam suggested leading Stiles to the door.

"He's just worried, don't take it too hard." Sam spoke sympathetically. 

Derek nodded. 

"Sam." Derek spoke quietly. 

"Don't let Stiles...do anything stupid. Don't let him be... miserable." Derek pleaded gently.

"Don't talk like that. We're going to help you, any way we can." Sam frowned. 

"Don't...If I can't be with Stiles...there's...no point. He's the only thing...that matters to me." Derek let out another pained growl. 

"I'm sure that's not true." Sam shook his head as he pulled a few blankets from the closet.

"You don't understand...I have...A connection with him that can...never be broken. My wolf...depends on him." Derek shifted his weight as he coughed.

"When you were healing him you mentioned him being your mate. Is that what you're talking about?" Sam asked handing a blanket to Dean.

"I didn't know until...it's complicated. I never believed in that kind of thing...but It's different with him now. His presence...his voice, his....everything. It's like my wolf's main purpose now is...to protect Stiles." Derek coughed again only this time he coughed up a small amount of blood. 

"That doesn't seem like a good sign." Dean said frowning at the werewolf. 

"I'm sure...you're pleased." Derek said wiping the blood from his mouth.

Dean looked down at Cas, his hands gripping Cas'. "If what you say is true, about what happened, then I owe you. You've not only saved Stiles but Cas as well. I can't claim you a monster when you've done nothing but prove otherwise." 

Sam looked at Dean with a look of surprise. 

"Is he gonna be...okay? He did some kind of spell...so I wouldn't help him. He went in knowing...how many...by the time I got there-" Derek coughed up more blood cutting himself off.

Sam smirked slightly. "Ah yes, the fingers to the head trick. Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all fallen victim to that one."

Dean turned to the unconscious angel. 

"I don't know how to fix this. He's..." Dean cut himself off as he choked back tears.

"The last thing I said to him...I yelled at him. He had been so mad at Cas for not telling him about Derek, and now he may never get the chance to talk to him again. He stood up walking towards the door.

"Dean." Sam sighed. He knew the spiral Dean was headed down. He followed the same pattern anytime they lost someone close to them.

"He's gonna be okay. We'll figure something out. We always do." Sam's tone was sympathetic. Sam had always been the calm one of the three brothers. 

Dean turned to his younger brother.  
"What if we can't this time, Sam? Cas is completely unresponsive, Derek is literally drowning in his own blood. If he dies, Stiles will never forgive me. And if Cas-" Dean couldn't even say it. 

"I can't lose anymore people, Sam, I can't do it." Dean turned back away. He was supposed to be the big brother, he was supposed to keep it together, but he just couldn't.

Sam didn't respond, he knew nothing he could say would make Dean feel better. 

"I'm gonna go check on Stiles." Sam said slipping from the room. 

"I'm sorry." Derek spoke quietly.

Dean turned to the werewolf. "I'm sure you did everything you could." 

"It wasn't enough." Derek coughed this time more blood came up.

Dean grabbed a near by trash can and set it beside Derek's bed. "Here." 

Derek spit up more blood.

"You can't die, you know that right? Stiles has lost too many people he cares about. He was so mad when we brought you here. I told him it was okay to care about you but, he didn't want to. I was wrong for making you leave. I just have a lot of issues with people stabbing us in the back or using us or whatever it may be. I didn't want Stiles to get hurt and I knows he really cares for you...I know it's no excuse but..." Dean sighed.

"Why did you go with him? Why did you help him, you risked your life for him." Dean looked fondly at the beaten angel.

"Because you all have become...like family to me." Derek answered weakly. 

"Even after what I did?" Dean frowned. 

"I would have done...the same thing. I have trust issues too...remember?" Derek gave a small smile.

"You trusted us. You helped Cas even after the way I treated you. You risked your life for Cas and Stiles. You take care of Stiles better than I do." Dean snorted slightly.

"We're not like family, we are family, and I hope you can forgive me." Dean frowned looking at Derek.

Derek only nodded. 

Just then, Cas stirred awake.

"Cas." Dean rushed to the angels side as he struggled to stand.

"Dean?" Cas frowned before tipping forward slightly.

"Whoa, hey, let's sit down." Dean said catching Cas and guiding him back down.

"Dean, where's Gabriel and Derek?" Cas asked very seriously.

"Derek's right here." Dean said nodding towards the bed next to them. 

"And Gabriel?" Cas asked looking around as if the angel might be close by.

"Derek said you were ambushed and they had Gabriel." Dean said not wanting to have to tell Cas that they had his brother.

"Yes, they caught Gabriel in holy fire and they had him in enochian chains. They also took my grace." Cas nodded with a frown as he remembered the events that took place the night before.

"Naomi has them both." Dean said waiting for Cas' reaction.

"They think they can get me to trade Stiles in for them." Cas huffed as he examined himself.

"Are you okay? You're cut up pretty bad and you weren't waking up, scared me to death." Dean inspected Cas for any obvious wounds he may have missed before.

"I am weak and sore." Cas answered honestly. His eyes landed on Derek then.

"Derek." Cas stood abruptly almost falling over in the process. 

"Hey, whoa there." Dean helped support Cas.

"Is he okay?" Cas reached for Derek who was now asleep.

"I'm not sure." Dean shook his head.

"Dean, he's gravely injured. Even with almost no grace left I can feel him slipping." Cas spoke worriedly looking at the hunter. 

"What? No no, no." Dean grabbed Derek's shoulders shaking him.

"Derek, wake up. Derek, come on, please you can't die, don't leave Stiles. You promised." Dean clenched his eyes shut holding back angry tears.

At that moment Stiles walked in with Sam. 

"Cas." The brothers chorused, relieved to see the angel awake.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked noticing the look on Cas' face as well as the tears sliding down Dean's cheeks.

Dean looked up, his green eyes glistening with tears.

"Stiles, I'm so sorry." Dean cried.

"What? Why?" Stiles rushed to the bed pushing Dean out of the way so he could see Derek.

"Derek!" Stiles cried as Dean grabbed him pulling him back and close to his chest.

"Stiles, there's nothing we can do." Cas spoke sadly looking at the broken hunter fighting his brother's grasp.

"No, Derek, you promised." Stiles yelled. "You can't leave me again." Tears streamed down Stiles cheeks.

"You promised." Stiles whispered as he crumpled in Dean's arms.


	41. Bait

"Stiles. Stiles. Look at me." Dean lifted Stiles' chin. They were both currently on the floor next to Derek's bed. Stiles was still wrapped awkwardly in Dean's arms.

"It's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay." Dean looked into Stiles' tear filled eyes. It broke his heart, to his brother like this.

"No, this is my fault. I should have let him leave." Stiles shook his head.

"Dean, if I had my grace I could heal him. He's got two, maybe three, hours left." Cas spoke, leaned against the side of Derek's bed.

"Okay, how do we get it?" Dean asked looking up at the angel.

"Naomi, said she wants Stiles in exchange for my grace and Gabriel. Maybe I can arrange a meeting. Let her think I'm gonna take the deal." Cas spoke thoughtfully. 

"They're not going to believe you'd do that." Dean shook his head. Cas was completely loyal to the Winchesters, they knew it, the angels knew it, hell Lucifer himself knew it.

"So we make them believe it." Sam piped in.

"How?" Cas frowned at the middle brother.

"Take Stiles. Act like you're betraying us. Tell them you need your grace or you'll die." 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we are not offering Stiles up as bait." Dean said pulling away from the youngest hunter.

"I'll do it." Stiles stood.

"No, you won't." Dean snapped standing as well.

"What other choice do we have? We'll trap them." Sam shrugged.

"Do you hear yourself right now, Sam? You are talking about offering up our little brother, as bait, to save a damn werewolf." Dean scoffed.

"It's not just saving a damn werewolf, it's saving Derek's life. And getting Cas' grace back. And even saving Gabriel." Sam explained.

"So that's what this is about? You're worried about your little angel boyfriend?" Dean mocked in irritation.

"Aren't you worried about yours?" Sam shot back. 

Dean grit his teeth.

Stiles reached out touching his brother's shoulder. 

"Dean, please, I can't lose him, not like this." Stiles' tone was sad and pleading. 

"Son of a bitch." Dean swore. He turned to Cas.

"You promise me, that nothing will happen to Stiles." Dean spoke seriously.

Cad nodded. "You know I would die for him." 

"Don't do that either." Dean added just as seriously.

"Cas, you get in touch with Naomi. I'll call a few of the local hunters in town, see if we can get some backup. 

"Who's gonna stay here with Derek?" Stiles asked with a frown.

Dean and Sam turned to each other.

"Don't look at me." Dean shook his head. 

"I'll stay." Sam sighed.

"Thank you." Stiles gave a small smile.

-

Dean put the cuffs on Stiles. "You remember how to slip these?" 

"Yep." Stiles nodded. 

Dean grabbed a bandana, pausing before he gagged Stiles with it.  
"You're sure about this?"

Stiles huffed. "Yes Dean, we're wasting time." 

Dean set his jaw as he tied the bandana. 

"Cas, I'm leaving him in your hands. I trust you, don't get my little brother killed." Dean spoke as he walked towards the angel.

"Of course, Dean." Cas nodded.

"Are you sure you're up for this? Two hour ago you were unconscious in my arms." Dean was now in front of Cas.

"I'm fine. Once I get my Grace, I'll be even better." Cas answered with a nod.

Dean and Cas stood there neither of them moving.

"Okay, Garth and Eileen are gonna meet you there, Dean." Sam said walking into the garage.

"Alright, let's do this." Dean said breaking eye contact with Cas.

"Hey, Dean." Sam called.

Dean turned. 

"Don't get dead." 

"Go tell that to Derek." Dean smirked as he climbed into the impala.

-

Stiles shifted uncomfortably as they arrived at the shipyard. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit nervous. Usually when he was bait, he wasn't tied and gagged. It made for an unsettling situation.

"Okay, Stiles, remember, I don't mean anything I say and I will try not to be too rough but it has to be believable." Cas said looking into the rear view mirror.

Stiles gave a curt nod. He'd do whatever he had to to save Derek, just like he always did.

"Castiel, well, well, I didn't expect you to show." Naomi's voice spoke as she emerged from the shadows.

"I almost didn't." Cas said as he opened the door pulling Stiles out by his arm.

Stiles thrashed against Cas.

"I'm sorry, Stiles, but you have to understand." Cas said as he pulled Stiles towards the angel.

"I never thought I'd see the day when Castiel would betray the Winchesters." 

"I know that they will save him. In the end. Lucifer needs to stay locked up and if Stiles is the key to killing Ramiel..." Cas paused.

"Promise me he won't die." Cas spoke as he looked at Stiles with a sympathetic look who only glared back.

"Not by my hands." Naomi shook her head. 

"Now how about that trade?" Naomi snapped her fingers and another angel stepped forward pulling Gabriel after him.

Stiles started to struggle and attempted to yell at Cas, but it was muffled by the gag.

"I'm sorry Stiles, I truly am." Cas sighed.

"Before I give you Stiles, I want my Grace, then you can have him and then you give me Gabriel. Deal?" Cas said pulling Stiles to get him to stop struggling. 

"How do I know you won't just take your Grace and Stiles and leave?" Naomi narrowed her eyes.

"You know how weak I am. And I wouldn't leave my brother." Cas looked at Gabriel who remained silent.

"Hasn't stopped you in the past." The angel next to Gabriel sneered.

"Are we doing this or not? Sam and Dean are going to realize Stiles is missing." Cas huffed.

He was supposed to get his Grace before the hunters attacked.

"Very well." Naomi snapped again, and  another angel appeared. 

Cas pulled Stiles as he walked towards  the angel who had pulled his Grace from his pocket.

Stiles yelled louder and fought harder but his yells were still muffled and Cas held him firmly.

Cas took hold of the bottle as he let go of Stiles.

Stiles fought against the new angel even more roughly than he did with Cas but it was no use.

"Release Gabriel." Naomi ordered as he pulled Stiles to her.

"Stiles Winchester." Naomi grinned as she pulled the bandana off.

"Is there anything that you would like to say to your dear friend Castiel?" 

Stiles looked at Cas with an intense glare. He waited until he was sure the cuffs were off of Gabriel before he spoke. 

"Angels are dicks." He spat as he swiftly slipped his own cuffs and elbowed Naomi in the face, causing her to release him.

At that moment Dean, Garth and Eileen rushed out of nowhere their angel blades ready. 

Gabriel rushed towards Cas. "Are you crazy?" He snapped as he helped Cas open the bottle. 

Stiles rushed to Cas and Gabriel. "Is he okay?" 

"Yeah, it just needs a minute to settle." Gabriel nodded.

"Okay, well my job is to get you two out of here so climb in." Stiles said tossing a glance at Dean.

"Go!" Dean yelled as he dodged a strike from Naomi. 

Stiles hesitated for a split second before jumping into the drivers seat of Cas' car. He had to trust Dean could handle himself, and he needed to get back to Derek.


	42. Emotions

Stiles sat nervously as he waited for Cas to finish with Derek. There was a slim chance Derek was too far gone. 

He glanced up at Sam who was looking through one of the men of letters archives as he ignored Gabriel.

"It wouldn't have been so bad but the food was awful. So needless to say Cuba wasn't my thing. Speaking of food, you know any good restaurants around here? I'm not familiar with the are. I was-"

"I'm not going out with you." Sam said blatantly, not looking up from the pages. 

"Oh, come on, Sam. How many times do I have to apologize for killing Dean? It wasn't real, obviously. I was trying to get you to back off my trail." Gabriel whined leaning forward in his seat.

"Consider us backed off." Sam responded still not looking up.

"But now you got me hooked." Gabriel pouted earning a scoff from the hunter.

"Sam, look at me." Gabriel lifted Sam's chin.

"I truly am sorry. And I never intended to find you so...mesmerizing." Gabriel looked into Sam's eyes with a softness.

"Right." Sam said simply as he stood up taking the archives back to the library. 

"Did Castiel have this much trouble with Dean?" Gabriel asked glancing at Stiles. 

"Hey, look, I know you're worried about Devin-"

"Derek." Stiles corrected.

"Derek, right, that's what I meant." Gabriel lied walking over and taking a seat next to the youngest Winchester.

"Anyway, I know you're worried, but Cassie knows what he's doing. He's always been the gentle one." Gabriel patted Stiles' back.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Pretending you care about me, isn't going to win Sam over." 

Before Gabriel could respond Cas opened the door. Stiles jumped to his feet.

"Is he okay?" Stiles asked nervously.

Cas nodded. "He's stable. I had to be careful cause my power wanted to close his wounds with the wolfsbane still inside. I did my best to draw out as much as I could. I also jumpstarted his healing so he should wake up soon." 

Stiles let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He gently pushed the door open. Laying in a peaceful sleep was a blood covered  Derek.

Stiles went to Derek's side and sat on the side of the bed. Grabbing a nearby washcloth, Stiles gently wiped the blood off with the rubbing alcohol he'd gotten earlier.

"I'm so sorry Derek. I promise I'll never let this happen again." Stiles spoke quietly. Once Stiles had cleaned the blood from Derek's face, he gently lifted Derek's shirt over his head. He wiped the still healing wounds and his cut up arms. Satisfied that he had gotten all the blood off he grabbed a spare undershirt that he kept in one of the drawers. He gently put it on Derek who showed no signs of waking up. It was a bit tight, as he was still bigger than Stiles. 

-

Dean walked in with Eileen and Garth. "Hey, Cas, how you feeling?" Dean asked making a beeline for his favorite angel. 

"Like...me." Cas smiled earning a large grin from Dean.

"Where's Stiles?" Dean asked looking around. 

"Don't tell me it didn't work." Dean looked at Sam with a worried expression. 

"I did as much as I could. He's stable but he'll have to heal the rest of the way. He should be up any time now." Cas answered.

Dean let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks Man."

-

"Stiles?" Derek's voice caused Stiles to shoot up. He had been sitting in a chair with his head down in his arms, leaning on Derek's bed.

"Derek." Stiles let out a relieved sigh.

"Are you okay?" Derek looked at Stiles with concerned eyes.

"Forget me, are you okay?" Stiles asked looking at Derek's arms to see his wounds healed.

"I'm-" Derek suddenly looked down.

"Wait, what happened?" Derek frowned.

"I almost lost you. Cas was able to heal you once we got his Grace." Stiles answered.

"Naomi took it. How did you get it back?" Derek blinked as he looked himself over to see all his wounds healed.

"Ambush. All went well, no one got hurt. Well the angels did." Stiles grinned. He thought it better to leave out the details of him being bait.

"I umm got your shirt off and cleaned up most of the blood, and I put you in one of my shirts but, it's a little tight." Stiles said glancing down at Derek's well toned chest peeking out of the wife beater Stiles had clothed him with.

Derek looked at Stiles fondly. "Thank you, Stiles." 

Stiles reached for Derek's hand causing Derek's eyes to drop to where they were now intertwined. 

"I'm so sorry this happened." Stiles ran his thumb absentmindedly along Derek's. 

"It's not your fault." Derek shook his head. He hated the idea that Stiles was blaming himself.

Derek sat up causing Stiles to drop his hand. Derek had to hold back a whine from the loss of contact. Man, his wolf needed to get it together. Derek hadn't whined since he was thirteen or so. 

"Stiles, look at me." Derek reached forward lifting his chin gently. 

Derek felt a sudden ache in his chest at the hurt in Stiles' eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Derek could sense something was off.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're okay." Stiles faked a smile but Derek saw through it. 

"Stiles." Derek said his name in a tone that told him he knew he was lying.

"I hear Dean so that must mean he and Cas are back. Come on." Stiles reached to help Derek stand, though he didn't need it. 

When Stiles went to pull away Derek pulled him back gently still holding on to the hunter's hand. They were now face to face. 

Derek could smell the sadness that Stiles felt. He glanced down at Stiles' lips wanting so badly to kiss them. His wolf was aching to hold Stiles until the sadness went away. 

The two stared at each other in silence. Stiles knew Derek was waiting for a better explanation but he wasn't going to get one. 

Derek squeezed Stiles' hand gently hoping to coax something from the silent Winchester.

Stiles dropped his eyes briefly before throwing himself into Derek wrapping him in a hug. 

Derek hugged back, burying his face in Stiles neck. He breathed in deep, allowing the scent to calm his wolf. 

When Stiles pulled back Derek had to, once again, hold back a whine. He needed to get control of himself. Stiles can't be a trigger and his anchor it was going to drive Derek insane.

 

-

Dean sat in the kitchen trying to keep himself together. After the incident with Cas and Derek almost getting killed it made him want to be around and touch Cas constantly. He knew he couldn't though, they weren't together and Cas was back to his full powered angel self. He could never love someone like Dean. Oh but he wished he would. 

"Dean." Derek's voice spoke up causing Dean to look up quickly. 

"Hey, you're looking better." Dean gave Derek a smile.

"Yeah, Cas got me all fixed up." Derek nodded.

"Is something wrong?" Dean asked sensing Derek's hesitation.

"Umm, I just wanted to say thank you. You could have thrown me out but you didn't." Derek said running a hand along the back of his neck.

"Stiles would have literally murdered me. We have a weapons room full of weapons and he's very skilled with every one of them." Dean joked lightly  as he gestured to the seat across from him.

Derek took a seat. He still looked uncomfortable.

"I get the feeling there's another reason you came on here." Dean looked up from the beer bottle in his hand.

"Well, I uh, it's not really my place but I noticed you're yearning." Derek said furrowing his brows.

"I'm sorry did you say yearning?" Dean cocked his head slightly.

"I umm..." Derek cleared his throat.  
"I can smell chemosignals. I can tell what emotion someone is feeling." Derek explained cautiously.

"You can smell emotions?" Dean frowned.

"Yeah. I umm, it's pretty strong. It was overbearing everyone else's scent in there. I wanted to come see...how were holding up." Derek cleared his throat again.

"Can you smell Cas' emotions?" Dean asked glancing at the door to the main room. 

"He smells happy. Sam is relieved and slightly annoyed. Gabriel is determined. The other two hunters are also happy. And Stiles..." Derek trailed off letting out a frustrated sigh.

"And Stiles what?" Dean urged Derek to continue.

"He's sad. But he won't tell me why. I asked and he said he was just relieved I was okay. But I knew he was lying. And knows I can tell when he's lying. I tried again but he won't talk." Derek forced his wolf to stay down. 

"How can you tell when he's lying?" Dean frowned.

"Perks of being a werewolf. I have super good hearing, which means I can hear when someone's heart skips or stutters during a lie." Derek explained.

"Really?" Dean looked intrigued.

"So if I told you that Stiles throat punched me before our dad died would I be lying?"

Derek chuckled. "No." 

"And if I told you I was jealous of Sam, would I be lying?" 

"Yes." Derek nodded with a smirk.

"Hmmm." Dean looked thoughtful.

"Can I ask you something?" Derek lifted brow.

"Lay it on me." Dean agreed. 

"Do you think Stiles would ever return my feelings for him?" 

Dean sat back in surprise. "Wow, your asking the hard questions." 

Derek didn't respond.

"I think he...I know he cares about you and he would never want to see you hurt. Do I think he's in love with you, I have no idea." Dean shrugged.

"That's not what I asked." Derek raised his brows at the oldest Winchester. 

"I don't think so, no." Dean answered.

Derek frowned. "You're lying."

Dean chuckled. "You are good. Yes I do think he would. However, I don't think he'd act on them." 

Derek nodded. "Yeah, I guess it would throw off the whole Winchester reputation if one of them was with a Werewolf." 

"That's not it." Dean shifted slightly.  
"He was furious with himself for making you stay. He thinks you wouldn't have been hurt if he'd let you leave." 

Derek dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Hey, there you two are, and getting along I see." Stiles said suddenly appearing at the door.

"We're all about to do a celebratory shot, come on." Stiles motioned for Derek and Dean to follow.

As the shots got passed around and everyone held theirs up, Stiles watched everyone smiling and wished it could be like that all the time. He enjoyed hunting, it was he life, but sometimes he wished it didn't hurt so bad. He looked to Derek who actually had a smile on his face. It broke Stiles heart to think he would never see it again. As if hearing him Derek turned to Stiles suddenly with a concerned look. Stiles gave a small smile, before looking down at his shot glass. He forced the tears back as Sam gave a short toast. 

"To family." 

Family. That's what Stiles feared most, to lose his family.


	43. Longing

*Smut ahead*

Dean layed on his bed staring at the ceiling. Everyone had gone to bed a few hours ago. It had been nice spending time with everyone after a rough few days but he still felt empty. He and Cas had been distant with each other and it was wearing on Dean, especially after almost losing him. Dean wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him how important he was. Closing his eyes he swore under his breath.

"Damnit Cas "

Dean sat up and was about to actually get into bed when he heard a knock at his door. 

Dean opened it and felt his heart lurch. Derek would have been able to hear that.

"C-Cas, what's wrong?" The angel looked upset.

"Are you upset with me, Dean?" Cas asked, worry dripping from his tone.

"No, of course not Cas. Why would you think that?" Dean frowned.

"Well, I've felt almost like you were wanting to tell me something all night. I could sense something. Then a moment ago you swore at me, but your voice was filled with longing." Cas had his head tilted in the way that Dean thought was adorable.

"I uh, I just missed you and I'm glad you're okay." Dean nodded slightly. 

"Something is wrong. You're longing again. I'm right here Dean." Cas stepped forward placing a hand on Dean's cheek.

Dean tensed. 

"You can tell me anything." Cas rubbed his thumb along Dean's cheekbone.

Dean grabbed Cas' wrist. "Cas." 

Cas paused. 

Dean looked into the angel's bright blue eyes before allowing his eyes to fall to Cas' full lips. 

Dean suddenly pulled Cas to him, causing thier chests to touch, before gripping the back of Cas' neck and pressing their lips together.

Dean melted into the kiss as Cas grabbed Dean's hips.

Dean felt his heart race as Cas' lips parted. Their tongues touched causing  Cas to pull Dean's hips to his. Dean moaned at the contact. This was better than any dream he'd ever had. Cas tasted like heaven, no pun intended. 

Dean felt Cas slide his hands from Dean's hips up his sides under his shirt. Dean melted again into Cas. 

Cas pulled back suddenly. 

"Dean." Cas panted licking his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have-"

"Do not apologize for that." Cas growled, causing Dean to bite his lip.

"You just...have an effect on me." Cas said his voice gentle now.

"Effect how?" Dean asked.

Cas glanced down for a second.

That's when Dean noticed the tent Cas had pitched in his sweatpants.

Dean unintentionally let out a moan.

Cas tilted his head. Dean was longing again. 

"Dean, are you-are you longing for me physically?" Cas asked.

Dean bit his bottom lip. "I'm longing for you in every way, Cas. Damn it, you have no idea." 

Cas stepped forward. Dean swallowed hard but didn't move. 

"You truly want this?" Cas asked brushing his thumb gently along Dean's bottom lip. 

"More than anything but, I know you've never..." Dean trailed off dropping his eyes unable to look at Cas.

"But I have with April and then there was the cute guy at the bar just before that." Cas objected.

Dean's head jerked up. "You didn't tell me about any guy at some bar." His voice laced with jealousy. 

"You didn't tell me about Benny." Cas shrugged.

"Touché." Dean gave a nod.

"So I'm gonna ask you again, Dean, do you truly want this?" Cas asked stepping towards Dean, his eyes already filled with lust. 

Dean bit his lip and nodded. The way Cas was looking at him had Dean hard as a rock. 

Cas stepped forward sliding Dean's shirt gently over his shoulders. He then allowed his hands to slide down Dean's sides and to the waistband of his sweats. 

"I'm giving you one more chance to back out, if you don't take it, you're mine, got it?" Cas asked. He could sense Dean's longing grow as Cas spoke. 

Dean nodded, panting slightly. He loved Cas being so dominant. 

"Now, you do you truly want this?" Cas asked one more time. His voice was gentle but his eyes were fierce.

Once again Dean only nodded.

Cas gave a small smile as he wrapped his arm around Dean's waist and pulled him close. Dean gasped slightly.

Cas' other hand snaked it's way down the hunters side and hip and around to his ass. 

He lifted Dean allowing Dean to wrap his legs around his own waist. He laid Dean back on the bed crawling gently over him.

"C-Cas." Dean's voice came out as a squeak as Cas' erection rubbed along his own.

"Shhh." Cas whispered in Dean's ear as he placed a few kisses along Dean's neck. 

Dean tugged at Cas' shirt. 

Cas pulled back enough to pull the t- shirt over his head, but he didn't stop there he pulled down Dean's pants revealing his full hard on. 

Dean bit his bottom lip as Cas took his down as well. 

The angel ran his hand along Dean's thigh earning another squeak from the hunter. 

Cas gently gripped Dean earning a gasp. He slid his hand up and down a few times before placing his mouth around the hunter, earning a satisfied moan.

Dean felt himself grip the sheet as Cas worked his tongue up and down and around. Fuck he was good at this. Dean bucked his hips slightly, but that caused Cas to grip his hips and roughly press them back into the mattress. Another moan erupted at the roughness. Dean was loving it.  
He let out a small whine as Cas pulled away. 

Cas crawled up to Dean pressing thier lips together. The kiss was rough and heated. Dean moaned into Cas' mouth causing him to squeeze Dean's thigh, which Dean loved. 

"Cas, please " Dean begged. He was tired of waiting. 

"So eager." Cas grinned running his lips gently along Dean's jaw.

"I'm not gonna prep you the normal way, okay?" Cas said his lips ghosting Dean's ear. It sent shivers down his spine. His cock throbbed as he leaked. 

"Dean." Cas moaned at the sight. 

"Cas, please, I need you in me, now." Dean begged. He didn't care if he was rushing it, he'd wanted this for too long to wait ant longer. 

Cas didn't answer as he lined himself up, with Dean's legs spread wide. 

He slowly pushed in. Dean clenched his eyes at the stinging pain. 

"Shhh, I've got you, Dean." Cas rubbed his hand along Dean's thigh as he pressed all the way in. 

Dean immediately relaxed, the pain disappearing. 

Cas held himself still and bent over placing a gentle kiss on Dean's lips. "Are you okay?" 

Dean nodded trying to wiggle for friction but Cas kept him still. 

"Cassss." Dean whined. Cas still didn't move. Instead he licked inside Dean's mouth. When Cas was sure Dean was good and distracted by the kiss he pulled his hips back before slamming back into him.

"Fuck." Dean moaned separating their lips.

Cas grinned as he did it again. He loved the look of Dean under him. Being a human had introduced him to lust and he'd imagined what it would be like to have Dean under him. April was good, and Adam, the guy at the bar was great, but Dean, Dean was amazing. He'd never understood why he thought about Dean like that until Derek had explained to him that what he felt towards Dean was love. 

Dean rocked his hips a bit causing Cas to once again slam them into the mattress. 

"Oh, god." Dean hummed.

"Let's leave him out of this please." Cas panted.

"Oh right, sorry." Dean chuckled a bit.  
He grabbed at the sheets and threw his head back as Cas angled slightly differently.

"Oh fuck." Dean yelped, Cas had hit the exact spot. Cas hit it again and then circled his hips being sure to keep himself pressed against that spot.

"Oh, yes, Cas, yes." Dean moaned arching his back. 

"Look at me." Cas ordered. 

Dean opened his eyes and met Cas' blue ones. 

"You're beautiful." Cas said running a hand along Dean's cheek. 

Dean felt his stomach flip, which caused him to feel the familiar pooling in the bottom of his stomach.

"Fuck, Cas, please, don't stop." Dean whined as he felt his orgasm build. 

"Let it go, Dean, for me." Cas whispered in Dean's ear. 

That was it. He clenched around Cas as his untouched dick spurted white liquid over their chests and stomachs. 

"Oh, Dean." Cas gripped the bed on either side of Dean's head. 

"Dean, Dean, Dean." Cas chanted as he spilled into Dean. 

Cas rolled off of Dean panting.

"Cas, I have to ask, where did you learn all that? That was fucking amazing." 

Cas grinned. "You let me use your computer. I came across your porn stash and decided to find out what you were into, so that when I finally got my hands on you, you couldn't be disappointed." 

Dean lifted slightly looking at Cas. "When you finally got your hands on me?" 

"I was human so I couldn't sense your longing. But I felt myself thinking about...you...all of you and then Derek helped me realize that the feelings I had towards you was love. And not in a Sam and Stiles way. But in an, I'm in love with you, type of way." Cas explained.

"You're in love with me?" Dean couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Derek and I discussed it thoroughly last night." Cas nodded matter of factly. 

Dean couldn't help but smile. He placed a kiss on Cas' lips. "I'm in love with you too, Cas." 

Cas smiled as he caressed Dean's cheek. 

"Remind me to thank Derek." Dean grinned.

"Was it the way you wanted it?" Cas asked looking at Dean seriously.

"Are you kidding me? It was better than, well anyone or anything I could have imagined." Dean scoffed. 

"I'm glad." Cas smiled at the hunter.

"But you totally cheated." Dean chuckled placing another kiss to Cas' perfect lips before going into the bathroom to clean up.


	44. Overwhelmed

Derek laid in bed his hands behind his head. His eyes were closed and he was listening to the steady rhythm of Stiles' heartbeat. It had been difficult keeping his distance from the hunter but he could tell Stiles needed space. His wolf however, wasn't as cooperative. Every once in a while Derek would find some reason to touch Stiles, even if only for a moment. He'd lay his hand gently on the small of his back as he slipped behind him. He would pat Stiles' shoulder when ever a story about him would come up. There was a brief moment when Garth had asked about the box. Stiles had tensed. Derek instinctively reached for his leg giving a gentle squeeze. It had relaxed Stiles some. His wolf refused to let Stiles go until the conversation had changed topics. As soon as it had Stiles got up to go to the bathroom causing Derek to release him. 

When everyone was going to bed Stiles said a simple goodnight and slipped into his room. 

At one point Derek heard Stiles' shower and small sobs. His wolf was going insane. He had to block everything out in order to get himself under control. When he heard Stiles come out of the shower he had knocked on Stiles' door to check on him.

Stiles had insisted that he was fine and he was just overwhelmed by the past few days. He hadn't been lying but Derek knew that wasn't the whole truth but he didn't push it. 

Now Derek was using Stiles' heartbeat as his own personal lulliby. It was soothing and it anchored his wolf. It was strange having Stiles be his anchor and a trigger. Anger had always been his anchor but now, that didn't do anything. Stiles was the only thing that could calm him, which made it difficult when, he was also the one that caused him to lose control. 

-

Stiles leaned his hand against the shower wall, letting the hot water fall over him. He couldn't help the tears that started to mix with the shower droplets. 

 

These past few weeks had been stressful and he was at his limit. He held himself together long enough to get make sure Derek was safe. He had been so close to losing the alpha and the reality of it came crashing over him. He understood now, why Dean kept everyone at a distance. The more people they cared for the more people they lost and the more they hurt. Cas was the only one left, him being an angel was the only thing that guaranteed his safety and even that wasn't enough, in their line of work. 

Stiles cried until he was sure he didn't have the energy to cry anymore. He got out and threw on his clothes. As he was about to lie down there was a knock on his door.

He opened it to see Derek looking stressed.

"Are you okay?" Derek reached for Stiles jaw. 

Stiles sighed. Of course Derek heard him crying, he had super hearing. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, just overwhelmed. It's been a long few days." Stiles answered. It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. Derek dropped his hand. He looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind. Instead he gave a simple nod. 

"Good night, stiles." Derek said his voice almost sad. 

"Good night." Stiles responded before closing the door. He felt his frustration rise as he climbed into bed. He never should have made Derek stay.

-

Derek walked into the main room where Dean, Sam, and Cas were sitting.

"Hey Derek." Dean tossed a smile at the werewolf. 

"Hey, De-" He stopped short and raised his brows at Dean. 

 

"What's wrong?" Sam asked noticing Derek's pause.

Derek smirked at Dean, who looked confused.

"You look like you slept well." Derek grinned taking a seat next to Sam.

Dean froze. "Seriously?" Dean threw his hands up. 

"What's wrong, Dean?" Cas looked concerned. 

Derek chuckled.

"What all little werewolf powers do you have?" Dean huffed not answering Cas.

"Super smell, super strength, super hearing, super vision, basically he's superman." Stiles  answered walking in with a coffee in one hand, an archive book in the other, with a pencil tucked behind each ear. 

"I'll say." Dean huffed. 

"Wait, super hearing?" Dean asked nervously.

"I can tune things out, don't worry." Derek gave a reassuring smile. 

Dean relaxed, but only slightly. 

"What'd you find?" Sam asked Stiles.

"I found a weapon that can kill a prince of hell." Stiles stated with a frown.

"Then why the frown?" Sam asked. 

"It hasn't been seen since the fall of man. Naomi had mentioned it to me but I had to do some digging. The lance of Michael." Stiles explained.

"Yes, the angels have been in search of it for many a millennia." Cas nodded.

"Well according to the men of letters one of thier men found it. He was able to call them long enough to tell them it did exist and it was near. Before he could tell then where, the line went dead and he was never seen or heard from again." Stiles spoke sitting down next to Derek.

"Why is it whenever you find something useful, you always follow it up with bad news?" Dean huffed. 

"I'm sorry, would you like to share with the table, what you found?" Stiles asked in a condescending tone.

 

Dean only glared at his youngest brother.

"That's what I thought." Stiles quipped before turning back to the book of archives. 

"So they never found the lance but they also never checked where he had gone. So I found out his name was Nathaniel. Now there are three different Nathaniel's listed. Nathaniel, Baker, Nathaniel Sutton, and Nathaniel Parrish. So I checked the past archives to see where they were sent."

Stiles flipped a few pages.

"There were twelve men sent out that day. Vaughn, Hugo, Mendel, etcetera. Baker, Sutton and Parrish were among those twelve. Now they never say which Nathaniel never came back so I did some more digging. Baker and Sutton were sent out on future missions but there is no records of Parrish after that day. So I had to find where he had been sent. Well there are four places he had to hit on his mission. Colorado, there is supposedly a tomb of Michael there. Washington, again supposedly a tomb of Michael. Virginia, where Dagon is said to reside and then Minnesota where Ramiel is said to reside." Stiles explained all that he had discovered.

"I thought Ramiel's house was in Montana?" Dean frowned.

"It is, but he also has an unknown house. Apparently it was believed that Ramiel kept a barn of weapons and ancient relics." Stiles answered.

Derek smiled at Stiles fondly. He truly was amazing. He approached things in a way no one else did. Derek felt his wolf itching to reach out to Stiles. 

"This is huge, Stiles, we have a lead. That's more than we've had in a while." Sam grinned as he pulled the book to himself.

"Is there anything you can't do?" Derek asked placing a hand on Stiles shoulder and giving an affectionate squeeze. 

Stiles didn't respond. He only gave a small smile. 

-

After several hours of them all searching through the archives, Cas and Sam went to get lunch.

Stiles bit his lip as Derek stood up. "Der, wait." Stiles jumped up after him.

Derek stopped. He turned to Stiles, who smelled of nerves and misery.

"We need...to talk." Stiles shifted slightly. 

"About?" Derek frowned.

"I think...I think you were right. It's probably best that you leave." Stiles' voice was quiet, but he knew Derek heard him, clear as day.

Derek felt his heart drop. He looked at Stiles for any sign of doubt. There was none. Derek forced his tone to be even despite the hurt he felt.

"What changed your mind?" 

 

"Almost losing you. This was so much worse than any other time. You were minutes away. Cas barely managed to save you." Stiles got choked up just talking about it. 

Derek walked towards Stiles. He reached for his chin but Stiles pulled away.

"Don't." Stiles begged gently.

Derek felt his eyes turn at the rejection. 

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I was selfish. I just wanted to be near you. You were someone I knew I could fall back on. But I almost got you killed, twice. I can't do it anymore. I know now why you left that first night. I would rather know you're safe, than have you here and risk losing you." Stiles wiped a stray tear that had escaped his regretful eyes.

"Stiles, I don't know if I can leave you." Derek spoke honestly. 

"I know it's stupid of me, but I-I need you. You're all I have left. I always swore I'd never depend on anyone or let anyone too close, but somehow, you weasled your way in." Derek tried again to reach for Stiles, but again, Stiles pulled away.

"Der, please don't make this any harder than it has to be." Stiles begged. 

Derek fought to keep his wolf at bay but between Stiles' rejection and the misery rolling off of the hunter, Derek was struggling.

"Stiles, are you serious?" Dean asked walking into the room.

"It's fine, Dean." Derek turned his head slightly towards Dean.

"No, it's not. Stiles, he's family now." Dean snapped.

"That's why he can't stay. We're poison, Dean, you know this." Stiles shouted.

"The only reason Cas is still around, barely, is because he's a literal angel. I almost lost Derek yesterday and I couldn't live with myself knowing that it was because of me. Dean, you of all people should understand." Stiles' voice was still raised.

"I do understand, and I also understand that they know he's important to us, so once we let someone in, that's it, they can't go anywhere." Dean shouted back.

"So what I just have be okay with putting his life at risk?" Stiles scoffed angrily.

"We'll do everything we can to protect him." Dean huffed in response. 

"Like we protected Jess, or Sarah, or Ellen, Ash, Jo, Rufus, Bobby, Charlie, Kevin-"

"I get your point Stiles." Dean snapped. Sam always said watching Dean fight with Stiles was like watching Dean fight with himself. In this moment he saw why.

"I can't lose him, Dean, I can't do it anymore." Stiles broke finally. Tears poured down his cheeks. He went to drop to the floor in a heap of tears but Derek caught him pulling him into him as he sat down on the floor.

"Shhh, I've got you." Derek ran his hand along Stiles' back as he burried his face into Derek's chest. He held him tightly as the sobs poured onto Derek's shirt.

Dean knelt next the Derek. "Stiles, forgot to mention you had super speed." 

Derek gave Dean a slight smirk.

"Stiles, listen to me, everyone you mentioned was either a hunter or someone we didn't know needed protection. In this life, we're not guaranteed to make it to tomorrow. Have we made some mistakes? Of course. Derek, has proven he can hold his own. He saved Cas from Naomi. He saved you from Naomi. You saved him from Ramiel's guys. You used yourself as bait to get Cas' grace to save him." Dean spoke gently.

Derek growled disapprovingly. Stiles had left that detail out.

"Derek, how many times did you two save each other back in Beacon Hills ?" Dean asked

"Several." Derek answered. 

"See Stiles, even if you hadn't been there, Derek still would have been in trouble. Anyone in the know of the supernatural are risking their lives every day. I know you don't want him to leave. You say you don't want to care about him, but you do. Saying you don't, doesn't make it true." Dean spoke gently.

Stiles pulled back from Derek's chest. "I don't know what this weird connection is between us. Maybe it's some weird wolf thing because you're an alpha and I accepted you, I don't know but that also makes it so much more painful when you're hurt." Stiles spoke looking into Derek's pale green eyes. 

Derek wiped a tear from Stiles' cheek. "I know, I feel it too." Derek's voice was gentle. 

"Derek, you said you can smell emotions and stuff. Can you smell, love?" Dean gestured his eyes to Stiles.

"I can, but I can't always differentiate romantic love with familial love." Derek answered with a slight glare.

"Then how did you know Cas loved me?" 

"You know?" Stiles asked snapping his head towards Dean. 

"He was aroused by you, and got jealous when you talked about you and Crowley. Then we talked about it and he realized why he felt differently towards you." Derek explained.

"Well, thank you, for talking to him." Dean smiled shyly. 

"Glad I could help." Derek gave a knowing nod.

"Wait, I'm confused. You and Cas?" Stiles asked.

"What about us?" Dean frowned standing. At that moment the door opened and Sam and Cas walked in with lunch.

Derek helped Stiles up. "Hey, I'm sorry for causing you to worry." 

Stiles' eyes were still glossy from his tears. "I'm sorry, I was gonna make you leave."

Derek smiled warmly at the youngest Winchester. "I couldn't leave anyway, I promised "


	45. Regret

It was late, but Stiles needed to be near Derek, he didn't know why but it was like an aching in the pit of his stomach. He gently knocked on Derek's door. 

"Hey, Der, you awake?" Stiles spoke quietly, but he knew Derek would be able to hear him.

"Yeah." Derek's voice answered.

Stiles stepped through the door closing it behind him. Derek sat up urgently. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Derek asked sensing Stiles' discomfort. 

"Umm, well, I..." Stiles didn't really know what to say. He couldn't tell Derek he craved to be near him, but he did. 

"Stiles, what is it?" Derek stood from his bed and took a few steps towards Stiles.

"Nothing, nevermind." Stiles shook his head. 

"Stiles." Derek caught his wrist as he turned to leave.

Stiles looked at Derek. Neither one spoke. Derek was waiting for Stiles to explain and Stiles was waiting for Derek to give up. 

When it was obvious that neither was gonna break, it was like a switch hit them. They both threw themselves into the other.

The hug felt desperate but they didn't care. They both needed this.

When they finally parted, Derek kept a hand on Stiles' waist. 

"You feel it too, don't you?" Stiles asked.  
"The pull to be near each other."

Derek nodded. "I told you earlier I did. Is that why you came to see me?" 

Stiles dropped his eyes. 

Derek lifted his chin. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm glad you came." 

Stiles looked at Derek's lips. Before Stiles could talk himself out of it, he was Kissing Derek. 

 

Derek tensed, but he couldn't stop himself from melting into the kiss after a moment. 

Stiles had his hands on Derek's cheeks while Derek gripped Stiles' waist. 

The hunter slid one hand to the back of Derek's neck and the other into his jet black hair. This caused Derek to pull Stiles into him so thier bodies were flush against one another.

The kiss grew more heated and Derek felt his hands start to wander. One dropped to Stiles hip and the other snaked around to the small of his back. 

The smell of growing arousal from Stiles pulled him out of his trance. He pushed Stiles back gently by his waist. 

"Sorry, I just thought maybe it would help." Stiles panted slightly. 

"It's fine, I just...didn't want it to progress into something...we might regret." Derek answered. That wasn't really why he pushed Stiles away. He just didn't want his wolf to take the intimacy as a mating experience. His wolf was desperate to make Stiles his, but he wasn't going to do anything without Stiles wanting him to. With Stiles being a trigger he didn't trust his wolf.

"I don't think anyone would regret being with you. Have you seen you?" Stiles grinned gesturing to the alpha's full body. 

Derek felt his wolf pushing to come through at the frustration of wanting Stiles, needing him. 

"You okay?" Stiles asked frowning.   
"Why are you about to shift? Did I do something?" 

Derek clenched his fists and eyes willing his wolf to stay put. 

"Derek?" Stiles placed a hand on Derek's arm and suddenly Derek couldn't breathe. 

"Hey, listen to my voice, concentrate on my heartbeat. Don't think about anything else, just the steady rhythm of my heart." Stiles urged placing a clawed hand on his chest. 

Derek did as Stiles said and concentrated on the gentle thumping under his hand. 

Slowly Derek felt his wolf calm down. 

"There you go, big guy. Nice and steady." Stiles encouraged running a hand along the side of Derek's head, his thumb caressing the werewolf's temple. 

Derek finally pulled away from Stiles slowly.

"You okay?" Stiles asked his tone still full of worry.

"I uh, I think my wolf didn't want to stop." Derek chuckled hoping Stiles would play it off as a joke. 

"That makes two of us." Stiles winked. 

Derek felt his heart start to race again. But he quickly concentrated on Stiles' heartbeat again. That was a good grounding method. 

"Listen, I was wondering if we could just talk or something." Stiles shrugged, shifting slightly.

Derek grinned. "You know Dean gets all squirmy when he's nervous too. You're a lot like him." 

Stiles felt his cheeks heat up. 

"Come on, lay down." Derek said sliding into the bed leaving enough room for Stiles.

Stiles bit at his bottom lip as he slid in next to the alpha. 

Derek wanted to pull Stiles to him but he didn't want to make things uncomfortable. 

"Are you okay, Der? You've been having trouble controlling your shift lately." Stiles asked playing with the hem of the sheets.

"I don't know." Derek lied.

"Maybe you should call Deaton." Stiles suggested.

Derek was glad Stiles couldn't tell he was lying.

"Yeah, good idea." 

"So, I have to ask..." Stiles shifted like he always did, causing Derek to smirk.

"This, pull or connection between us. Have you ever felt this before?" 

Derek swallowed nervously. "No."

"Do you think it has to do with the fact that you're an alpha?" 

"Maybe." 

"Could it be this weird sexual tension between us?" 

"Possibly." 

"Can you give me more than one word answers?" Stiles huffed.

"Yes." Derek answered with a smile.

Stiles let out an exaggerated huff. 

"Look, I don't have the answers, Stiles.  I'm sorry." Derek placed a hand on Stiles arm.

"Would you regret sleeping with me?" Stiles asked suddenly catching Derek off guard. 

Derek tensed. He didn't know what to say. If he said yes he'd be lying but if he said no he'd be lying. The idea of sleeping with Stiles made his stomach flip and his heart race.

"It's okay to say yes." Stiles said when Derek didn't respond.

"Would I regret it? No. Do I think it's a good idea? No." Derek answered with a frown.

"You think it'll make things weird between us." Stiles guessed fiddlingwith the sheet again.

"I think you would regret it, and when you finally meet the love of your life, you don't want to have to explain to them that I was a one night stand." Derek tried to keep his tone light but he wasn't doing a good job.

Stiles scoffed. "I'm never gonna love anyone. It's too dangerous." 

"You dated Malia and Isaac." Derek pointed out. 

"I thought I could fill this hole that I have but, Malia was in love with Scott and whenever I looked at Isaac, I thought about how I killed his girlfriend. I'm not meant to be with anyone." Stiles responded.

Derek felt his heart drop. 

"What about your brothers, they found someone." Derek hoped Stiles would change his mind.

"What do you mean?" Stiles looked at Derek with a confused frown.

"Cas and Dean slept together last night, so it's safe to say, that ship has sailed. Sam just got back from a date with Gabriel, and based off their conversation, Sam has agreed to a second date, so that ship is boarding." Derek explained.

Stiles sat up suddenly. "Whoa, Cas and Dean...and Sam with..." Stiles couldn't believe his ears. 

"They never tell me anything." Stiles huffed. 

"To be fair Dean didn't intend for me to find out and Sam doesn't know either. And Sam's date wasn't public knowledge but, werewolf hearing." Derek tapped his ear with a shrug.

Stiles laughed as he layed back turning to face Derek. 

"Guess it's just you and I then, big guy." Stiles said mindlessly running a finger through Derek's chest hair. 

Derek closed his eyes. Oh how he wished that was true. 

"What happens when you find a she wolf that catches your eye?" Stiles asked looking up from Derek's chest.

Derek met Stiles' curious whiskey brown eyes. "I've giving up on she anything." Derek chuckled.

"Okay, he wolf then?" Stiles dropped his eyes back to Derek's chest.

"He wolves are too territorial." Derek gave a small shrug.

"You're scared too, huh?" Stiles asked pulling his hand away from Derek.

Derek caught Stiles' wrist forcing Stiles to meet Derek's eyes once again.

Derek slowly leaned in pressing his lips to Stiles' as he released the hunters wrist.

Stiles put his hand on Derek's chest. He teased Derek's tongue with his, until Derek flipped Stiles so he was now hovering over him. His eyes were crimson. He needed to stop, but Stiles was looking at him with lustful eyes.

 

Stiles pulled Derek down, connecting their lips. Derek gripped Stiles hands pulling them above Stiles' head. 

Stiles let out a small moan, which only made Derek grip harder. Derek's mouth found it's way to Stiles' jaw.

"D-Der, you're-you're shifting." Stiles panted. 

Derek pulled back as reality came crashing down. 

"I'm-I'm sorry, I- did I hurt you?" Derek's eyes scanned Stiles worriedly.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm fine. I was just making sure you were." Stiles reached for Derek. 

Derek relaxed slightly. "I don't think we should...do that...again." Derek fought to ignore the scent of Stiles' arousal. 

"Yeah, yeah, that's probably best." Stiles nodded. He went to stand up when Derek grabbed his wrist again. 

"You don't have to go, I'm sorry." Derek said almost begging Stiles to stay.

"Okay." Stiles laid back down. Derek pressed himself against Stiles laying his head on Stiles' chest.

"Is this okay?" Derek asked cautiously.

"Yeah, of course." Stiles wrapped an arm around Derek. 

"Your heartbeat is soothing." Derek sighed.

"I'm glad." Stiles said quietly as he closed his eyes. Maybe he wouldn't ever find love, but he had Derek, and to Stiles, that was just as good.


	46. I'm here and I'm not leaving

Derek woke to find himself still curled into Stiles his head still on the hunter's chest. Based on Stiles breathing he was still asleep. Derek let his senses take in the situation. Stiles' warmth, his scent, and the calming thud of his heartbeat. Derek felt a strange peace he hadn't felt in a very long time. He gently pulled away from the comfort of Stiles. He had to remember that Stiles wasn't his. 

Dean leaned over the table placing a sweet kiss on Cas' lips. The angel grinned at the oldest Winchester.

"So are you two making it official?" Derek asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"What the-?" Dean turned to face Derek. 

"Do you have super stealth too?" 

Derek smirked. "No, you're just incredibly deaf." 

Dean threw an empty egg carton, which Derek caught expertly.

"Dean and I are not wanting to make a big deal of anything." Cas spoke up as he grabbed Dean's hand to stop him from throwing something else at the werewolf. 

"Fair enough." Derek gave a nod before taking what he knew to be Stiles' cup of coffee. 

"Do you enjoy pissing Stiles off?" Dean laughed as Derek put the cup to his lips.

"Yeah, obviously." Derek snickered holding up the mug of coffee. 

"Speaking of Stiles." Dean looked at Derek with a small smile.

"I went to wake him up and see if he wanted the last of the eggs. He wasn't in his room." 

Derek tensed. "It's not what you think." Derek said defensively setting his mug down. 

"Hey, I've been rooting for you two since the beginning, it's fine." Dean put his hands up to show he wasn't attacking Derek about it, he was merely bringing it up.

"He came in last night to talk, we just happened to fall asleep. That's it." Derek shook his head.

"He still doesn't know." Dean realized. 

Derek didn't respond. Instead he frowned at the floor.

"You need to tell him. He-" 

"No." Derek snapped cutting Dean off.  
"I can't let him agree to anything out of pity, or obligation, or any other reason than him wanting it." 

"How do you know if you don't ask?" Dean pushed.

"I know Stiles, he would risk his life to save someone he hates. I've seen him do it. He would risk his life to rescue the king of hell from demons. You really think he would even think twice about agreeing to this if he even for a moment thought it would make me happy?" Derek snapped. He would not put that pressure on Stiles and he'd be damned if he let Dean.

"What of he wants this and he's afraid to say anything?" Dean asked crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against his chair.

"I can smell his emotions and I can tell if he's lying. Besides he told me last night he would never love anyone because it was too dangerous." Derek downed the rest of his coffee. His ears perked as he heard Sam walking toward the kitchen.

"He says that but, so did I, and look at me now, Cas and I-" 

"Hey, Sam you want a coffee?" Derek said a bit loudly, cutting Dean off.

At that moment Sam walked in. "Hey, guys, no thanks, I've got a smoothie." He smiled making his way to the fridge.

Derek glanced at a relieved looking Dean who gave Derek an appreciative wink.

Derek only smirked shaking his head slightly. 

Dean sneered at the glass of green mush Sam sat down with.

"Dean, it's not that bad." Sam smiled holding out the glass towards a horrified looking Dean. 

Derek busied himself making another pot of coffee as Sam started in on all the health benefits of the grass he was calling breakfast. 

Derek felt his heart pick up a pace at the sound of Stiles coming down the hall. 

He poured the hot liquid that he'd just brewed into his cup, and another cup. He liked his coffee black but he knew Stiles was very particular about his. He liked one sugar cube and one teaspoon of milk. He mixed the concoction just as Stiles walked in. 

"Morning little brother." Dean grinned. 

Stiles walked to the coffee pot to see it empty.

"Derek, I'm seriously gonna kill you." Stiles turned to see Derek holding out a cup towards him.

"It's fresh." Derek said when Stiles looked at him with a glare. 

"What did you do to it?" Stiles accused as he took the cup.

"Nothing, Stiles, just drink your damn coffee." Derek smirked rolling his eyes.

Stiles looked up from having a sip with confused eyes. 

"Der, this is perfect." 

"I'm glad you like it." Derek said drinking from his own cup.

"How'd you- but I- how- How did you know how I like my coffee? I've never told you, cause I knew you'd give me unending hell." Stiles eyed Derek curiously.

Derek tried to keep his tone light.  
"I dunno, I just did." Derek shrugged hoping that would he a good enough answer. Who was he kidding, this was Stiles.

"No, it's too specific to guess, or just know. I've told my brothers a hundred times and they still never get it right." 

Shit. How was he gonna explain that he'd noticed, one day, when Stiles was at his loft. The memory flooded his mind.

"Uh, Derek, where are you're measuring spoons?" Stiles asked opening random drawers in the kitchen.

"Why do you need a measuring spoon?" Derek raised a brow at the brunette.

"Just answer the question." Stiles snapped. 

"Fourth drawer from the right." Derek answered. Lydia was right, Stiles was grumpy before his coffee and Scott had demanded a pack meet at eight am. Something about being alert at all times. 

Derek watched with curious eyes as Stiles very carefully measured out his milk and then placed one single sugar cube into his coffee. Derek held back a smirk. Derek would stow that information away with all the other things Stiles did that Derek found endearing, like squirming when he got nervous, or the way he squinted his eyes at something or someone that didn't make sense, or the little tapping he does with two of his fingers when he's frustrated or impatient.

"I remember you needed a measuring spoon at my place once, I just happen to notice." Derek shrugged. He felt all eyes in the room on him. 

"That was easily over a year and a half ago. I'm surprised you remembered." Stiles smiled.

Derek simply shrugged as he downed the rest of his second cup. 

"Stiles, do you believe in soulmates?" Sam asked suddenly causing Derek to whip his head around making his cup miss the counter and come to a shattered halt on the floor.

"Man between the two of you we're gonna run out of mugs." Dean laughed.

Derek glared at the hunter.

"You okay, Derek?" Stiles asked walking over to help clean it up.

"I've got it, I don't want you to get cut." Derek held his hand out stop Stiles.

"Derek, you're cut." Stiles said grabbing Derek's hand. 

Derek flipped his hand where he'd been sliced. "I'm already healed." Derek smiled at Stiles fondly, he loved how concerned Stiles was for him, even though he was a supernatural creature with super abilities. 

Stiles let out a small relieved sigh. He was still holding Derek's bloody hand. 

"I'll clean this, I was gonna clean the kitchen anyway. You get him cleaned up and the cars loaded." Sam said grabbing the broom. 

Without moving, or looking away from Derek's green eyes, Stiles spoke up. "To answer your question, Sam, yes, I do believe in soulmates I just don't think you only get one, and I don't think they have to be romantic at all." 

Derek fought to keep his composure. He felt the pity radiating off of Dean and Sam. 

When no one responded Stiles pulled Derek behind him and down the hall. "We'll be ready in fifteen." Stiles yelled.

Stiles pulled Derek into his bathroom and ran Derek's hand under the warm water, risking away the blood. 

Derek dried his hands but before he could walk out of the bathroom, Stiles pinned Derek to the door.

His face incredibly close to his own. 

Derek didn't move. He watched as Stiles eyed his mouth with want. Derek fought to keep his cool. 

Stiles finally leaned forward to where their noses touched. He closed his eyes.

"The things I want to do to you, Derek Hale." Stiles growled out. 

Derek felt his hand twitch with temptation. 

"It's like my body craves you." Stiles continued.  
"I don't know if it's the danger of you shifting, or if I'm seriously deprived, or if it's cause I feel completely safe with you but, I want to feel you against me. And not only in a sexual way but in a....way that makes me feel connected to you. Sleeping with you in my arms... it was perfect." Stiles sighed rubbing his nose slowly against Derek's. 

Derek suddenly crashed his lips to Stiles'. The alpha grabbed Stiles' thighs lifting him off the ground. Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek's waist as Derek pressed him up against the wall. Stiles gripped eagerly at Derek's raven colored hair. 

Derek pulled back slightly before dipping to Stiles' neck. Stiles tilted his head to the side giving Derek full access. A low growl escaped from Derek's throat. 

The scent of Stiles' growing arousal and the small moan he let out did nothing to keep Derek's wolf at bay. It wanted Stiles, and so did Derek. 

"Fuck, Derek." Stiles said breathlessly. 

Derek ran his teeth along the slope of Stiles' neck. 

"Der, mark me." Stiles begged. 

Derek felt his fangs extend quickly causing him to release Stiles. 

Stiles managed to land on his feet but he immediately dropped to his knees where Derek was fighting a shift. 

"Derek, shh, listen to my voice. Remember yesterday? You said my heartbeat was soothing." Stiles gently placed Derek's hand to his chest. He held it there with one hand as he ran his other hand through Derek's hair soothingly. 

"You....have to watch...what you say." Derek panted. 

"What did I say? That I wanted you to mar-" Derek pressed his hand over Stiles' mouth. 

"Don't. Please, don't." Derek begged his hand falling back to Stiles' chest.

"Oh, my, god, I'm a trigger." Stiles said pulling back and standing. 

"Stiles, please." Derek reached for Stiles. 

"Why-why didn't you say something?" Stiles asked, horrified at the idea of what he'd been putting Derek through.

"Stiles." Derek felt his wolf fighting hard.

"No, I'm a trigger, I can't-" 

Suddenly Derek grabbed Stiles pulling him to the floor.

"You're my anchor, Stiles." Derek growled.

"But, what? How?" Stiles stumbled over his words. 

"Just come here." Derek reached for Stiles who grabbed Derek's hand placing it cautiously back on his chest. 

Derek felt his wolf ease up a bit. Stiles was like a shot of morphine. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you, I just...couldn't bear the thought of you trying to keep your distance. I need you Stiles, to an unhealthy degree." Derek apologized, his breaths slowing down. 

"I-" Stiles wanted to tell Derek that he needed Derek too, but he was afraid to set him off again. Instead he ran his thumb comfortingly along Derek's cheek and down his jaw. 

Derek let out a small sigh letting Stiles know he understood what he was saying.

'I'm here, and I'm not leaving'


	47. Want me

Dean closed the trunk of Baby and looked over at Cas. The angel was currently setting his, Sam and Dean's bags in the back seat. 

Dean reached for Cas, pulling him into him. Their foreheads touching. 

"Cas, you're so beautiful." Dean whispered before dipping in for a sweet kiss. 

Cas held on to Dean's hips as he pressed Cas against the impala. 

"I can't believe you're mine." Dean hummed into Cas' mouth. 

"All yours." Cas agreed. 

"And I'm all yours." Dean smiled looking into Cas' ocean blue eyes. 

"Oh, I know." Cas winked earning a blush from the Winchester.

The door to the garage opened with, Sam, Derek, and Stiles. Dean pulled back from Cas quickly. 

"Okay, so we'll head towards Minnesota we should get there in about twelve hours. We'll rest for the night and then hopefully we'll get this Lance." Sam spoke as he set his laptop in the front seat of the impala.

"Alright, let's get a move on." Dean nodded opening the car door and sliding in.

"You good to drive first?" Derek asked Stiles as he closed the trunk where he'd put their bags.

"Yeah." Stiles smiled at Derek. 

The werewolf felt a warmth in the pit of his stomach whenever Stiles smiled at him. 

"Hey, Derek." Sam said quietly after Stiles had climbed into his drivers seat.

Derek paused before opening his own door.

"Consider telling him. If I were him, I'd want to know." Sam gave a sympathetic look before slipping into the passenger's side of the impala.

Derek let out a heavy sigh. He wished he could, but he knew nothing good would come from telling Stiles anything. 

-

Several hours into the drive a comfortable silence fell over Stiles and Derek.  They had talked mostly about different hunts Stiles had been on and the men of letters bunker. 

Derek suddenly smelled that familiar anxiety smell he'd grown so used to, from Stiles.

"What's wrong?" Derek frowned looking over at the hunter. 

"Nothing." Stiles shook his head not taking his eyes off the road.

"You reek of anxiety, what's wrong?" Derek asked again.

Stiles huffed. "You know, that's not fair, I don't get to tell what you're feeling based on your smell. There are some things I'd like to keep to myself, you know."

Derek frowned looking at Stiles seriously. "Stiles, you know you don't have to keep anything from me, right? I'm you're alpha, you should be able to trust me completely." 

"I do, do trust you, it's just...there are things I think about that, I don't want to necessarily talk about." Stiles glanced at a still frowning Derek.

"You're anxious though." Derek pointed out.

"What I was thinking about put me on edge a bit." Stiles shrugged.

"What were you thinking about?" Derek desperately wanted to make Stiles feel better. The alpha in him needed Stiles to feel better.

Stiles didn't respond. The scent of his anxiety got more pronounced.

"Stiles." Derek placed a hand on Stiles' which was sitting on his gear shifter.

Stiles looked over at Derek with a look of sadness.

"Stiles, please, talk to me." Derek begged.

"Why am I a trigger for you now?" Stiles asked, his voice small as if he was embarrassed to be asking. 

Derek tensed, pulling his hand back. 

"See I can visibly tell you're uncomfortable with the question. But I can't smell if you're mad or sad or anxious because I asked it." Stiles huffed with a small groan.

"I don't have an answer for you, Stiles." Derek responded. He couldn't tell Stiles that he was Derek's mate and his alpha was desperate to claim Stiles as his own. 

"You say I can tell you anything." Stiles sighed.

"Of course." Derek nodded. 

"That goes both ways. I'm here for you too Derek, in any way that you need me." 

Derek clenched his eyes, turning away from Stiles so he wouldn't see. 

"Der." Stiles put a hand on Derek's leg causing the alpha to whip his head towards Stiles. His eyes crimson red. 

Stiles quickly went to pull his hand away but Derek stopped him by grabbing it in his own.

"Stiles, it's complicated." Derek found himself wanting to tell Stiles, but if Stiles rejected him...well let's just say he didn't need to be locked in a sports car when his wolf reacted.

"What is?" Stiles asked cautiously.

"A trigger is brought on by my wolf's needs. So if I want to hurt someone really badly, anytime I was near them they would trigger my wolf. The same thing goes for if my wolf...wants someone." Derek gripped Stiles hand harder.

"Oh." Stiles looked at Derek who was worrying his bottom lip.

"I guess I'm just really physically attracted to you and even though you're my anchor you also trigger me." Derek sighed.

"Then why does it get worse when...we..." Stiles paused.

"Because it wants you, all of you." Derek answered trying to keep his wolf at bay.

"Der, you are my alpha, you can have every part of me, anytime, you know that." Stiles squeezed Derek's hand gently.

"Stiles." Derek growled.  
"You can't say those kind of things." 

"But it's true. I'm just as attracted to you, Derek. I would love to give you any part of me you wanted." 

Derek could smell the arousal on Stiles. 

"No." Derek growled deeper this time. He was trying to block out the intoxicating smell of Stiles.

"You don't want me." Stiles said suddenly realization washing over him.

"What?" Derek frowned as he snapped his head towards the hunter. He had literally just told Stiles how much he wanted him.

"Your wolf wants me but, you don't." Stiles said a sadness to his tone that Derek heard clearly, despite Stiles' efforts.

"That's not it at all, Stiles. I absolutely want you, but..." Derek didn't know how to explain how dangerous it would be for Stiles and Derek to give in. 

"But, you'd regret it." Stiles nodded remembering when Derek had stopped them before.

"It's dangerous, Stiles." Derek snapped. He hated Stiles thinking Derek didn't want him, or that he would regret being with Stiles.

"How?" Stiles frowned. 

Derek gripped Stiles' hand harder desperately trying to keep his wolf at bay.

"It could...ruin us." Derek frowned at his choice of words.

"Ruin us?" Stiles asked unsure of what Derek meant by that.

"Us, what we have, our...friendship." Derek answered uneasily.

"You're worried I'm going to want to take it further." Stiles guessed.

Derek clenched his jaw. The air in the tiny car was starting to suffocate him.

"I promise I would never push anything you didn't want. If you didn't want me anymore, than that would be the end, I wouldn't even so much as hint at it again. If you wanted to keep it going for longer, I would let you take the lead. I promise not to let any other feelings-"

"Stiles, I could mark you!" Derek yelled silencing the Winchester.

"Why's that bad? I'm okay with-"

"No." Derek interrupted again.  
"It's different for a werewolf. Marking someone isn't just a bruise that'll fade. It's a...permanent thing. It's a...claim." Derek struggled to get his words out.

"You're worried that you'll...claim me?" Stiles asked making sure he heard correctly.

"We're really close and my wolf could confuse our intimacy as a mating experience." Derek didn't realize how hard he was holding onto Stiles' hand

"Oh." Stiles said, more to himself.

"That really is permanent." Stiles nodded.

"Was it hard to keep from claiming...others that you've been with?" Stiles asked cautiously.

Derek clenched his jaw again. Stiles was smart and if he kept asking questions, he was going to figure out that he was Derek's mate. And Derek couldn't let that happen. 

"I haven't really been with anyone other than, Kate, Jennifer, and Braeden." Derek shrugged.  
"And I wasn't close with any of them."

Stiles nodded. 

"I guess when I asked you to mark me the other day..." Stiles trailed off.

"Yeah, that was...difficult." Derek nodded trying not to recall the memory. 

Stiles didn't respond. It was clear that he wasn't planning on asking anymore questions. 

Derek felt himself relax including his grip on Stiles' hand, but Derek made no move to release him. He needed Stiles' touch, especially after a conversation like that.


	48. In the worst way

Sam handed Dean a key card and Stiles a key card. "Alright, we'll regroup in the morning around nine to set up a game plan."

"Wait, are we in a different room?" Stiles asked noticing Dean's key card had a different room number than his.

"Yes, I refuse to share a room with you four." Sam answered.

"What why?" Stiles scoffed.

"Between their 'not so secret relationship' and whatever this is-" Sam gestured to Stiles and Derek. 

"I decided it would get a bit...crowded." 

Dean's jaw dropped. "What-?"

"You're not very subtle Dean. You have made yourself the breakfast of champions three days in a row." Sam cut in before Dean could continue.

"So?" Dean frowned.

"You only make that when you get laid." Stiles rolled his eyes at the fact that Dean thought he and sam hadn't figured that out by now.

Dean's face flushed bright red but he didn't respond. 

"So then what's wrong with us?" Stiles asked referring to Derek and himself. 

"We aren't in a 'not so secret' relationship." 

"Yes, I'm aware, and the sexual tension is palpable." Sam answered with a glance at Derek.

It was Stiles' turn to flush in embarrassment. He knew Sam wasn't wrong but there was a reason they hadn't just given in to the temptation. Derek was worried about his wolf and Stiles was worried about getting too attached. He already cared for Derek too much he didn't need to fall for the guy, and Stiles was sure if they pushed that line of friendship there would be no coming back. He had hoped that Derek would make the first move, making it easier for him to keep it strictly sexual. Of course he only told himself that would work. But he knew Derek didn't feel anything other than physical attraction to him, which he couldn't believe, as it was. He was sure it was due to being in such close quarters and being so comfortable with each other, plus the lack of physical interaction didn't help. However, Stiles liked to pretend Derek just found Stiles attractive, without any reasoning. 

Derek fought to keep from asking Stiles what he was thinking about as they made their way to their room. Stiles smelled of confusion and frustration. He wondered if it had anything to do with what Sam has said. They both knew he was right, but neither wanted to take that step. 

-

The words in front of Stiles began to blur he was reading them so fast. 

When a werewolf comes across their mate they can sense it. They feel an inexplicable urge to be near the individual. There is something compelling about the individual. They want to know everything about him or her. They want to spend time with the person. Inside, the werewolf will feel a sense of knowing they’ve found the right person, and they’ll no longer feel quite so alone. Everything will feel right, happy, and complete when they’re with their mate.   
If a werewolf finds a mate in a human it is not easily recognizable as the process is slightly different. The human will not release the pheromones that a werewolf does. When a werewolf finds another werewolf mate they will smell the pheromones letting them know that is their mate.  
If a human is the mate of a werewolf both will feel the pull to be near each other once the human is triggered. The triggering can be caused by a traumatic experience with the werewolf or by certain physical interactions.   
Once the human is triggered the werewolf will have the urge to mark their mate. This is a delicate process as it can be dangerous to the human, if not done carefully. If the mates are both triggered and they do not consummate the connection, they can become irritable, and lash out at each other. They may also feel a strong physical attraction that wasn't their before or it may be stronger than before. The only way to break the trigger is to separate from each other. They cannot be anywhere near each other, or the triggering will reenact. Once a werewolf has marked their mate, the irritability and overwhelming pull will diminish. Then they are mated for life.  
If a werewolf is rejected by their mate they will go through a grieving process that will consume them. They will have symptoms as if they have a serious illness, this can take weeks to months to heal from, depending on how close the two were.   
A mate cannot be rejected once they are marked. They cannot be unmarked. The only way mates can be separated, is by death.

Stiles blinked at the screen, his heart pounding out of his chest. Was he-was  he Derek's mate? No. That would be crazy. Besides, Derek would tell him; wouldn't he? Not if Derek didn't even know. But how would Derek take the news if he found out? Would he reject Stiles? The lore didn't mention anything about the effect a rejection would have on a human. 

Stiles closed out his laptop as he heard the shower cut off. Derek was finished with his shower. Stiles forced himself to calm down, otherwise Derek would sense something was wrong. Stupid werewolf.   
Was that irritability? Was he mad at Derek's senses cause they were un-consummated mates? 

Stiles shook his head. He was thinking too much into this. He needed to push it from his mind for now. 

The bathroom door opened. Derek stepped out with nothing but a towel on. Stiles felt his eyes scan the wet half naked man in front of him. He bit at his lip at the thought of what was under the towel. He almost hoped the fabric would slip, allowing him at least a taste. Speaking of taste, his mouth was practically watering at the idea of Derek wet and fully naked.

Derek opened his suitcase. He'd forgotten to grab a pair of boxers for after his shower. He tried desperately not to look at Stiles. He knew the sexual tension would only get worse. However, Derek was hit with a strong scent of arousal that caused him to freeze. 

He felt his wolf itching to come through. Derek gripped his suitcase desperately trying to stay calm. He tried to concentrate on Stiles' heartbeat, but the scent was clouding his mind, in the worst way.

"Stiles." Derek growled. 

"I can't help it." Stiles snapped already knowing what Derek was growling about.

Derek looked up, his eyes meeting Stiles'. 

"It's a bad idea." Derek said trying to convince himself as much as he was Stiles. 

"I know." Stiles said, though his tone didn't sound like he cared.

Stiles took a step towards Derek but stopped.

"Is this ever going to go away?" Stiles asked trying to keep his eyes on Derek's face. 

"I don't know." Derek answered not looking away from Stiles.

"Do you think...this means something?" Stiles asked cautiously.

Derek felt his stomach knot. "What do you mean?" 

"Like maybe there's a reason we feel this way about one another." Stiles bit his bottom lip as his eyes glanced at Derek's mouth. He wanted to kiss him so bad.

"We're both just sexually frustrated and attracted to each other." Derek lied. He refused to tell Stiles he was Derek's mate. If Stiles wanted to be with him that way, then he had to decide that on his own. 

"You truly believe that?" Stiles asked taking another step towards the alpha.

Derek only nodded.

"Then, why don't we just fix it? We won't have to worry about it anymore. We can stop...wanting each other." Stiles' eyes trailed down Derek slowly.

Derek felt his resolve slipping. 

"Stiles." Derek tried to argue but his voice came out as a desperate whine, causing Stiles' arousal to spike.

That was it. Derek closed the gap between them pulling the hunter into an eager kiss. 

Stiles let out a small moan as Derek's hands slid under Stiles' shirt. 

The werewolf lifted the fabric over Stiles' head. He needed skin contact. 

The two reconnected their lips quickly as Derek slid his thumbs in the hem of Stiles' sweats. 

Stiles wiggled out of them pushing Derek back towards the bed. He was desperate for more. They never went further than this and Stiles didn't think he could handle it if Derek stopped him again. He needed Derek, in the worst way.


	49. Meaningless

Stiles pushed Derek back on the bed slowly crawling over him their lips never parting. Derek's towel was still around his waist. Stiles slowly slid his hand down Derek's chest and to where the towel was tucked, to keep it up. He hesitated slightly expecting Derek to stop him. He didn't. 

Stiles tugged gently on the towel loosening it from Derek's hips. 

Derek let himself enjoy Stiles' touch. He could feel his wolf inpatient for more but he was letting Stiles set the pace. The less in control he was, the better. His wolf was easier to control when Stiles had the reigns. His wolf demanded control and if Derek did anything to dominate Stiles at all, he might not be able to control himself and the last thing he wanted was to mark Stiles without his okay.

"Stiles." Derek panted as Stiles pushed the towel back revealing his left hip. 

"Hmm?" Stiles didn't pull away from Derek's neck where he was currently placing open mouthed kisses.

"This is dangerous...I could..." Derek trailed off as Stiles bit down gently on Derek's shoulder. 

"I trust you, Derek." Stiles spoke against his jaw as he kissed back to Derek's lips. 

Derek felt his wolf relax a bit at Stiles' words. Derek didn't realize how important Stiles' trust was to him.

"It's not me you have to worry about. I'm an alpha and my wolf wants you, bad." Derek wanted Stiles to be sure of this.

Stiles didn't respond, instead he pushed the rest of the towel out of the way revealing all of Derek. 

Derek wanted to warn Stiles how serious a mark was, but Stiles wrapped his hand around Derek, causing the werewolf to lose all sense of coherency. 

"I don't just want you, Derek, I need you. I don't have the control you do. You walk out here half naked and wet and expect me to be able to keep my hands to myself, when I know you want me just as much?" Stiles spoke in Derek's ear as he stroked Derek slowly. 

Derek spread his legs causing Stiles to slip between them. He pulled the hunter closer to him. Stiles released Derek as he fell into his chest. 

Derek grabbed at Stiles' ass as he pressed their hips together. 

Stiles moaned into Derek's mouth. 

"Why do you still having clothing on?" Derek growled in response.

Derek pushed the fabric down, allowing Stiles to kick off the last layer of clothing between them. The feel of their erections pressing against each other had Derek struggling to keep his wolf at bay. 

"Stiles, I don't know if I can...control myself. " Derek panted.

Stiles ran a hand through the alphas hair. "It's okay, it's just you and I releasing a little tension. Don't think about it too much." 

Stiles rested his forehead on Derek's. 

"Stiles, I'm not sure you understand, I don't want to mark you." Derek spoke desperately.

Derek's words stung a bit. If he was Derek's mate Derek would to mark him, so he couldn't be. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

"Is there something I can do or not do?" Stiles asked pulling back from Derek some so he could look into Derek's eyes. The pale green color was fading in and out of a deep red. Derek was really struggling.

"Perhaps we need to treat it like just sex. And I-I shouldn't be in control." Derek needed a release, and he wasn't sure he could stop at this point. 

"You want me to be in control?" Stiles asked in surprise.

Derek nodded hurriedly.

"You mean, like, me top?" Stiles never imagined Derek bottoming, ever.

"Yes." Derek whined. He felt pathetic. Only Stiles could do this to him. 

"Did you bottom with Braeden?" Stiles asked. (Let's pretend Braeden was a guy for the sake of the story) 

Derek shook his head. 

"That's gonna require a lot of prep and I didn't bring any-"

"Stiles, I'm a werewolf, I heal instantly, I need you, now." Derek growled. 

Stiles felt his dick twitch at Derek's words. 

"I don't want to treat you like a meaningless lay." Stiles struggled.

"That's what this is isn't it? Meaningless sex?" Derek raised a brow at Stiles. He feared his wolf might snap if Stiles disagreed.

"When you say it like that, it sounds bad." Stiles rolled his eyes. He pulled himself off of Derek. 

Derek let out an involuntary whine.

"Do you want it to be meaningless or not?" Stiles huffed. 

"I can't look you in the eyes if it's supposed to be meaningless. Flip." Stiles ordered.

Derek felt his nerves on high alert. He never imagined himself bottoming but he'd do anything for Stiles. He needed the tension release and so did Stiles. He only hoped this would satisfy his wolf enough to calm down.

Stiles grabbed Derek's hips. It felt wrong not prepping him, especially since he never bottomed. 

"Der, are you sure this is a good idea?" Stiles bit at his lip.

Derek turned and pulled Stiles into an aggressive kiss. 

"I'm trying to keep from tying myself to you romantically, for life." Derek growled.

"But I always imagined our first time together would be slower, and passionate, and you on top." Stiles frowned.

"You imagined what our first time together would be like?" Derek asked surprised. 

"Of course, I've gotten off to the idea more times than I care to admit." Stiles blushed a bit.

"Damn it, Winchester." Derek growled flipping them so Derek was now hovering over Stiles, his eyes full on alpha red.

"Be very careful what you say, and do not bare your throat to me, got it?" Derek ordered as he slid his hands up Stiles' sides.

The hunter only nodded, afraid if he said anything, it would scare Derek away. 

Derek smelled Stiles' arousal spike again. 

Stiles scooted down and grabbed Derek's hips as Derek stayed on all fours. 

"What are-" He cut himself off when he felt a warm wet feeling around his cock.

Derek gripped the bed harshly as Stiles rolled his tongue around him expertly. 

Derek let out a low growl. It wasn't one of warning, but of satisfaction. 

Suddenly the sensation was gone forcing another whine from Derek. 

Stiles slid back up. "Just to help it glide." Stiles winked.

Derek chuckled at Stiles' choice of words. Leave it to Stiles to say something stupid during sex.

Derek used his knees to spread Stiles' legs. 

"I'm gonna use a trick I learned." Derek said gently as he pushed his dick to Stiles entrance slowly.

Stiles had always been prepped so, he bit at his lower lip anxiously. 

Derek obviously sensed his anxiety, causing the werewolf to run his hand along Stiles' thigh.

"I've got you." Derek spoke in Stiles' ear as he pressed himself into the hunter. 

Stiles felt a slight bit of pressure but it was easily tolerable. 

Derek took his time, slowly pulling the pain from Stiles as he bottomed out.

Stiles felt amazing around him. He felt his wolf fighting to come through but he concentrated on not moving. Allowing Stiles to adjust properly.

"Derek." Stiles breathed out quietly. 

Derek knew Stiles was ready. He slowly pulled back earning a small hiss from the Winchester. 

Derek immediately stopped but Stiles groaned.

"No, don't stop, I like it." 

Derek raised his brows at Stiles. Did Stiles have a pain kink?

"I'm a Winchester, we're used to pain." Stiles shrugged obviously embarrassed by this new revelation. 

"That bodes well for me. I have a tendency of being a bit rough sometimes." Derek said, pressing his lips to Stiles as he pushed back in.

Stiles moaned rolling his head back a bit.

Derek's eyes landed on the pulse point at Stiles' throat. It was a strange feeling to want to bite someone during sex but Derek wanted to badly.

Stiles, as if realizing what Derek was thinking, immediately dropped his head back, and pulled Derek in a heated kiss. 

The distraction worked as Derek melted into Stiles. 

Stiles slowly wiggled his hips urging Derek to speed up.

Derek obliged and started to thrust himself into Stiles steadily. He tilted his hips a bit until he found the spot he was looking for.

"Fuck, Derek." Stiles swore as Derek's cock hit his sweet spot. 

Derek worked Stiles like they'd been lovers for years. It was satiating. 

Derek was enamored with Stiles. The way he looked under him was better than anything Derek could ever dream up. His wolf wanted to claim the gorgeous human as his but Derek couldn't let that happen. 

"Der." Stiles panted under him.

"Hmm?" Derek asked pulling himself from his thoughts. 

"Stop thinking so much, and just fuck me." Stiles gave Derek a wanton look.

Derek felt his eyes turn red. He thrust into Stiles harder earning a satisfied moan, and Stiles digging his nails into Derek's back. 

"Fuck, Stiles." Derek growled as he picked up his pace. The smell of Stiles satisfaction and arousal was intoxicating to Derek. He wanted this all the time. He wanted Stiles' lips against his. He wanted to feel Stiles from the inside. He wanted to hear the breathless moans stumble from Stiles' mouth. We wanted to watch Stiles come undone under him. He wanted Stiles. 

"Derek, fuck, don't stop." Stiles moaned arching his back as Derek gripped Stiles' hips. 

Derek's eyes stayed focused on the throbbing of Stiles' pulse in his neck. He felt his fangs extend but he didn't make any move to close the distance between them.

"Shit, Derek, you are-" Stiles was cut off by a warmth around his untouched cock. 

Derek was pumping Stiles to the rhythm of his thrusts. 

"Mmmm, Derrr." Stiles threw his head back. 

Derek let out a hungry growl. Stiles immediately pulled Derek into another kiss.

"Oh fuck, Derek, oh, yes." Stiles panted against Derek's lips.

"Derek, I-" Stiles cut himself off with a loud moan. 

Derek knew Stiles was close and that caused his wolf to push harder. Derek ignored his extended claws as he dug into the bed. He clenched his jaw keeping his fangs concealed. 

"Derek, oh, Derek." Stiles' breathing was getting faster. Derek could feel Stiles holding back and that drove his wolf even crazier. 

"Stiles, relax. Just enjoy it." Derek whispered against his lips.

Stiles let out a whine in response, but Derek felt Stiles' tension release as he chanted Derek's name louder. 

Derek had never loved the sound of his name more than he did right now, with Stiles panting it in a desperate plea beneath him.

"Derek." Stiles' voice was high pitched and breathy. Derek knew what was about to happen and he couldn't help himself but to dip his head to Stiles' ear.

"I'm right here, baby, I've got you." Derek whispered sensually. 

Stiles' release was more than Derek had bargained for. The smell of Stiles cumming in his hand, the feel of Stiles clenched around him, the sound of Derek's name falling from Stiles' slightly swollen lips and the way he exposed his throat, was all too much. 

Derek's own orgasm hit him unexpectedly and he found himself at the mercy of his wolf.  Derek's mouth was at Stiles' throat before he could stop himself.


	50. Guilty

Stiles felt Derek's teeth graze his neck. He had seen him coming and was already pulling away.

Stiles heard Derek's jaw snap closed inches from his throat. 

Instantly Derek was off of him. 

"Fuck." Derek swore running his hand through his hair. 

"We already did." Stiles chuckled trying to keep Derek calm with light humor.

Derek responded with a glare. 

Before Stiles could say anything, Derek was walking into the bathroom. 

Stiles knew Derek was frustrated; that had been close. Stiles tried not to make a big deal of it, knowing Derek would freak out.

When Derek stepped back into the room he quickly pulled on a pair of underwear and sweats. 

"You regret it, don't you?" Stiles felt Derek's tension. 

Derek gripped the side of his bag trying to remain in control. His wolf was pissed. He could feel the anger and frustration building up, and Stiles was being much too calm about what had just happened. Derek had been seconds from sinking his teeth into Stiles. If Stiles hadn't moved at the last second, he would been marked. Permanently tied to Derek for life. 

"Stiles, go shower." Derek growled. He smelled like Derek and it wasn't helping matters.

Stiles didn't respond. He simply got up closing himself in the bathroom. He looked unfazed, but Derek could smell the disappointment radiating off of him.

-

Stiles debated on whether or not he should tell Sam and Dean that Derek had taken off, leaving his phone behind. Had he left for good? All his stuff was still there. Maybe he just needed time. Why would he leave his phone? Maybe he knew Stiles would call, and he needed space. Maybe Derek regretted sleeping with Stiles. Maybe now that Derek had finally gotten him in bed, he realized how much he didn't want Stiles. 

Stiles sighed. Surely he was being overdramatic and Derek was just upset cause he'd almost marked Stiles. 

Stiles felt guilty, he'd pressured Derek. Derek tried to warn him and Stiles ignored it. He was no better than Kate or Jennifer.

-

Derek sat, leaned back against a tree trunk. He'd gone for a much needed run and was hoping to waste time until Stiles fell asleep. He was just behind the small hotel so he could hear Stiles. So far Stiles had tried to call him and then spent the remainder of the time pacing the room. It didn't seem like he was stopping any time soon. Derek had been gone for close to three hours. He'd slipped out shortly after Stiles had gotten into the shower. 

He was starting to feel the day's exhaustion catching up with him. He closed his eyes but the image of Stiles coming undone under him flooded his mind. Derek had never felt a connection like that during sex before. Stiles really did things to him. And the way he'd trusted Derek completely, it hurt to think he'd almost marked him. Stiles had trusted him, and he couldn't keep control. Stiles acted like everything was fine, but Derek had smelled the fear Stiles had felt momentarily. 

Derek had been careless, he'd given in knowing how dangerous it was for Stiles. He felt sick thinking of how Stiles would have reacted if he hadn't pulled away in time. As it was, his teeth had grazed Stiles' skin. Derek pressed his fingers to his temples in frustration. He needed to get this under control before someone got hurt.

-

Stiles jumped to his feet at the sound of the door.

"Where the hell have you been?" Stiles snapped. 

Derek could smell the relief and anger Stiles was feeling.

"I needed air." Derek answered simply.

"For three hours?" Stiles scoffed.

"Yes." Derek snapped. He didn't have the patience to do this right now, he just wanted to go to bed. 

"You couldn't have taken your phone?" Stiles snapped back.

"I knew you'd call me fifty times and I needed space." Derek growled as he made his way to his bed.

"So then leave a note. A simple, 'Hey, I didn't take off because I hate you, and I do plan on coming back' would have been nice." Stiles gestured to a notepad, provided by the hotel, that sat untouched on the table.

"You knew I'd be back." Derek huffed. 

"You're track record doesn't exactly give me that comfort." Stiles snapped.

Derek paused. "I promised." 

"Yeah well, you're a bit of a loose canon." Stiles quipped.

Derek clenched his teeth. He was feeling so many different things that he was getting dizzy. 

"Stiles, no matter what happens, I'm not leaving." Derek growled. 

"Good, cause I'd hate to have to hunt you down." Stiles huffed. 

Derek smelled the relief Stiles felt. He hated causing Stiles to worry, but he knew what he needed. Stiles was right though, he could have left a note. 

"So, are you okay?" Stiles asked cautiously, not making any move to go towards the werewolf. 

"I'm fine." Derek answered curtly. 

Stiles wanted to push but he knew Derek well enough to know that he wasn't going to talk. He was in 'shut down mode' as Stiles liked to call it. 

Stiles sighed as he climbed into his bed. He wished Derek was lying with him but that wasn't going to happen. 

Derek stared at the ceiling. The light was off, but it didn't hinder his eyesight at all. He tried to block out the smell of him on Stiles and the disappointment Stiles was feeling. 

Derek struggled with the other two scents, they smelled like guilt and perhaps fear? Derek couldn't understand why Stiles would feel guilty or afraid. Maybe he was afraid of Derek He'd officially caused Stiles to fear him. The one person that had never truly feared him, now did. The thought made Derek sick. The guilt Stiles felt, Derek couldn't figure out. What would cause Stiles to feel guilty? Or was he perhaps regretful and Derek was deciphering it wrong? That thought did nothing to subdue his nausea. Derek felt his wolf itching to comfort Stiles, but after earlier, he wasn't going to let his wolf anywhere near the hunter. It was too dangerous and Stiles was too important.


	51. Donna

Stiles woke up to find Derek's bag already packed and and a note on the notepad.

Went out -D

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Could you be any more vague?" 

Stiles threw on his clothes and packed his bag. Just as he was about to open the door, his phone rang.

"Hey, Sam." Stiles answered dropping his bag.

"Hey, we're down at the diner next door. Derek said you were asleep when he got up earlier, I figured, you'd want your coffee." Sam responded.

"Derek's there?" Stiles asked a bit surprised. 

"Yeah, we just got seated." 

"I'll be right there." Stiles hung up and grabbed his bag. 

He opened his trunk, and tossed in his and Derek's bag. He paused noticing the zipper was slightly opened on Derek's bag, and a small notebook with his name at the top caught his attention.

He pulled the spiral book from the leather bag. 

At the top was his name with a question mark next to it. He scanned over the page quickly.

Stiles?  
Mood✓  
Scent ✓  
Trigger✓  
Anchor✓  
Physical✓  
Emotional✓  
Uncontrollable ✓  
Mutual☓  
Dangerous 

Stiles stared at the page in confusion. What did it mean? Glancing behind him, he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of it, before closing it back into Derek's bag. 

Derek smelled him before he saw him. He smelled like Derek. The way their two scents smelled mixed together made Derek's wolf eager. Sleeping with Stiles had been a horrible idea, it only made things worse. He'd hoped that it would satiate his wolf but it only seemed to rile it up more. 

Stiles slid into the spot next to Sam much to Derek's relief. He didn't want to be any closer to Stiles than necessary. 

Derek immediately felt his wolf bristle at Stiles' mood. He was worried, hurt, confused, and mad. It took everything in him not to ask Stiles what was wrong. 

"Whoa, someone's in a mood." Sam frowned at his younger brother. 

"I'm fine." Stiles shook his head. Derek heard the lie clear as day. 

"What's wrong?" Dean frowned looking up from his menu.

"Just tired and ready to get a hold of that lance." Stiles lied again.

Derek fought to ignore the urge to say anything. 

"Hey, Derek, what's he smell like?" Dean asked glancing over Cas to the werewolf. 

Derek tensed. 

"Dean, no." Stiles huffed.

Derek met Stiles eyes briefly. 

"That means you're lying. What's wrong?" Dean pressed. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Sam asked concerned.

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well and today is gonna be a long day." Stiles groaned.

"Derek?" Dean huffed. 

Stiles looked up at Derek again.

"He just smells...anxious." Derek lied dropping his eyes to his menu. 

"If you're not up for-"

"You're not putting me on the sidelines." Stiles snapped.

Dean put his hands up in defense.  
"Whoa, okay." 

The table went quiet and remained that way through all of breakfast. 

Once everyone had finished eating Sam spoke up.

"Okay, so I've pinpointed the exact location of this place and did some digging. Apparently there is a saying around here about a lake that can't be found unless you know where it is. So I called a few local hunters and I found someone who knows where it is."

"Donna." Dean grinned knowing exactly who Sam was talking about.

"Man I haven't seen her in ages." Stiles noted.

"Yeah, we are gonna meet her in Renville. That's only about three hours away. The lake is there." Sam nodded.

"Alright, let's go." Dean clapped his hands causing Stiles to jump. 

Derek immediately frowned at the youngest Winchester. He looked troubled. 

"You sure you're okay?" Sam asked glancing down at his brother. 

"Yeah, just got a lot on my mind." Stiles nodded.

Sam didn't push it. Normally Sam would try and convince him to talk about his problems but he must have sensed Stiles' walls up, because he just nodded.

-

Stiles and Derek sat in silence on the way to meet Donna. Neither wanting to be the one to mention the awkward tension between them. 

Derek fell asleep an hour in, which gave Stiles time to think. What did that paper he'd found mean? He didn't understand what Derek was keeping up with exactly. And did he think Stiles was dangerous? Was it cause he was a hunter? None of it made sense to him, and it was driving him crazy.

Stiles pulled in next to the impala. He put the car in park which caused Derek to wake up. 

"Stiles, is that you? You sure did grow up didn'tcha?" Donna grinned pulling Stiles into a hug.

"Hey, Donna, you're still beautiful as ever." Stiles smiled. 

"Oh you." Donna grinned.

"This must be the famous wolf I've heard so much about." Donna said turning to Derek.

"Derek Hale." Derek extended a hand.

"Oh I know who you are." Donna grinned, ignoring his hand and pulling him into a hug. 

Derek tensed but gave a small hug back.

"You know who I am?" Derek frowned as the blonde pulled away. 

"You betcha. You're the talk of the town. The werewolf in good with the Winchesters." Donna nodded.

"The Winchesters are kind of celebrities in the hunting world, you won't meet a hunter alive who hasn't heard of 'em." Donna gushed.

"Guess I should consider myself lucky." Derek smiled. 

"I know I do. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for these three. They saved my hide a time or two." Donna grinned at the three brothers.

"Say Donna, is this a new truck?" Dean asked inspecting the black dodge. 

"Dern tootin'. I loved my old one but one day she just went ka-put and I never could get her started again. So this here is my new steed." 

"It's nice. Good for you, Donna." Dean put an arm around her shoulders. 

"You been doin' okay?" Dean asked gently. 

"Oh sure. Nottin' I can't handle. I've been dumped before." Donna waved a dismissive hand. 

"Well, their all idiots." Stiles winked at the blonde.

"You boys sure are a sight for sore eyes. Now tell me, what's broughtcha up this way and gotcha lookin' for this here lake?" 

"We're looking for a house that's next to it." Sam answered.

"You mean the old Hjalmar house? It's tucked back away's butcha can't miss it. There's every warning sign ever made covering the border of the property. It's said there's an old man who lives there and is agoraphobic. Whatcha want with him?" Donna frowned. 

"He may be guarding a weapon that can kill a prince of hell." Dean answered. 

"Get outta town. Right here in little ol' Renville?" Donna asked in disbelief.

"We think the lance of Michael is being kept there." Stiles answered. 

"You five okay to handle this or do I need to come with? I don't know the first thing about fighting no prince of hell, but if you need me, I'm there." 

"No, we've got this. If you can just get us to this lake." Sam smiled fondly. 

"You betcha." Donna agreed.

"Thank you." Dean smiled.

"Oh, anything for you boys." Donna gushed. 

Stiles smiled, he liked Donna. She was the sheriff of a case they worked several years back. They ran into her a few more times until she discovered the life of hunting. She's been a hunter ever since. While running the sheriff station back in Sweetwater. Dean taught her everything she knows about hunting. Stiles had always gotten along with her. It was nice to see an old friendly face. It distracted him from the stress of Derek.


	52. Lance of Michael

Derek felt Stiles' tension growing as they walked through the woods. They were just on the edge of the Hjalmar property heading for the barn. It was completely dark. Derek watched Stiles navigate through the trees and branches effortlessly. It was so different from Stiles back in Beacon Hills. He'd thought Stiles' clumsiness to be endearing. But now watching the hunter gracefully avoid briars and roots, he felt a new warmth, a sense of pride. 

Derek let out a sigh before grabbing Stiles' arm, stopping him mid step.

Stiles looked back at Derek to see concern embedded into his features. 

Neither spoke nor moved. 

Finally Derek forced himself to release Stiles' arm.

"You're tension is driving my wolf insane." Derek intended for his tone to remain even, but a hint of desperation clung to his words.

Stiles frowned. "Why?" 

Derek was taken back by the question. It was spoken with genuine concern. No anger, or sadness. No frustration, or annoyance.  

"Because I'm your alpha, it's my job to keep you safe and calm. The more tension or anxiety you feel, the more I feel the need to be there for you." Derek answered honestly. 

"Derek, if you weren't my alpha, would you even care about me?" Stiles asked his tone harsh but pained.

Derek felt his stomach twist at the underlining accusation.

"Stiles, of course I would." Derek went to reach for Stiles, but he stepped back out of Derek's reach. 

"Maybe I don't need an alpha..." 

The twisting in Derek's stomach became nausea. Was Stiles rejecting him? 

"Stiles." Derek's voice cracked. 

"Let's just get this Lance." Stiles huffed turning away. 

"Stiles, wait, what did you mean by that?" Derek asked worriedly as he followed after Stiles. 

"Can we not do this now?" Stiles huffed.

Derek wanted to respond but his ears perked at the sound of Sam's voice.

"Derek, we're inside, there's no one home we're going for the basement. Let us know if you hear anyone coming." 

"What is it?" Stiles asked noticing Derek's concentration. 

"They're inside, no one's home. Let's do this fast." Derek answered stepping out of the woods.

The two were about thirty feet from an old barn. Despite it's peeling paint and warped beams, the barn stood strong. 

"It's pad locked." Stiles sighed as he tugged at the unmoving chain. 

Derek grabbed the lock and yanked, snapping the large metal chain effortlessly. 

Stiles fought back the urge to make a comment about Derek being a show off.

The two slid inside the doors to see bales of hay, and yard tools propped against the walls. 

"Well this is underwhelming," Stiles muttered as he walked deeper into the musty building.

"What did you expect, a room full of treasure chests?" Derek snapped. He was suddenly extremely irritated. Perhaps it was the fact that he was pretty sure Stiles was rejecting him as his alpha.

"No, but I was expecting more than a bunch of rotting hay bales," Stiles snapped back. 

Derek clenched his jaw. He just wanted to get the lance and get out of there. He needed to talk to Stiles and now wasn't the time. 

Stiles walked through the barn peeking into a few empty stalls. 

"There's nothing here." Stiles huffed in frustration. 

"Someone's coming." Derek snapped grabbing Stiles and pulling him into a door to his left. 

It was an old storage room. Stiles and Derek barely fit. Derek still had his arm wrapped around Stiles' waist. The two were face to face. 

Derek looked down at Stiles. He looked troubled. His eyes were clouded, and his brows drawn into a tight frown. 

Derek fought the urge to kiss the hunter. He still smelled like Derek, It did nothing to keep his wolf at bay. 

A loud bang sounded from within the barn causing Stiles to jump a bit. Derek instinctually gripped Stiles tighter. 

Stiles' heart was pounding hard. It was all he could do not to bury his face into Derek's chest. Something about the way Derek held him made Stiles want to melt. He felt safe and content. But it made him nervous, being this close to Derek was getting difficult. The whole ride here Stiles thought about the night before. He thought of the way Derek made him feel; The worry when he'd disappeared, the concern when he'd kept his distance, the hurt when he avoided him, and the confusion when Stiles had found the notebook.  

Stiles felt himself frowning at the memories. Derek must have sensed Stiles' mood cause he started to gently run his thumb along Stiles waist as he held him. He hoped Derek assumed Stiles' nerves was due to the noise in the barn and not the fact that he was in the alpha's arms. 

The sound of a stall door opening close to the closet they were in, made Stiles tense. Derek gently maneuvered Stiles so if the door opened Derek could put himself between him and the threat.

Suddenly Cas' voice was heard.

"Stiles, Derek, are you in he-" Cas cut himself off. 

"Castiel, I thought that you might be behind this. You broke into my barn, I'd like to know why."

Stiles recognized the voice as Ramiel's. It was threatening and sharp. 

Stiles went to open the door but Derek grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

Stiles went to object but the werewolf put a finger to his lips to signal him to stay quiet. 

Stiles glared before going to reach for the door again. 

Suddenly Derek's lips were pressed against Stiles' ear.

"Not yet," Derek whispered so quietly Stiles almost didn't hear. "Let Cas try to get information out of him first. He doesn't feel threatened yet," Derek explained just as quietly. 

Stiles frowned but made no move to open the door. 

"Your barn? We heard this property belonged to an old man who never left his house," Cas spoke calmly. 

"Then why are you breaking in?" Ramiel asked accusingly.

"I suspect you already know the answer to that," Cas was stalling. 

"You know, I shouldn't be surprised you're here, and I'm guessing since you are, then the Winchesters are as well. I will take solitude it knowing that the only thing they will find is your mangled corpse," Ramiel sneered tauntingly. 

Stiles lifted his hand for the handle once more, only to be stopped by Derek a third time. 

Stiles was getting impatient and Cas was in danger. 

"I think it'll be even better when they see you were killed by the weapon they were looking for. Don't you agree?" Ramiel continued to taunt Cas.

"That's it," Cas gasped. "the lance of Michael."

"Yes, such beautiful craftsmanship, it's where the magic is kept."

Derek reached for the door then, throwing it open.

Ramiel turned to see Derek and Stiles. 

Cas took the opportunity to lung at the prince of hell in hopes of knocking the lance from his grasp. 

Ramiel saw Cas' advance and thrust the spear forward embedding the tip into the angel's chest. 

"Cas," Stiles called out as he ran towards the heap on the barn floor.

"Ah, Stiles, and his pet wolf." Ramiel grinned devilishly at Derek.

"Cas, are you okay? Can you heal yourself?" Stiles asked pulling Cas back away from the yellow eyed demon.

"I-I don't know." Cas gasped for air. 

"Cas," Stiles' voice was suddenly more concerned. "you're skin..."

Cas looked down to see his skin cracking like a broken vase.

"I can't heal, I think it poisoned me," Cas spoke weakly as he touched the graying flesh.

Stiles turned to see Ramiel thrust the spear towards Derek. An overwhelming rage filled the youngest Winchester. He pulled his angel blade out and threw it into Ramiel's side. He knew it wouldn't kill him, but it would distract him momentarily. 

Stiles pulled his other blade out and lunged at the demon. He embedded his blade into the middle of Ramiel's spine. 

The act gave Derek a chance to snatch the lance and stab it into the prince's chest. 

Suddenly Ramiel burst into a bright light which turned into a puff of smoke. 

The lance fell to the barn floor with a loud clang. 

"He's gone, you killed Ramiel," Stiles gaped at the fallen spear. 

"Cas, where's Sam and Dean?" Derek asked rushing to the angel's side. 

"Demons, at the house," Cas panted. He was pale and the cracks were spreading.

Derek pulled his phone out to call Dean.

"Is there a cure? There has to be a way to stop this," Stiles frowned opening Cas' shirt to examine the wound closer.

"I don't know," Cas shook his head gently.

"Sam and Dean are on their way," Derek said gripping Cas' hand. 

Stiles could see the black veins spreading under the alpha's skin as he pulled Cas' pain.

Cas relaxed slightly. 

Stiles worried his bottom lip as he watched the veins continue. 

"They're not stopping," Stiles noted.

"It's because it's killing him, as long as it continues to poison him, it'll continue to hurt him," Derek answered not letting go of the angel.

"Stiles?" Sam called as he stepped into the barn.

"Sam, Dean," Stiles jumped to his feet. 

"Cas," Dean dropped to Cas' side as he reached them.

"Dean, he's gone, Derek killed Ramiel," Cas spoke with a struggled smile.

"Why aren't you able to heal yourself?" Dean asked worriedly.

"Ramiel got him with the lance, it's poisoning him," Derek answered. 

"What can we do?" Dean asked grabbing Cas' other hand.

"Dean, it's okay, it's over, Ramiel is dead. That's all that matters. Lucifer isn't getting out of his cage," Cas spoke quietly.

"No, it's not okay," Dean disagreed, shaking his head. He couldn't lose Cas, not when he was finally his.

"Dean, I love you," Cas squeezed Dean's hand weakly. 

"No. Damn it Cas, we can fix this," Dean swore in frustration. 

"Dean-"

"No, I can't lose you," Dean cut in. He refused to believe that Cas was going to die. He couldn't believe it.

Sam stepped forward then, putting his phone away, "I called Gabriel, he said there was a myth that said you had to destroy the magic to undo its effects, of course that doesn't apply to death."

"How do we do that?" Dean asked looking up at his brother. 

"He didn't know," Sam shook his head.

"Wait, Ramiel said something about the magic," Stiles spoke up. "he said the magic was in the craftsmanship." 

Derek grabbed the lance from where it had fallen. He examined the spear and then the long wooden handle. He gripped it tightly before snapping the handle in two. 

Instantly, Cas healed. 

"Derek, you did it," Sam exclaimed. 

Dean pulled Cas into him desperately.

"Dean, I'm oka-" 

Suddenly Dean's lips were on Cas'. 

"Don't ever do that again," Dean ordered once he'd pulled back. 

Cas leaned his head against Dean's, "I love you, Dean." 

"I love you too, Cas, so much." 

Derek glanced at Stiles with an aching in his chest. He'd love nothing more than to be able to say the same thing to Stiles, but he knew he couldn't, Stiles wasn't his to love.


	53. Reject me

Derek ignored the awkward tension between him and Stiles as long as he could stand it.

"I have to know what you meant," Derek blurted looking over at Stiles.

Stiles pulled his eyes away from the road briefly. He gave Derek a confused frown, "what are you talking about?" 

The two had been in the car barely an hour. Their destination was a little over two hours away, but Derek couldn't wait that long. 

"You said, maybe you didn't need an alpha, what did you mean by that?" Derek clarified. 

Stiles let out a sigh. He didn't want to do this right now. 

"Derek, can we do this later?" Stiles asked.

"No, I want to do this now," Derek snapped. 

There was a moment of hesitation before Stiles responded, "I just think you only care about me because you're my alpha. You obviously regret last night, and you can barely stand to be around me. I'm sorry that I pushed you into doing that. I-"

"Hold on," Derek cut in. "you didn't push me into anything, I wanted to. Also, I don't regret being with you; I regret almost marking you. It was stupid of me to think I could trust my wolf. And I don't know why you think I can't stand to be around you. I love being around you, I just feel guilty. I know we shouldn't have done that last night but..." 

Derek looked at Stiles with a sad frown, "you are so tempting. Now that I've had a taste, I...I can't stop thinking about it. The way you felt under me, the way you said my name, the way your scent mixed with mine..."

The silence that fell over the car was deafening. Stiles didn't know how to respond, and Derek didn't offer any more. 

Stiles considered asking about the notebook he'd found but he didn't want to be trapped in a car for another hour when Derek admitted he didn't want to be around Stiles. What else could that have meant? Stiles had briefly tossed around the idea that he was Derek's mate, but that had been cast aside when Derek admitted he didn't want to mark Stiles. 

Derek smelled Stiles' frustration and doubt. He didn't believe Derek. 

"Please don't reject me," Derek begged quietly. 

Stiles clenched the steering wheel. He remembered Derek telling him how painful it was to be rejected by a pack member. 

"Derek, I'm not one of your beta's. You shouldn't care if I reject you or not," Stiles sighed.

Derek whipped his head towards Stiles, "you are more than some beta. You have always been a part of my pack, since the day I became an alpha I've felt that way. Even though Scott quickly took my place as alpha, I still thought of you as a pack member. Of course I'm gonna care if you reject me." 

"See, that's what I mean. If you weren't an alpha, I don't think you would care about me the way you do,"  Stiles explained.

"Stiles, that's ridiculous, of course I would. I care about you as more than just a pack member. You're my friend, my family," Derek felt his wolf growing uncomfortable.

"I doubt friends or family end up being triggers," Stiles countered.

Derek tensed. He was right. Friends and family weren't ever a trigger, only enemies or unrequited mates. 

"Your stunning silence is very reassuring," Stiles snorted.

"Stiles-"

"Just, don't, please," Stiles really didn't want to have this conversation anymore. 

"I-"

"Derek, it has been a long day, can we please not do this right now," Stiles cut in again.

Derek clenched his jaw but didn't push it. He wouldn't be able to convince Stiles that he really was family, and a dear friend. He couldn't convince him that Stiles being his trigger wasn't a negative thing. Everything about a trigger was negative, and telling Stiles he was a trigger because he was his mate just wasn't an option. 

 

-

 

Stiles stepped out of the car, glad to escape the awkward silence he'd been forced to endure for the past hour and a half.

He walked up the familiar steps of Jodie Mills' house. She had been the closest thing to a mother Stiles had ever experienced. He was eager to see her. 

The door swung open and he was greeted with a large smile. 

The sheriff of Sioux falls south Dakota, had been a victim of a case the Winchesters worked several years back. She had lost her husband and her five year old son due to a supernatural breakout. Sam, Dean, and Stiles helped her through it. She grew to be close with the Winchesters and did her own hunting when necessary. 

"Look at you four," Jodie grinned pulling Sam and Dean into a hug before pulling Stiles and Cas in. 

"You must be Derek," Jodie turned to the alpha. 

"Sheriff Mills I presume." Derek stuck his hand out. Jodie took it much to Derek's relief. He had been worried she'd force a hug out of him like Donna had. 

"Call me Jodie."

Derek gave a small nod before following the Winchesters inside.

"He's a good looking guy, you did good," Jodie winked at Stiles as she closed the front door.

"Wait, what?" Stiles frowned in confusion.

"You and Derek," Jodie gestured between the youngest Winchester and the werewolf. 

"We're not together," Stiles shook his head, still frowning. 

Jodie looked over at Dean with a questioning look. 

"I assumed they'd have gotten together by now. They're made for each other," Dean shrugged as he put emphasis on the word 'made', giving Derek a knowing glance. 

"Dean," Stiles sighed. "would you let it go already? Derek and I aren't getting together." 

Derek remained silent. He feared if he said something, Dean would tell Stiles he was Derek's mate. 

"Why not?" Dean pressed.

"That's not the type of relationship we have," Stiles snapped. 

"Dean," Cas touched Dean's arm gently before Dean could respond. 

"Well in that case, when are you gonna date someone? Dean and Sam have been locked down. It's your turn," Jodie asked looking back at Stiles. 

"Sam hasn't been locked down...yet," Dean nudged his brother playfully. 

Sam cleared his throat, giving Dean a forced smile. 

"You and Gabriel decided not to give things a try?" Jodie asked in a concerned tone. 

"Umm..." Sam looked uncomfortable.

"I thought the date went well?" Stiles frowned at the middle Winchester.

"What?" Sam snapped his head towards Stiles.

"You went on a date with Gabriel?" Dean asked in shock.

"How did you know?" Sam frowned at his younger brother.

"Oh, Derek heard you guys talking afterwards the other night." Stiles shrugged glancing at Derek.

"So you two are giving it a shot?" Jodie clarified.

"Uh, yeah, we are," Sam nodded still looking uncomfortable.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Dean scoffed.

"It's been three days," Sam sighed.

"So Sam and Gabriel are dating, Dean and Cas are dating, and Stiles and Derek are not dating," Jodie said mostly to herself.

"Apparently." Dean nodded.

"I will say, I want to be surprised you're the single one but I'm just not," Jodie put her arm around Stiles.

"You're not?" Stiles asked, confused. 

"I think you're a lot more distrusting and jaded than you let on. You let your brothers' experiences effect how you view things. Hence why you're still single," Jodie gave Stiles a small squeeze. 

Stiles didn't respond, he didn't know how.

"Now, why don't you boys get cleaned up while I finish dinner."


	54. So am I

Stiles paced the room, trying to decide how to talk to Derek. He knew that if he wasn't careful Derek would shut down and possibly take off on him. He didn't know if Derek just didn't want Stiles to be his mate, or if he was worried Stiles didn't want to be his mate, or maybe it was just Derek's wolf that had feelings for Stiles. He didn't know much about mates but he was sure that it was primarily a wolf thing, so perhaps Derek only saw Stiles attractive in a physical way. 

Before Stiles could come up with a logical explanation there was a knock on the door followed by Derek poking his head in.

"Stiles, we need to talk," Derek's tone was tense.

"Look, I know that sounded bad, I just don't know what is going on with us," Stiles sighed knowing where Derek was going with this.

"Me either," Derek slumped his shoulders.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Stiles crossed his arms. He was frustrated with Derek. Why couldn't Derek just be honest with him? It wasn't fair for Stiles to have to guess Derek's mood and motives when Derek could literally sense everything Stiles was feeling.

"Why not?" Derek frowned.

"You once told me I could tell you anything. I told you you could tell me anything. I've always told you what you wanted to know but you just avoid any topic you're uncomfortable with. You know everything I'm feeling, all the time. I am literally guessing when it comes to you. I ask, that for once, you would just talk to me," Stiles practically begged.

"I do talk to you, Stiles," Derek argued.

"Then tell me why you have been avoiding me since last night. Tell me why you did it if you were going to regret it. Tell me why you regret it."

Derek sighed, "Stiles, I told you I didn't want to mark you. I was careless, I shouldn't have put you in that position. I almost did something that you wouldn't be able to forgive me for."

Stiles clenched his jaw. He wanted Derek to be honest with him, but he just wouldn't.

"Do you trust me?" Stiles asked taking a few steps towards Derek.

"Of course," Derek answered not looking away from Stiles caramel brown eyes.

"Then tell me the truth," Stiles pleaded.

"I am," Derek frowned.

"Damn it, Derek," Stiles swore, "I can't keep doing this with you. What are you afraid of? Rejection? Admitting it? Needing someone other than yourself? What is it?" 

Derek's brows furrowed together even more, "What are you talking about, Stiles?"

"Do you love me?" Stiles asked suddenly.

Derek tensed.

Stiles saw Derek's walls starting to build back up.

"Don't shut down. Please, just talk to me," Stiles reached for Derek's arm.

"Is this your way of telling me last night wasn't meaningless to you?" Derek felt panic building in his chest. If Stiles admitted to having feelings for Derek he feared his wolf would be uncontrollable. 

"Was it to you?" Stiles countered.

Derek looked at Stiles carefully. He smelled only of frustration and impatience, neither gave away what Stiles' feelings on last night were.

Derek's silence only frustrated Stiles more.

"Damn it, Derek, just be honest with me," Stiles snapped throwing his hands up in frustration.

"What do you want me to say Stiles? If I say it did mean something then that makes things awkward, If I say it didn't mean something then I upset you. You want me to be honest with you, but you won't like what you hear," Derek growled in frustration.

Derek's answer did nothing to help Stiles' confusion. Stiles decided if he wanted an answer he would have to force it out of the stubborn alpha.

Derek sensed Stiles scent change but before he could place the emotion Stiles' lips were on his.

 

Stiles' hands were gripping Derek's face. 

Derek's own hands instinctively wrapped around Stiles' waist. 

Stiles took it as an invitation to press himself against the werewolf. 

Derek growled quietly as Stiles' body melded to his. The kiss grew heated and Stiles' hands found their way to Derek's hair. 

Derek felt his wolf pushing through. 

"Stiles," Derek spoke into the kiss.

"Hmm?" Stiles hummed sliding one hand up Derek's shirt, gripping the alpha's back muscles.

"My wolf...I'm shifting," Derek panted against Stiles' lips.

"Don't care." Stiles mumbled as he pushed into Derek harder causing the werewolf to step back a bit from the force.

"I could hurt you." Derek said pulling away from the kiss a bit.

"I trust you," Stiles reconnected their lips before Derek could argue.

Derek thought about the last time Stiles had told Derek he trusted him, Derek had almost marked him. The reminder made Derek push Stiles back.

"Stiles, we can't do this." 

Stiles hands fell from Derek as the alpha stepped further back.

"I'm gonna ask you something, Derek, and I need you to be completely honest with me." 

Derek tensed as he smelled determination and anxiety coming off of Stiles, 

"Don't do this..." Derek pleaded quietly. Whatever Stiles was about to ask was going to change their relationship, he just knew it.

"I have to know," Stiles dropped his eyes to the ground. "Is your wolf the only one in love with me?" 

Derek frowned slightly, "w-what?"

"Your wolf is in love with me because I'm your mate, but you're not in love with me at all are you?" Stiles watched carefully as Derek processed what Stiles had just said. 

Derek's jaw dropped. He knew? How long had he known? Who had told him? Had anyone even told him or had he figured it out? Of course he figured it out, it was Stiles. How did he feel about it? He wasn't giving off an obvious scent other than frustration, with a hint of anxiety.

"You...when..." Derek struggled to form a sentence. 

"I found your notebook this morning. That's why I'm your trigger cause your wolf wants me," Stiles waited for Derek to say something.

"I'm sorry." 

Stiles frowned. Why was Derek apologizing?

"You can't help it," Stiles Shrugged. "What I don't understand is why you stayed. I tried to make you leave, you could have been free of me, so why stay?" 

Derek frowned sadly at the hunter, "I never want to be 'free of you', I care about you too much. And not just because you're...my mate," Derek spoke the last two words quietly, as if he didn't want Stiles to hear.

"Right, because you're my alpha," Stiles rolled his eyes. He felt uncomfortable suddenly. Derek had never denied his wolf being the only part of him that was in love with Stiles. 

"No, not because I'm your alpha," Derek disagreed, speaking quietly again. His eyes dropped to the floor.

"Then why?" Stiles cocked his head slightly. 

Derek looked back up his sage green eyes meeting Stiles' whiskey brown. 

"You're gonna hate me for this, but you already know half of it..." Derek sighed, taking a single step towards Stiles, "Yes, my wolf is in love with you, and so am I."


	55. I'm already yours

All words escaped Stiles at the sound of Derek's confession. Derek was in love with him. 

"Stiles, please say something," Derek swallowed hard. Stiles only smelled of shock, and his silence terrified Derek, "This is why I wanted to leave before, I knew my feelings for you were still there and I couldn't bare the rejection."

Stiles frowned.

"Yes, I had feelings for you back in Beacon Hills, that's why I left," Derek sighed, knowing what Stiles was thinking.

Stiles opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't form a clear thought much less a sentence. He'd wanted to know the truth but he hadn't been prepared for what Derek had just admitted. Before hand the idea elated Stiles, but now, now he felt terrified. He knew he had feelings for Derek, but the alpha had been in love with him for so long, was Stiles able to commit to being Derek's mate? And what if something happened to Derek, could Stiles handle losing a lover? 

Derek must have smelled Stiles' panic because he took a concerned step towards him.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I'm prepared to ignore every feeling I have towards you if it means I won't lose you. I don't want you to think you have to feel anything in return, I just beg that you don't let this change our relationship; I'm still your alpha, and you're still my best friend," Derek touched Stiles' cheek gently with the tips of his fingers.

Stiles stepped away from Derek's touch hesitantly. 

"I need air," Stiles whispered stepping by Derek. 

Derek's hand dropped back to his side in disappointment. He clenched his jaw. Stiles hadn't rejected him verbally so he was able to keep his wolf at bay. However, he was worried. What if Stiles decided he couldn't be around Derek? Or what if Stiles didn't love him the way Jodie and Dean thought. 

Derek felt an aching in his chest. He shouldn't have told Stiles.

-

Derek paced the living room anxiously. Stiles had been gone for three hours and Derek was worried sick. 

"I just got a call from one of my deputies, Stiles is in fact at Bobby's old place, just like I though he'd be," Jodie spoke walking into the room.

"He just needs time," Sam assured the alpha.

"I should just leave," Derek said suddenly, stopping mid pace. 

"Derek, you can't do that, you promised," Cas spoke up.

"He probably would prefer if I left. I don't have anyone hunting me, I'll be fine. That's what I'll do," Derek nodded as he made his way down the hall to where his bag was.

"Derek, you can't do that to Stiles," Sam went after Derek.

"I don't have a choice. I can't let him feel obligated," Derek shook his head as he grabbed his bag.

"How would you feel if he bailed on you?" Sam asked, trying to convince Derek to stay.

Derek walked into the living room with Sam on his heels. 

Jodie cut him off on his way to the door. Before Derek could say anything, she blew a cloud of purple dust into Derek's face causing the werewolf to fall unconcious.

"Wolfsbane, nice," Sam chuckled, that would put him out for several hours at least.

"Dean, help your brother get him to bed." Jodie ordered gesturing towards a limp Derek slumped in Sam's outstretched arms.

-

Stiles pulled back into Jodie's driveway several hours later. He hoped everyone would be asleep. Unfortunately for him, Cas didn't sleep so of course he was met in the living room by the fallen angel. 

"Cas," Stiles gave a curt nod hoping to slip by without having to talk about what had happened. He was sure Derek had told the others.

"Stiles, are you alright?" Cas asked causing the youngest Winchester to stop mid step.

He turned to face the angel who was tangled in what looked to be... yarn?

"I'm fine, Cas...are you?" Stiles frowned at the mess on Cas' lap.

"Jodie was teaching me how to knit," Cas answered holding up a two knitting needles and a patch of uneven yarn.

"Right," Stiles chuckled shaking his head.

"Just a word of warning, Dean is not happy with you. He asked that I wake him upon your return."

Stiles let out a sigh. He knew Dean must really be pissed if he asked Cas to wake him.

"I'm assuming Derek told you what happened?" Stiles asked though he already knew.

"He didn't have to," A voice spoke up from behind the hunter.

Stiles knew that voice and even more so that tone.

"Dean, listen, I know what you're thinking but you don't understand-"

"Don't tell me I don't understand, I full well understand. You're scared. But you can't let that control you," Dean cut off his brother.

"Says the man who has spent his whole life pushing people away because he was scared. The only reason you gave Cas a chance was because he's an angel and they're not exactly easily killed," Stiles snapped

"Stiles, that's not true," Dean spoke between grit teeth.

"Yes it is. You and Sam are in love with literal angels. I'm in love with a werewolf, one who I've almost lost more times than I can count. I couldn't bare to lose him now much less if I allowed myself to be with him. We're dangerous. I never should have let him stay. Just by knowing me, his life was put in danger. I can't escape it," Stiles' voice was full of hurt.

 

 

Damon listened as Stiles admitted to being in love with him. He felt his heart race and his wolf preen at the confession. Knowing Stiles felt the same way he did was a relief even though it was clear Stiles didn't want to be with him. He understood the hesitation. He would be the same way if his wolf wasn't so desperate to mark the hunter.

 

Derek was pulled from his thoughts when the door to the bedroom creaked open slowly. He sat up cautiously.

"Oh, you're awake," Stiles shifted nervously. He closed the door behind him, but made no move to approach Derek.

"I'm sorry," Derek said not taking his eyes off the Winchester, "I shouldn't have said anything.

"No, that's not- I asked for the truth. I just wasn't expecting that to be..." Stiles shifted again as he bit his lower lip.

"I understand," Derek spoke, his voice quieter than before.

"You heard me talking to Dean," Stiles said suddenly, realization washing over him.

"I told you before, I'm prepared to ignore every feeling I have towards you if it means I don't lose you." Derek repeated his earlier statement.

"You aren't going to lose me, Der," Stiles sighed taking a step towards the alpha.

Derek felt his wolf relax at the statement. He himself smirked a bit at the nickname, he loved when Stiles used it.

"I just...I don't know if...I can..." Stiles ran a hand through his tousled brown hair.

"You don't have to. I just wanted you to know that I could never regret being with you like I was last night. I just regret that I wasn't in better control of my wolf. I've never...been near...a mate before. I hoped that last night would have satiate my wolf, but it only made me almost do something we'd both regret," Derek dropped his head.

"Would you truly have regretted it? Marking me?" Stiles asked curiosity clear in his tone.

Derek looked up at Stiles. He wasn't sure what he was asking exactly, so he decided to be honest, "I wouldn't regret marking you, I would regret doing something you didn't want."

Stiles dropped his eyes to his feet, "I want you Derek, but...I'm just..."

"Scared, I know." Derek Stood from the bed finally. He had forced himself to remain in the bed, not wanting to make Stiles nervous, but his wolf was itching to comfort it's mate and it was killing him.

"I'm sorry," Stiles sighed heavily. 

"Don't be," Derek took a step towards Stiles, cautiously.

"May I?" Derek took another step towards Stiles.

Stiles without responding threw himself into Derek. 

The alpha gripped Stiles tightly. His wolf relaxed at the contact, "I promise I'll never do anything you don't want and I never want you to feel obligated, ever. I'd rather have you as my best friend than not at all. And if you ever decide you want me, just remember, I'm already yours."


	56. Officially

Derek dropped his bag on his bed. It had been a long drive back to the bunker from Jodie's. He and Stiles hadn't spoken about the night before, though it was obvious they both wanted to. 

"Derek," Dean's voice spoke from the doorway.

"Hey, Dean," Derek gestured for the oldest Winchester to come in.

"Stiles is helping Sam and Cas with something in the library so I thought I might talk to you for a sec," Dean sat on Derek's bed gingerly.

"Sure," Derek nodded as he unpacked his bag.

"You and Stiles..." Dean paused, as if he was trying to think of the best way to phrase what he was about to say.

"Are just friends. We agreed not to let this change anything," Derek spoke before Dean could finish his thought.

"But-"

"No, Dean. Stiles doesn't want to be with me," Derek shook his head. It hurt to say, though he knew Stiles loved him too. 

"That's just it, he does, he's just-"

"Scared, I know, and rightfully so," Derek cut in.

"You're really gonna give up on him because he's afraid to lose you?" Dean scoffed. What a ridiculous notion. 

"I'll never give up on Stiles, he's my everything, which is why I'm going to respect his decision to remain friends. He knows if he ever changes his mind, I'm right here."

Dean looked at Derek with a slight smile, "You know I never imagined I'd be rooting for a werewolf to date my youngest brother, but I couldn't imagine anyone else who would be better suited. I truly hope he comes to his senses, you're easily the best thing to ever happen to him. You make him happy in ways I've never seen before. I know you won't hurt him, however..." Dean let out a sigh as he stood, "I am sorry he's hurting you." 

Derek dropped his eyes to the floor, "He's only doing what is best for him, I can't fault him for that. While it may hurt knowing he will never truly be mine, I'd rather have him this way than not at all."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip as he listened to Derek and Dean talk. It killed Stiles, knowing he was hurting Derek by not being with him. Derek obviously loved Stiles to the point he'd do anything for him; so why wouldn't Stiles do the same? Simply for the fact that he was afraid to lose Derek?

A comment Sam had said earlier, in the library popped into Stiles' head. 'You love him whether you're with him or not and if you ever lost him it would still hurt the same'. If Stiles ever lost Derek, would he regret not being with him? 

-

Derek was about to climb into bed when he heard a knock.

"Yeah?" Derek answered turning to the door to see Stiles slip into the room wearing nothing but boxers, much like Derek himself. His heart rate was quick and he smelled nervous.

"Stiles, are you oka-" 

Before Derek could finish his sentence Stiles' lips were on his. The kiss was rushed and eager. Derek kissed back just as eagerly. 

Their hands roamed each other's bodies hungrily. Stiles pressed himself against Derek allowing the alpha to feel his excitement. 

Derek let out a low growl in the back of his throat as he gripped Stiles' hips, holding him close. 

Stiles slid his hands down Derek's bare sides and to the hem of his underwear. He hooked a finger on either side, but before he could drop them, Derek's hands stopped his, and the alpha pulled away.

"Stiles, we can't, I can't, I'm sorry," Derek shook his head sadly as he went to step back further from the hunter. 

Stiles grabbed Derek's hands and pulled, forcing the werewolf to his chest, "Derek, I can't stay away from you, I've been thinking all day about you and I..." Stiles paused, "I love you, Derek, I want to be yours." 

Derek felt his heart skip and his eyes flash, "Stiles, what are you saying?" Derek asked, his tone hopeful. 

"I'm saying, I wanna belong to you. I wanna be claimed by my alpha," Stiles answered, his eyes dropping to Derek's lips. 

Suddenly Stiles was against the nearest wall, his legs around Derek's waist, his lips locked with his alpha's. 

Stiles pulled back slightly causing Derek's lips to press against his jaw. He tilted back, baring his throat. 

A seductive growl sounded from Derek's chest as he nosed Stiles' pulse point.

"Der," Stiles hummed. 

Derek so badly wanted to claim Stiles right then and there but he also wanted to enjoy the moment. He wrapped his arm around Stiles and quickly turned and laid him gently on the bed. 

"Are you sure about this?" Derek asked looking carefully into Stiles' caramel eyes. 

"I'm sure about us," Stiles answered placing a sweet kiss on Derek's lips. 

Derek didn't respond as he pulled Stiles' underwear off. He ran his hands up Stiles' thighs slowly before stopping just before he reached Stiles' already leaking cock. 

He dipped his head down running his tongue up Stiles' length, teasingly.

"Fuck," Stiles swore bucking his hips a bit. 

Derek took the opportunity to slid his hands under Stiles' ass cheeks. He gently spread them as he lifted Stiles up slightly. He licked slowly around Stiles' hole, teasing the hunter. He then pressed his tongue flat on the rim, sliding up agonizingly slow. 

Stiles tried to wiggle, but Derek's grip prevented it. 

Another lick had Stiles moaning. As Derek continued to lap at Stiles' entrance, he slid his own underwear off. 

"I wanna taste you," Stiles begged. 

Derek obliged releasing the Winchester. 

Stiles pushed Derek back onto the bed impatiently. He licked his lips before taking Derek into his mouth slowly. 

Derek closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling. 

Stiles rolled his tongue around Derek, bobbing slowly up and then all the way back down.

"Fuuuck," Derek growled throwing his head back. 

 

His breaths were short and labored due to the sensation when suddenly it was gone.

Before Derek could object Stiles was lowering himself onto Derek, gently.

Derek squeezed Stiles' thighs taking some of the obvious pain. That allowed Stiles to drop all the way down with ease.

"Oh, fuck, Der, I love the way you fill me up."

Derek's eyes flashed in response. 

Stiles bounced a few times before connecting their lips. He then began to slam down on Derek harshly, earning an appreciative whine from the werewolf. 

Just as Stiles was starting to speed up Derek flipped them, taking over. He thrust into Stiles roughly.

"Fuck me, Derek, yes," Stiles moaned. He tilted his head baring his throat wantonly. 

Derek's eyes were bright red. He attached his lips to Stiles' neck. 

It was obvious Derek was hesitant so Stiles gripped his back and whispered in Derek's ear, "Mark me, alpha."

Derek, unable to help himself latched down onto Stiles' neck. 

Stiles felt weightless, all except for the pressure building rapidly in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly the pressure exploded sending him into an intense orgasm that had him yelling Derek's name. 

Derek's own senses were overwhelmed, the satisfaction of claiming Stiles, was better than he ever could have imagined. 

"I'm officially yours, baby," Stiles panted in Derek's ear.

That was all it took to send Derek over the edge.

"Oh, Stiles," Derek came loudly. He licked at Stiles' bite wound as he rode out the last of his orgasm. 

"Officially mine," Derek nuzzled Stiles' cheek. 

"Officially," Stiles grinned before pulling Derek into a sweet kiss.


	57. Marked

Dean woke up and rolled over to see Cas next to him, "what are you doing?" Dean asked groggily. 

"Laying with you," Cas answered with a frown. It was obvious what he was doing.

"But why? You don't need to sleep," Dean pointed out.

"I saw on tv once someone said there is no greater feeling than waking up next to the one you love," Cas said looking at Dean lovingly. 

Dean felt a smile spread across his lips as he looked at Cas fondly.

"So how did you sleep, Dean?" Cas asked reaching up to touch Dean's cheek.

"I love you, Cas," Dean sighed.

"Why are you sad?" Cas asked worriedly.

Dean sat up, causing Cas to as well.

"I'm not sad, Cas, I just can't believe I'm lucky enough to call you mine," Dean answered. 

"Then why do you look so sad?" Cas frowned at the hunter.

"I just wish Stiles would let himself be happy with Derek. I could never imagine not being with you, knowing you feel the way I do," Dean grabbed Cas' hand in his.

"He's afraid, Dean. Can you really fault him? You denied yourself happiness out of fear for a long time, you can't be surprised Stiles is doing the same thing."

"But despite how much my love for you scared me, I knew the moment you told me you felt the same, that I wouldn't allow my fear to keep me from you. The fear of losing you will be there no matter what, so, I'd rather have you," Dean squeezed Cas' hand.

"Perhaps Stiles just needs time to see that for himself," Cas squeezed back.

-

Stiles paced the bedroom anxiously. He paused in front of the mirror briefly to inspect the mostly healed bite mark on his neck. How was he going to explain to his brothers that he was now mated to a werewolf for the rest of his life? Even if it was Derek, it wasn't something he ever imagined his brothers being okay with. 

"It'll fade more, don't worry," Derek's voice spoke up suddenly beside Stiles.

"But it won't ever go away completely, right?" Stiles asked brushing his fingers over the red mark.

"Not completely, no," Derek shook his head, "is that an issue?" 

Stiles turned to face the concerned alpha, "No, of course not, I just have to find a way to explain it to Sam and Dean."

"You think they'll be mad?" Derek frowned.

"I'm...I'm not sure. Being with you is one thing, but being permanently marked by you is another thing entirely. They like you but you're still a werewolf, and I just got mated to one for life. I can't imagine Dean being okay with that. Sam... he will probably be okay," Stiles answered.

"We can tell them whenever you're ready," Derek grabbed both of Stiles' hands in his.

"Well I won't be able to keep it from them long, this kind of gives it away," Stiles tilted his neck a bit, showing off Derek's mark.

Derek's eyes flashed in satisfaction. He'd never felt so calm and at peace. His wolf wasn't on the verge of snapping and he felt in control once again. Stiles was his and he couldn't have been happier though he could sense Stiles' anxiety. He hoped Stiles didn't regret letting Derek claim him, he was afraid to ask.

"What's wrong?" Stiles asked feeling a sense of unease.

"Nothing," Derek smiled at the hunter.

"No, something is wrong. I can feel something off about you," Stiles frowned.

Derek rose his brows in surprise, "You can feel something is off?" 

Stiles nodded.

"Hmm, perhaps this connects us in more ways than I thought," Derek released Stiles' hand, brushing his fingers over the Winchester's neck.

"So something is off," Stiles accused gently.

Derek dropped his eyes to the hand that still held Stiles', "I just hope you don't regret it."

"Der, I could never regret that. I love you. I am honored to be yours," Stiles lifted Derek's chin so their eyes met, "I promise," Stiles leaned in, connecting their lips. 

Derek felt himself relax at Stiles' confession. He melted into the kiss. It was nice to be able to enjoy it instead of worrying about his wolf coming through. 

"Do you really think Dean will be upset that I marked you?" Derek asked once Stiles pulled away. 

Stiles turned back to the mirror, "There's only one way to find out." 

-

Cas placed a simple kiss on Dean's cheek as he sat down at the table next to him. Dean grabbed Cas' tie pulling him into a real kiss. 

Cas smiled at the hunter once Dean released him. 

"You two are so cute it makes me want to throw up," a familiar voice spoke causing Cas and Dean to look up.

"Gabriel, why are you wearing Sam's shirt?" Cas frowned at the archangel.

"You're not the only one sleeping with a hunter, little brother," Gabriel winked. 

Dean smirked at a blushing Sam, "I didn't realize you were even here, Gabe," 

"That was the point," Sam sighed. 

"You said they already knew," Gabriel shrugged. 

"They knew we went on a date," Sam clarified. 

"Well now they know we're sleeping together," Gabriel pecked Sam's lips who fought a smile.

"I do believe you're smitten, Sammy," Dean teased. 

"Shut up," Sam blushed again.

"Hey, I'm happy for you," Dean smiled at Sam. He truly was glad to see he'd finally given in to his feelings for Gabriel. Now if only Stiles would give in to Derek. 

"Thanks, it's weird but...I'm happy too," Sam smiled down at his smoothie. 

Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam, "There's no one happier than me." 

"Oh so you're telling people now?" Derek asked walking into the room with Stiles behind him.

"How did you-?" Sam frowned.

"I smelled him on you the first time," Derek shrugged. 

Gabriel and Sam both blushed a bright scarlet shade. 

"Stiles, what happened to your neck?" Dean asked suddenly, his tone serious.

Stiles' hand flew to the mark. He felt himself begin to panic. 

"Ah, the good ol' mate claim. Congrats, Derek," Gabriel gave the alpha a pat on the shoulder as he walked by. 

Derek froze.

"Mate claim?" Sam frowned in confusion.

Derek looked at Stiles who looked terrified. 

"Derek claimed Stiles as his mate," Cas explained, "I read about that. The alpha will mark his mate, claiming them. It signifies that they're mated for life. Kind of like marriage, but even more permanent," Cas smiled at Derek and Stiles.

"I'm sorry, even more permanent?" Dean jerked his head towards Cas. 

"Wolves mate for life, Dean," Cas responded.

Stiles isn't a wolf," Dean growled.

"No, but he's a wolf's mate," 

"So, the rules shouldn't apply to him," Dean stood, "besides, when did this happen? I thought you were rejecting Derek? Did he force you? Did he do this without your consent?" Dean asked Stiles angrily.

"No, Dean, he would never do that, It was my idea," Stiles answered removing his hand from his neck.

"Your idea? You tied yourself to him permanently, do you even know what that means?" Dean scoffed.

"Dean," Sam spoke, trying to calm the oldest Winchester.

"Yes, I know what that means, Dean. And I don't regret it," Stiles huffed. 

"Look don't get me wrong, I like Derek, but he's still a werewolf," Dean frowned.

"So?" Stiles snapped in offense.

"Do you really think being mated to one for life is a good idea?" Dean turned Stiles' jaw as he inspected the bite. 

"What's the big deal?" Stiles snapped, pulling away from his brother.

"Just yesterday you weren't even going to give him a chance, and now all of a sudden you're linked to him permanently?" Dean eyed Derek suspiciously.

"Yes, because Sam told me something that made me change my mind; he told me that I would love Derek whether I was with him or not and losing him would hurt the same either way," Stiles answered.

"Okay, so you date the guy, you don't marry him," Dean threw his hands up.

"I didn't marry him," Stiles rolled his eyes.

"No, you did something much more permanent," Dean scoffed.

"I'm his mate, there is no dating. You're either together or you're not, we tried to be together without the claiming, it doesn't work. It's all or nothing, and I love all of Derek. I don't care that he's a werewolf. He made it very clear what this meant, and I'm honored to be bearing his mark," Stiles felt protective of Derek suddenly. He refused to let Dean make this an issue.

"Dean, he's right, a wolf doesn't pick their mate, they just are. That mark only makes them stronger together. I know you're still getting used to Derek being a werewolf, but he's meant for Stiles. They wouldn't be mates otherwise," Cas laid a hand gently on Dean's arm. He knew he could calm the hunter.

Dean looked at the angel before letting out a sigh, "you're right," Dean turned to Stiles and Derek, "I'm sorry, I just..." Dean trailed off. He wasn't used to the idea that Derek was a werewolf. Most days he forgot that was even the case, but his baby brother was now mated to a werewolf for life, the hunter in him didn't like it.

"I know, Dean, but I can handle myself and I love him. You want me to he happy and I am, for the first time ever, I'm truly happy," Stiles smiled reassuringly at Dean.

"Okay," Dean nodded. 

Stiles was surprised by Dean's response. 

"Okay?" Stiles frowned. 

"I'm not dad, I want you to be happy. Doing what I want you to do won't make you happy, I realize that. Besides didn't I just get pissed at you for not being with Derek?" Dean chuckled. 

Stiles smiled widely at his brother.

"Derek, I don't have to tell you you're brother in-laws are two of the most deadly hunters and two literal angels," Dean smirked turning to the alpha. 

Derek laughed, "I'm very much aware." 

"You're brave," Gabriel snorted. 

"Says the guy who is dating the guy  
who's brother you killed over a hundred times," Stiles raised a brow. 

"Touche," Gabriel chuckled.

Derek slipped his arm around Stiles waist, pulling him in close, "He's worth the risk." 

 

*AN*  
The end. I know, crappy ending, but I'm shit at endings. I had someone mention a sequel, I don't normally do sequels, however, it wouldn't be too hard to do for this one. I'm tossing around the idea. Let me know if you'd be interested.  
For now you can join me as I write 'All Hale the King'. Thank you all for reading and voting and commenting, it means the world to me! ❤❤


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